What has four legs, green fur, and if it drops on you from a tree, will kill you?

A pool table

πŸ‘︎ 68
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WarlordGalrut
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2021
🚨︎ report
I'm a fur eel
πŸ‘︎ 48
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Leet_As_Sin
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2021
🚨︎ report
I'm going to open a guanaco fur sleepwear warehouse with my mom.

We'll call it "Mama's Llama Pajamarama"

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bbacher
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2021
🚨︎ report
What did the rabbit use to make his fur nice and shiny?

Hare tonic (hat tip Bugs Bunny)

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Keithninety
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2021
🚨︎ report
What kind of fur can irritate your skin?

Sulfur.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DENelson83
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2021
🚨︎ report
I accidentally took my cats meds this morning...

Don't ask meow.

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jplumbo
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2021
🚨︎ report
Here's an interesting story of how I have a black thick furred animal with short tail that walks on soles of its feet

The story is long ,bear with me

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WetSoggyTaco
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2021
🚨︎ report
People were creeped out by the backwards version of Fur Elise coming out of Beethoven's grave

Turns out he was just decomposing.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mrs_Ross
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2021
🚨︎ report
A hare, a bunny and a rabbi walk into a blood donation camp

The rabbi says I'm probably a Type O

πŸ‘︎ 815
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Smol_Yeeter
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2021
🚨︎ report
My son grows a lot of fur and manufactures products of art or craft on nights when the moon is full...

He is a ware wolf!

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2021
🚨︎ report
Which side of a dog has the most hair/fur?

The outside

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SpecOpsAlpha
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2021
🚨︎ report
The wife has a new Ewok fur coat.

She looks totally wicket in it.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/joeChump
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
🚨︎ report
I just saw a stray dog with the Eiffel Tower stuck in his fur, along with Arc de Triumph and the Louvre...

...poor little guy, covered in Paris Sites.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
🚨︎ report
What does a rapper who grew up on a farm do to maintain their credibility?

They keep it rural

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/j3tman
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2021
🚨︎ report
Do bears have any fur on their butts?

No, they’re straight up beare-assed.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThunderAlex2
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2020
🚨︎ report
What kind of fur do you get from a werewolf?

As fur away as you can get.

πŸ‘︎ 80
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Guyshu
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2020
🚨︎ report
What kind of sports cars do cats drive?

Fur-arris!

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lodiman77
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2021
🚨︎ report
*reference to Spongebob and Patrick stealing Sandy's fur*
πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/levilheaded
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Don't you hate when your catpet starts shedding fur? v.redd.it/0su91v3qc5131
πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hpar1
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2019
🚨︎ report
A man with muscular furred limbs and claws walks into a bar

The bartender gives the man a funny look then the man says: "What? I have the right to bear arms".

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CuttingEdge132
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s the dumbest animal in the Amazon rainforest?

The polar bear.

πŸ‘︎ 90
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πŸ‘€︎ u/grublets
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2021
🚨︎ report
When my Himalayan friend told his son to go sheer a yak's fur, the son replied...

"Sherpa"

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/-taco-rice-
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Whenever I go fur trapping...

I bring my beaver cleaver.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/envengpe
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Think I've created a three fer
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jusumdood
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2021
🚨︎ report
What’s the worst part of giving a cat a bath?

Getting all the fur off your tongue.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a bear with no fur?

Bear-naked

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dpearson008
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Where do dogs lose the most fur?

The shed.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cyphr0st
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2019
🚨︎ report
I bearly finished my fur-st meme
πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mackmickpalmer1
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2019
🚨︎ report
What happened to Steven Spielberg when he went camping in Yellowstone and didn't bring a bear bag?

He had some Close Encounters of the Furred Kind.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sycdan
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2021
🚨︎ report
Only a lunatic would wear a wolf fur jacket

Seriously, who else would werewolf?

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MightyOtaku
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2018
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend's cat always steals my spot on the bed, it makes me FUR-ious
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JasmineFoxie
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2019
🚨︎ report
i asked a girl wearing fur boots and Apple Bottom jeans for water

needless to say, shawty got l'eau

πŸ‘︎ 109
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gowthamcity
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2016
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the lady who bought a fur coat?

She wanted to be the miss in lynx

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DarkJizo-_-
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Neutering an animal makes it infertile. Making its hide into carpet squares makes it fur tile.
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/moothane
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2018
🚨︎ report
Fur those who teach
πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2018
🚨︎ report
Why do brown bears have fur coats? ...

