Which side of a dog has the most hair/fur?
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︎ Jan 21 2021
The wife has a new Ewok fur coat.
She looks totally wicket in it.
π︎ 20
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︎ Dec 15 2020
I just saw a stray dog with the Eiffel Tower stuck in his fur, along with Arc de Triumph and the Louvre...
...poor little guy, covered in Paris Sites.
π︎ 17
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︎ Nov 27 2020
Do bears have any fur on their butts?
No, theyβre straight up beare-assed.
π︎ 13
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︎ Jul 05 2020
A man with muscular furred limbs and claws walks into a bar
The bartender gives the man a funny look then the man says:
"What? I have the right to bear arms".
π︎ 3
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︎ Aug 18 2020
What kind of fur do you get from a werewolf?
As fur away as you can get.
π︎ 84
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︎ Mar 17 2020
When my Himalayan friend told his son to go sheer a yak's fur, the son replied...
π︎ 11
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︎ Jun 07 2020
Whenever I go fur trapping...
I bring my beaver cleaver.
π︎ 3
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︎ Jun 28 2020
*reference to Spongebob and Patrick stealing Sandy's fur*
π︎ 27
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︎ Feb 09 2020
From my 8 year old: Dad, how do camels hide from predators?
Me: Their fur is the same color as the desert so they blend in.
Her: Exactly! They camel-flage!
I walked right into that one lol
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︎ Feb 02 2021
π︎ 18
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︎ May 29 2019
What do you call a bear with no fur?
π︎ 5
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︎ Nov 02 2019
Did you hear about the lady who bought a fur coat?
She wanted to be the miss in lynx
π︎ 3
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︎ Nov 15 2019
Where do dogs lose the most fur?
π︎ 16
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︎ Jul 16 2019
My girlfriend's cat always steals my spot on the bed, it makes me FUR-ious
π︎ 2
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︎ Aug 26 2019
Why do brown bears have fur coats? ...
βCos theyβd look silly in anoraks.
π︎ 2
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︎ Oct 17 2019
I bearly finished my fur-st meme
π︎ 9
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︎ Feb 07 2019
I let my cat outside today but when I started listening to Daft Punk she rushed back inside
I guess she is more of a house cat
π︎ 24
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︎ Aug 27 2020
Only a lunatic would wear a wolf fur jacket
Seriously, who else would werewolf?
π︎ 32
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︎ Dec 07 2018
What do you call a rabbit thatβs losing its fur?
π︎ 6
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︎ Jun 07 2019
Neutering an animal makes it infertile. Making its hide into carpet squares makes it fur tile.
π︎ 8
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︎ Nov 04 2018
Fur those who teach
π︎ 14
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︎ Aug 30 2018
i asked a girl wearing fur boots and Apple Bottom jeans for water
needless to say, shawty got l'eau
π︎ 105
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︎ Sep 02 2016
I was going to buy my kid this winter coat we saw at the mall, but I couldn't afford it.
π︎ 5
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︎ Sep 25 2020
Which mystical creature has the softest fur?
π︎ 2
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︎ Jan 28 2019
Friend: "Ugh, this stupid christian fur is blocking my video game!"
Me: "You mean the Cross-hair?"
π︎ 3
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︎ Dec 09 2018
I chased this guy wearing a sexy tuxedo made of cat fur
π︎ 8
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︎ Jul 23 2018
The next generation will be Cup, Plate, and Bowl
π︎ 529
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︎ Jan 13 2020
If a fox wore gloves lined with rabbit fur
π︎ 3
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︎ May 20 2018
100 Paw-sitively Meow-nificent Cat Purr-ns Fur Mew to Use Whenev-fur Mew Need
- Allow => A-meow
- Apology => A-paw-logy
- Appalling => A-paw-ling
- Attitude => Cat-titude
- Awesome => Paw-some / Claw-some
- Awful => Claw-ful / Paw-ful
- Because => Be-claws
- Before => Be-fur
- Bother => Bo-fur
- Catastrophe => Cat-astrophe
- Catastrophic => Cat-astrophic
- Catch => Cat-ch
- Clever => Claw-ver
- Confusing => Con-fur-sing
- Congratulations => Con-cat-ulations
- Different => Dif-fur-rent
- Disappearance => Disa-purr-ance
