Frog pun
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2020
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A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller.

He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patty Whack.

"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday."

Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.

Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.

The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.

She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"

The bank manager looks back at her and says, "It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mama_Bear15
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
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What happens when a frog parks illegally

His car gets toad

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/declandrury
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2021
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What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down ??

It gets "toad" away

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gp_11
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2021
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What's a frog's favorite drug?

Croakaine.

(Thanks Sam Reigel)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rathabro
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2021
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Frogs shouldn't write cheques.

They always bounce.

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DoomRulz
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2021
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I know why beer and frog legs go together so well!

It's the HOPS!

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BastetLXIX
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2021
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I Went to a Frog Funeral Today

He lived a good life, it was just too bad he croaked so young.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AstrosAtoZ
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2021
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Did you know frogs taste like beer?

They're full of hops!

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/trashconverters
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2021
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I have no real opinion on frogs or toads.

I'm amphibalent.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2021
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So I ate some frog legs for the first time tonight

They were pretty good. Only problem is, I now have a frog in my throat!

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HissingGoose
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2021
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There is a species of frog that can jump higher than a 3 story house

This is due to the frog's incredibly strong hind legs, and the fact that a house can't jump.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cornedbeefhash1
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
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Why are frogs always so happy?

They eat whatever bugs them

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πŸ‘€︎ u/moiKeshav
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
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What happens when a frog gets a concussion?

It becomes a foggy froggy.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
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What happens to frogs that park illegally?

They get toad.

Edit: this content is unoriginal

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrFitBit
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
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What's a frog's favorite sandwich?

The McRibbit

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mettaton0H_YES
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
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If James Hetfield officiated a wedding between Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy.....

He would be the Pastor of Muppets

πŸ‘︎ 94
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πŸ‘€︎ u/proweld7
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2020
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Just read a few facts about frogs

They were ribbiting.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lolyfe-dc
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
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What did the horny frog say?

Rubbit.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thicklog7
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
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My son's pet frog broke his leg yesterday

He was very unhoppy

πŸ‘︎ 126
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ineedapapaya
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2020
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If frogs are from Greenland then.......

....... Sharks are from Finland.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sherlock_er
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
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What does a frog in Paris eat ?

French flies.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
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Where do South American frogs live?

Chile Pad.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ILikePVT
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
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What did Kermit the frog say at Jim Henson’s funeral?

Nothing.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VVIIVVI
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2020
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What is the frog community's favorite sporting event?

Marsh Madness

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
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What did the frog say when he jumped in the puddle?

Knee deep

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πŸ‘€︎ u/skullchin
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
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Mama Frog was really struggling with her youngest, Little Hop. He couldn’t seem to sit still!

That is, at least not long enough to learn any of the many, many important things a frog needs to learn in order to be a frog.

You see, a frog needs to be super slick in order to get by. A frog without proper skills, well, he may as well be a toad.

Anyways, every time Mama Frog went about trying to teach Little Hop something, he would just bounce.. and bounce.. and bounce..

And every time Mama Frog had reached her limit of patience, right before giving up, she’d say to Little Hop, β€œIf you keep on keepin’ on hoppin around all aimless, I’m gonna turn you into a toad!”

Which, upon hearing, Little Hop would stop his hop and settle. You see, he knew well enough that he wanted no part of being a toad.

Well, on one particular day, during one such lesson, Little Hop had taken again to bouncing here, and bouncing there - and just about everywhere besides a place he could listen! And on this same particular day, Mama Frog’s patience was worn real, real, thin, you see, and she got sudden filled with a terrible frustration.

And just like a firecracker went off, in a sudden snap, Mama Frog turned Little Hop straight into a toad!

And when it was done, Mama Frog looked at him direct, shook her head, and said..

β€œI toad you so.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/martianrome
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
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Frogs don’t put pulled pork on their plates at a barbecue

They just rib it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CJCray8
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
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Frogs and frigs
πŸ‘︎ 47
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZTNB
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2020
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What is a frogs favourite soda

Croak-a cola

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/amunethann
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
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What music do frogs listen to?