β€˜Cos they’d look silly in anoraks.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cwwspurs
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a rabbit that’s losing its fur?

A receding hareline

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/samrf1202
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Friend: "Ugh, this stupid christian fur is blocking my video game!"

Me: "You mean the Cross-hair?"

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/x3astu
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2018
🚨︎ report
Which mystical creature has the softest fur?

The were-wool-f.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pdonkey
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2019
🚨︎ report
I chased this guy wearing a sexy tuxedo made of cat fur

It was a hot purr suit.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2018
🚨︎ report
100 Paw-sitively Meow-nificent Cat Purr-ns Fur Mew to Use Whenev-fur Mew Need
  • Allow => A-meow
  • Apology => A-paw-logy
  • Appalling => A-paw-ling
  • Attitude => Cat-titude
  • Awesome => Paw-some / Claw-some
  • Awful => Claw-ful / Paw-ful
  • Because => Be-claws
  • Before => Be-fur
  • Bother => Bo-fur
  • Catastrophe => Cat-astrophe
  • Catastrophic => Cat-astrophic
  • Catch => Cat-ch
  • Clever => Claw-ver
  • Confusing => Con-fur-sing
  • Congratulations => Con-cat-ulations
  • Different => Dif-fur-rent
  • Disappearance => Disa-purr-ance
  • Familiar => Fur-miliar
  • Feeling => Feline
  • For => Fur
  • For real => Fur real
  • Forever => Fur-ever
  • Forget => Fur-get
  • Fortunate => Fur-tunate
  • Forward => Fur-ward
  • Friend => Fur-end
  • Furious => Fur-ious
  • Further => Fur-ther
  • Get or Got => Cat
  • Help me out => Help meow-t
  • History => Hiss-tory
  • Hysterical => Hiss-terical
  • Inferior => In-fur-ior
  • Kidding me => Kitten me
  • Konnichiwa => Konnichi-paw
  • Literally => Litter-ally
  • Literature => Litter-a-ture
  • Lost => Claw-st
  • Lying => Lion
  • Magnificent => Meow-nificent
  • Marvellous => Meow-velous
  • Minimum => Mew-nimum
  • Misery => Mew-sery
  • Moment => Mew-ment
  • Mountain => Meow-ntain
  • Move => Mew-v
  • Music => Mew-sic
  • Musician => Meow-sician
  • Never => Nev-fur
  • New => Mew
  • Now => Meow
  • Over => Ov-fur
  • Paper => Pay-purr
  • Pardon me => Paw-don me
  • Pause => Paws
  • Perfect => Purr-fect
  • Perhaps => Purr-haps
  • Permission => Purr-mission
  • Person => Purr-son
  • Personal => Purr-sonal
  • Persuasion => Purr-suasion
  • Places => Purr-laces
  • Please => Paw-lease
  • Portable => Paw-table
  • Positive => Paw-sitive
  • Possibility => Paw-sibility
  • Possibly => Paw-sibly
  • Precious => Purr-ecious
  • Prefer => Paw-fer
  • Preposterous => Pre-paw-sterous
  • Pretty => Purr-ty
  • Priceless => Purr-iceless
  • Prince => Purr-ince
  • Princess => Purr-incess
  • Puns => Purr-ns
  • Purpose => Purr-pose
  • Referring => Re-fur-ing
  • Respond => Res-paw-nd
  • Simple => Sim-paw-le
  • Suffer => Suf-fur
  • Superior => Su-purr-ior
  • Tale => Tail
  • Talent => Tail-ent
  • Tell => Tail
  • That’s all => Cat’s all
  • Unfortunate => Un-fur-tunate
  • Very => Furry
  • Whenever => Whene-fur
  • Wonderful => Won-fur-ful
  • You => Mew
  • Apologize => A-paw-logize
  • First => Furr-st
  • How are you? => Meow are mew?
  • Morning => Meowrning
  • Phon
... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/eyl327
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2017
🚨︎ report
If a fox wore gloves lined with rabbit fur

Would that be faux paus?

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kappattacka
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2018
🚨︎ report
What do rabbits use to keep their fur in place?

Hare bands

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HumboltQuadrant
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2018
🚨︎ report
Which side of a werewolf has the most fur?

The outside.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MagNolYa-Ralf
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Which side of a cat has the most fur?

The outside.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tydugusa
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2018
🚨︎ report

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