- Familiar => Fur-miliar
- Feeling => Feline
- For => Fur
- For real => Fur real
- Forever => Fur-ever
- Forget => Fur-get
- Fortunate => Fur-tunate
- Forward => Fur-ward
- Friend => Fur-end
- Furious => Fur-ious
- Further => Fur-ther
- Get or Got => Cat
- Help me out => Help meow-t
- History => Hiss-tory
- Hysterical => Hiss-terical
- Inferior => In-fur-ior
- Kidding me => Kitten me
- Konnichiwa => Konnichi-paw
- Literally => Litter-ally
- Literature => Litter-a-ture
- Lost => Claw-st
- Lying => Lion
- Magnificent => Meow-nificent
- Marvellous => Meow-velous
- Minimum => Mew-nimum
- Misery => Mew-sery
- Moment => Mew-ment
- Mountain => Meow-ntain
- Move => Mew-v
- Music => Mew-sic
- Musician => Meow-sician
- Never => Nev-fur
- New => Mew
- Now => Meow
- Over => Ov-fur
- Paper => Pay-purr
- Pardon me => Paw-don me
- Pause => Paws
- Perfect => Purr-fect
- Perhaps => Purr-haps
- Permission => Purr-mission
- Person => Purr-son
- Personal => Purr-sonal
- Persuasion => Purr-suasion
- Places => Purr-laces
- Please => Paw-lease
- Portable => Paw-table
- Positive => Paw-sitive
- Possibility => Paw-sibility
- Possibly => Paw-sibly
- Precious => Purr-ecious
- Prefer => Paw-fer
- Preposterous => Pre-paw-sterous
- Pretty => Purr-ty
- Priceless => Purr-iceless
- Prince => Purr-ince
- Princess => Purr-incess
- Puns => Purr-ns
- Purpose => Purr-pose
- Referring => Re-fur-ing
- Respond => Res-paw-nd
- Simple => Sim-paw-le
- Suffer => Suf-fur
- Superior => Su-purr-ior
- Tale => Tail
- Talent => Tail-ent
- Tell => Tail
- Thatβs all => Catβs all
- Unfortunate => Un-fur-tunate
- Very => Furry
- Whenever => Whene-fur
- Wonderful => Won-fur-ful
- You => Mew
- Apologize => A-paw-logize
- First => Furr-st
- How are you? => Meow are mew?
- Morning => Meowrning
- Phon
...
keep reading on reddit β‘
π︎ 5
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︎ Feb 01 2017
What do rabbits use to keep their fur in place?
π︎ 5
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︎ Mar 16 2018
If I were to make a MΓΆbius strip out of black and white dog fur,
would it result in eternal Dalmation?
π︎ 2
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︎ Jun 04 2018
What do you call a South African coat that is half leather half fur.
π︎ 6
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︎ Nov 25 2017
Cat showers
π︎ 22
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︎ Jun 21 2019
What would satin's name be if he was a furry?
π︎ 9
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︎ Apr 20 2020
I think thereβs a special place in hell for my friend Dante, because heβs always trolling animal rights activists.
π︎ 3
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︎ Jul 22 2020
Did you know that Shrek is a furry?
Yea, heβs got fur all ogre him
π︎ 2
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︎ Jul 22 2020
What do you call a dead Gopher?
Just fur. It doesn't go anymore.
π︎ 10
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︎ Jun 18 2020
Very proud of my five year old daughter. My wife screamed with a sound of absolute terror while in the shower earlier. I find out that she saw a few hairs together, thought it was a giant bug, and temporarily lost her mind. My daughter asked why she screamed...
...so I told her that her mom saw a few hairs fall out of her head and freaked out.
My daughter responds, completely deadpan, "mom had rabbits falling out of her head?"
She's going to be a great dad one day.
Edit: skipped a word
π︎ 817
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︎ Jul 04 2018
Puurfectly balanced as all things should be
π︎ 16
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︎ Sep 07 2018
What did the lion say to the zoo keeper that shaved its body bald but kept the mane?
π︎ 3
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︎ Jun 28 2020
So proud of my daughter! Weβre watching the dog desperately trying to get the cat to play with her. Me: βDog canβt hang because sheβs a dump truck and and the cat is a Ferrari. Daughter:
Donβt you mean a βFur-rariβ?
π︎ 19
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︎ May 09 2020
A power plant blows up near a aquarium...
and I had to be the one to tell my boss about the mutated eels. After I gathered all my courage, I said to him
βSir, the eels have fur all over them and are humanoid too!β
My boss looked so surprised, and was silent for a minute or two. Finally, he asked me
βFur-eel man?β
π︎ 12
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︎ Apr 24 2020
Which side of a werewolf has the most fur?
π︎ 3
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︎ Nov 16 2019
Which side of a cat has the most fur?
π︎ 11
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︎ Jul 11 2018
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