Hip hop

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πŸ‘€︎ u/grumbo44
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2020
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Some people say its crazy for a frog to be in love with a pig...

...but it just requires a bit of kermitment

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Alastrel3000
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
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Why are frogs scared of everything?

It’s because cause they’re jumpy.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/booooooop123
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2020
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How does a frog take off a bandaid?

They ribbit

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tommygunz20
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2020
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So a frog walks into a bank

So a frog walks into a bank and he goes up to the person working there and sees her nametag that says Patricia Whack so he says "miss whack i would like a loan of fifty thousand dollars for my vacation"

Patty just looks at him in disbelief so the frog ccontinues on "its okay I'm Kermit Jagger my dad is Mick Jagger and he knows the bank manager"

Patty is confused so she just responds "okay but you will need collateral for the loan"

"This oughta do it" the frog says while pulling a tiny porcelain elephant out of his pocket

Patty is even more confused so she excuses herself to the back to talk to her manager

Patty says to her manager "there is a frog who wants a loan and he said his dad is Mick Jagger and he tried to give me this elephant what is this?"

The manager replies "its a knicknack Patty whack give that frog a loan his old mans a rolling stone"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jacksminecraftdog
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2021
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A Frog and a Bank Loan

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that the teller's name is Patricia Whack. So he says, "Ms. Whack, I'd like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on a long vacation." Patti looks at the frog in disbelief and asks how much he wants to borrow.

The frog says $30,000.

The teller asks his name and the frog says that his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's OK, he knows the bank manager.

Patti explains that $30,000 is a substantial amount of money and that he will need to secure some collateral against the loan. She asks if he has anything he can use as collateral.

The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny pink porcelain elephant, about half an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patti explains that she'll have to consult with the manager and disappears into a back office.

She finds the manager and says "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000. He wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what the heck is this?"

The bank manager looks back at her and says: "It's a knick knack, Patti Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone"

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bstie
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2021
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A Frog and a Bank Loan

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that the teller's name is Patricia Whack. So he says, "Ms. Whack, I'd like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on a long vacation." Patti looks at the frog in disbelief and asks how much he wants to borrow.

The frog says $30,000.

The teller asks his name and the frog says that his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's OK, he knows the bank manager.

Patti explains that $30,000 is a substantial amount of money and that he will need to secure some collateral against the loan. She asks if he has anything he can use as collateral.

The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny pink porcelain elephant, about half an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patti explains that she'll have to consult with the manager and disappears into a back office.

She finds the manager and says "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000. He wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what the heck is this?"

The bank manager looks back at her and says: "It's a knick knack, Patti Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone"

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bstie
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2021
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Why do frogs taste like beer?

Cause they are full of hops.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jj8o8
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
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I like to eat frogs, they taste like beer

Because they’re full of hops

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/serialcompliment
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
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A Frog Walks into a Bank

A frog walks into a bank and approaches the teller, whose name plate says Patricia Whack.
"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $50,000 loan to take a vacation."
Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name.
"KermitΒ Jagger. My father is Mick Jagger. It will be fine to authorize the loan, I know your manager."
Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.
"Sure, how about this," said Kermit as he produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed. Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.
Patty walks into the manager's office and proceeds to tell her, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $50,000, and he wants to use this as collateral." Patty holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"
The bank manager looks back at her and says..."It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/josephlied
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
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Why are frogs always so happy?

They eat what ever bugs them

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TreKs
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
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My pet frog broke his leg this morning...

He’s very unhoppy.

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
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Just read a few facts about frogs.

They were ribbiting

πŸ‘︎ 49
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πŸ‘€︎ u/saiyyanwarrior
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
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What happens when a frog's car breaks?

It gets toad.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Herbixx
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
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What happens to a frogs car when it breaks down?

It gets toad away

πŸ‘︎ 43
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bishboshTV
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
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What happens when a frog parks illegally?

They get toad.

πŸ‘︎ 131
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sur5er
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2020
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