A kid egged my car today.

I’m nice, so I decided omelette him go.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/omgahya
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2021
🚨︎ report
Why did the chicken go to KFC?

To see a chicken strip.

πŸ‘︎ 827
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πŸ‘€︎ u/graphicc_yt
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2021
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Did you know that French fries were not made in France???

They were made in Greece

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wacey166
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2021
🚨︎ report
Hey Reddit, Guess What?

Chicken Butt...

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2021
🚨︎ report
The potatoes suffered heavy casualties in the first battle of the vegetable wars

>It was a Mashacre

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/greywind721
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2021
🚨︎ report
What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"?

"Firetruck."

πŸ‘︎ 597
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πŸ‘€︎ u/eddie964
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a couch potato that smokes a lotta weed?

Fries

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/boombotser
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2021
🚨︎ report
WARNING FOR EVERYONE WHO WANTS THE KFC GAME CONSOLE

Avoid getting a console on launch day. Multiple units had to be recalled due to the circuit boards being "fried".

πŸ‘︎ 101
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ILikeCodecaine
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a potato in a hotel room?

A suite potato.

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KomodoJo3
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I came home from work upset. "My boss fired me because I expressed my opinion," I told my wife.

She said, "That's a human right."

I said, "Yes, my boss is a human."

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/incredibleinkpen
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2021
🚨︎ report
What pan is the best to make sushi in?

Japan.

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Most-Stomach4240
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2021
🚨︎ report
People named Fred should really stop beeing selfish at their jobs. Just give fred an "I" and he might get fired...
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ek7a
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2020
🚨︎ report
what did the egg say as he was about to hatch?

this is so egg-citing!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I got dad joked by my 3 year old daughter at dinner today: "Hey do you have a bun?" I asked her.

"NO I WANT A WHOLE BUN"

She's well on her way to being the dad I never had

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hicd
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Why was my post removed?

Can someone tell me why my post was removed?

I'm a bit annoyed about this as it caused my fence to fall over

πŸ‘︎ 18k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/emu404
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2020
🚨︎ report
My boss said, β€œI find it highly suspicious that you are only sick on weekdays.”

I said, β€œIt must be my weekend immune system.”

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
🚨︎ report
I’m about to share a joke that’ll turn r/dadjokes upside down

sǝʞoɾpɐp/ɹ

πŸ‘︎ 623
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OwenJthomas89
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2021
🚨︎ report
What is seen cannot be unseen
πŸ‘︎ 217
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AnAverageTomato
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2019
🚨︎ report
How much space will Brexit free up in the European Union?

1 GB.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2020
🚨︎ report
What do potatoes do when they're depressed?

They get baked

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lordofthstrings
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call an old computer that smokes weed?

A baked potato

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hoodja42
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2019
🚨︎ report
He came out
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/moses10960
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2018
🚨︎ report
Last night I had a dream that I ate a 50 lb marshmallow.

This morning I woke up and my pillow was gone.

Today is the 13th anniversary of my father passing and this was my favorite joke that he used to tell. Enjoy.

πŸ‘︎ 253
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πŸ‘€︎ u/james-macavoy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2021
🚨︎ report
she's my sweet potato
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wolflambert
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2018
🚨︎ report
My wife and I were stuck in traffic. I said, β€œI’m turning round.”

She said, β€œI know. Stop eating bacon.”

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2018
🚨︎ report
I'm pretty sure this guy is the king of dad jokes. imgur.com/CYgqNlM
πŸ‘︎ 143
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DescendentOfMilo
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2013
🚨︎ report
I have a chicken proof lawn…

Its impeccable…

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2017
🚨︎ report
This is a typo that people seem to make a lot, so I made this.
πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Reason-and-rhyme
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2013
🚨︎ report
Overheard an old man say this to a cashier

I was at an Amish buffet this summer and I was getting ready to pay up at the register when I heard this man say:

Man -"Do you take credit cards here?" Cashier - "We do" Man - "Do you give them back? "

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2014
🚨︎ report
Did you know the first French Fries weren't cooked in France?

They were cooked in Greece

πŸ‘︎ 843
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πŸ‘€︎ u/peepeeperson111
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2021
🚨︎ report
The first French Fries weren't actually cooked in France

They were cooked in Greece

πŸ‘︎ 130
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rj17141
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Why aren’t French fries cooked in France?

Because they were cooked in Greece

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/torreador13
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2020
🚨︎ report
The first French fries weren’t cooked in France.

They were cooked in Greece.

πŸ‘︎ 395
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SycamoreLover
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2018
🚨︎ report

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