Graders Puns

That's just sixist.

Again....this is from a 1st grader...

Knock knock

Who's there

A panda Bear

A panda bear who?

No, you're supposed to say What Panda Bear...

Ok What panda bear?

Umm......a tiger?

Not a dad joke...but I laughed anyway

He was putting his shoes on and I noticed he put them on the wrong feet. I told him, "Hey you put your shoes on the wrong feet!" He looked down and thought for a second, then said, "I don't have any other feet."

He had to fight. For his right. To POTTY!!!

In Math class -

Kid: "Do you have a ruler?"

Me: "Not really, he's a President so he's the leader of the Executive Branch, which is one of three branches in charge."

(Completely goes over kid's head)

Kid: "I just need a ruler."

Me: "Ah, I'd say move to Sweden. They have a Monarchy and it's beautiful there."

What shoe has a big ass?

Nike Minaj.

I work at an elementary school and a 5th grader has been calling me Mr. Tall since 1st grade. I'm only 6 feet 3. He got me with this one today.

He said as I randomly walked down the hall, "hey Mr. Tall, you must have to use the Toll Free Lane on the highway."

Student (looking at map): Where is Hungary?

Me: Probably near thirsty!

Student: sigh Wow...

He operated the grader.

A class of third graders are sitting down at their desks one morning when their teacher walks in.

“Good morning class, today we’ll be working on our English. Can someone use the word Fascinate in a sentence for me?”

Little girl in the front row raises her hand high, squirming in her seat. “The stars last night were fascinating.”

Teacher looks at her and says,”Close, I want you to use the word Fascinate.”

A boy near the middle of the room stands up and says,”I’m fascinated by the ocean and it’s creatures.”

“That’s still not the answer I’m looking for.” The teacher says. “Can anyone give me an example of Fascinate in a sentence.”

A quiet boy in the back stands up, clears his throat and says,”My grandmother came over last night wearing her new dress. It has ten buttons in the the front but her boobies are so big she can only fasten eight of them.”

It seems like a which hunt.

Because otherwise it would b flat.

Compliments of my 6th graders band instructor.

I'm an elementary school teacher. When kids tell me they're tired, hungry etc, I often give the typical "hi hungry, I'm Adam response"

On Friday a first grader came to me at recess and said "I'm bored!" I said "ok". She looked confused, then flustered, then blurted out "...nice to meet you Adam!" and ran away to play on the swings.

Ever since I came into my wife’s kids’ lives (6 and 9 at the time) I would tell them at 2:45 the Friday before schools started next week “summer vacation is over. It’s just a weekend now.” Now I have my own 1st grader as the other two are off to college. The cycle begins anew.

Mods, if this is against the rules, I apologize. Feel free to remove and I'll try and find better luck on Google.

I'm a middle school teacher and my 8th graders are graduating on Thursday. They've been a great, wonderful class to have, but they always complain about lame my jokes are. I feel that the most suitable way to send them off would be, either on the last day of class or at their graduation ceremony, would be to send them off with their own individual dad roast from me. (Think Norm MacDonald at the Bob Saget roast).

If anybody has any good dad roast jokes that won't get me fired nor get misconstrued for bullying, I'd greatly appreciate it. Thanks!

My classroom has air conditioning, but it only kicks in on warm days like today. When my fifth graders came in this morning, a couple immediately started complaining. "It's freezing in here!"

I had been waiting for this opportunity all year! I pointed to the corner of the room. "Well, if you're cold, you can go stand over there. The corner is 90º!"

The best part was the chorus of incredulous students shouting "really?!" who then went over to investigate. It wasn't until they pointed out that the temperature was same over there that they realized they had been duped.

Discount Dracula! (A joke submitted by one of my 3rd graders using his spelling word: discount. I have to believe since this was the only one of 10 that made actual sense, there was a dad behind this one! ;)

I work for the school system doing before and after school child care. Today, during outside playtime, a fourth grader came up to me and said "I hit my shin on the bench." I couldn't help but reply "Man..that's a really bad shinjury."

^^^^I'll ^^^^let ^^^^myself ^^^^out.

My 9th grader brother at dinner: We're learning about evolution in my Biology class. Today I learned that 50% of human DNA is the same as bananas' DNA.

Dad: Now you know why I'm always going bananas!

My 9th grader brother: -stands up, pushes in chair, leaves table-

A group of fifth graders are visiting our school he asks the kids "Hey did Mr. O(5th grade music teacher) ever tell you we went to college. It was me him and Abraham Lincoln in class"

One of his favorites "What side of the dog has the most fur?" "The Outside"

Whenever a kid asks "Can I go to the bathroom?" He always answers with "Only a Dr. Can tell you that." He does is so much that when A child says may I go to the bathroom he still does it without thinking. Most students stopped asking to go to the bathroom or ask me.

Its been a great few months of these, I'll add more to the comments as I think of them.

My co-worker told everyone her project was "Jamaican art"-to 2ond and 3rd graders. I walked over and said "what kind of art Jamaican?" My humor is sadly lost on the children.