How much is Donald Trump's life insurance payout?

One pence

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 15
🚨︎ report
Hey, you're Donald Trump

Orange you?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MagnetronMan
πŸ“…︎ May 18
🚨︎ report
They canceled the tennis match between Donald and Daffy..

As fowl play was to be expected.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Snugl-v202
πŸ“…︎ May 28
🚨︎ report
Why doesn’t Donald Trump like wallabies?

Fake Roos.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thierryornery
πŸ“…︎ May 05
🚨︎ report
Donald Trump posts his tweets in all-caps.

Guess you could call him a capitalist.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/swanky_swanker
πŸ“…︎ May 21
🚨︎ report
Donald Trump May be a bellend but I agree with defunding the WHO

Shit band anyway

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lukedukestar
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15
🚨︎ report
If Donald Trump gets impeached, some people think that he might be

[removed]

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bishslap
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Donald stump
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kenny_G_is_good
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26
🚨︎ report
How did Donald.J leave the circus with 4 of his kids?

With a Trumpety Trump, Trump, Trump, Trump

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πŸ‘€︎ u/maccer20
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14
🚨︎ report
Donald Trumpoline
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πŸ‘€︎ u/itaielidan
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2019
🚨︎ report
Donald Quixote de la Dementia
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JLRosewater
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2019
🚨︎ report
What happened to Donald Trump?

He Putin his two weeks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HawkenG99
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2019
🚨︎ report
*random citizen to Donald Trump* : Hey you're orange!

Donald : Wrong!

Donald : Im peach

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Quints98
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Donald trump wants to ban pre-shredded cheese.

He wants to make America Grate Again.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Strange_An0maly
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15
🚨︎ report
The secret service isn't allowed to yell "Get down!" anymore when the president is about to be attacked. Now they have to yell "Donald, duck!"
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ruchi565
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Someone asked Donald J Trump what the "J" stands for

He said, "it stands for 'Genius'."

πŸ‘︎ 71
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πŸ‘€︎ u/td941
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Donald Trump is reportedly banning the sale of pre-shredded cheese.

He wants to make America grate again.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Throwawayn019283
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2018
🚨︎ report
I heard Donald Trump is going to ban shredded cheese

And make America grate again.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pedro_CB
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2019
🚨︎ report
What would you call Donald Duck if he became a private investigator?

A duck-tective!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NikitaSultoo
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2019
🚨︎ report
What is the difference between the Hindenburg and Donald Trump?

One is a flaming Nazi gasbag, and the other is just a dirigible.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dunn_with_this
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2019
🚨︎ report
What Donald Ducks drug of choice?

Quack cocain

πŸ‘︎ 323
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Donald Trump wants to ban the sale of shredded cheese.

He wants to make America grate again.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nonions
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2019
🚨︎ report
I wonder if Donald Trump hates pre shredded cheese...

Because he wants to make America grate again

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RAWR_XD42069
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Steve Jobs would have made a better president than Donald Trump... reddit.com/r/Jokes/commen…
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FlatbushZubumafu
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Why does Donald Trump take Xanax?

Hispanic attacks

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2019
🚨︎ report
[ACTUAL QUOTE] A$AP Rocky was released from Swedish prison today. Donald Trump's tweet in response to his release:

"A$AP Rocky released from prison and on his way home to the United States from Sweden. It was a Rocky Week, get home ASAP A$AP!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gentlesir123
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Do you know why Melania wont sleep in the same bed as Donald?

He refuses to stop Putin

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JCokeDaKilla
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Ordering food at Mc Donald’s

Woman ask if i want take out or eat here?? I turn and point at a table in the restaurant.. i would rather sit over there and eat.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GoofySwe776
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did donald trump throw the sick eagle out of USA?

Because it was illeagle.

πŸ‘︎ 158
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πŸ‘€︎ u/darealhama
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2018
🚨︎ report
How are anti vaccine kids similar to Donald trump?

They both serve 4 years and then never come back.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/day_dreamer97
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2019
🚨︎ report
How is Steve Jobs like Donald Trump?

I don’t know, that’s comparing apples and oranges.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Torley_
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2019
🚨︎ report
What's Donald Trumps spirit animal?

A Wall-rus.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pdonkey
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2018
🚨︎ report
What's Donald Trump's favorite store?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CrazyChiken123
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2019
🚨︎ report
So Donald Trump (or "the Don" as some call him) has realized that illegal immigrants must be deported at night so that no one will see them leaving and complain...

The problem, however, is that there isn't enough light for the immigrants to find their way back to Mexico. Because of this, the Don institutes his "Early Light" plan in order to give the immigrants a way to see. One immigrant, Jose, is partially blind, so they are wondering if the "Early Light" program will still allow him to see. The ask him: Jose can you see by the Don's "Early Light."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoahTheProtozoa
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2018
🚨︎ report
If Donald trump and Hilary Clinton we’re stuck on a deserted island, who would survive?

America

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πŸ‘€︎ u/romanator25
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2019
🚨︎ report
What is Donald Trump’s favorite news publication?

The Wall Street Journal

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cloud707
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Donald Duck's my favourite character

He always quacks me up

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Khevan_YT
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear Donald Trump is trying to make shredded cheese illegal?

He's trying to make America grate again.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bcarey1233
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the latest thing Donald Trump is trying to do? He’s planning to ban shredded cheese.

He just wants to make America grate again.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Impulse-impulse
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Donald Trump should be reigned in

He's setting a bad president

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Donald Trump wants to make America great again

So they’re only selling blocks of cheese

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πŸ‘€︎ u/can-i-dig-it
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Donald and Melania Trump Invite Hillary and Bill Clinton to a tour of their redecorated white house.

Donald wants to show off how he changed everything since Bill was president. he shows them all the golden oval office and wants to show Hillary his new situation room and leads her out leaving Bill and Melania alone. After a few minutes Donald and Hillary return to find Bill and Melania having sex on his desk. Hillary shouts "Bill how could you!?" Bill turns and says "Let's be honest this isn't the first time that you caught me having sex in the oval office. At least this time it's with the first lady."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Unthgod
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2019
🚨︎ report
What is Donald Trump's favorite car?

Dodge Caravan

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jc2pointzero
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2018
🚨︎ report
How many sons does Donald Trump have?

Trea sons

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FilthBadgers
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call Donald Glover with no kids?

Childless Gambino

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πŸ‘€︎ u/meltedpickless
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2018
🚨︎ report
What did Donald Trump answer when Putin asked him what the J in his name stands for?

Jenius.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Moveitmobile
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did Donald Trump become a cheesemonger?

So he could make America grate again

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/joelnodxd
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Donald Trump was severely disappointed when he once caught Melania cutting the cheese

He wanted to make America grate again.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/supersix00
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2019
🚨︎ report
My son asked me what the first word that popped into my head was when I thought about Donald Trump.

Donald of course

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Son, I once was a succesful Donald Duck mascot, but then i took an arrow to the knee

-Was it that knee, dad?

-No, it was dis knee

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZombiesAtHome
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you hear donald trump tried to hang himself?

It didn't work though, he used fake noose.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vortexdude90
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2018
🚨︎ report
What does Donald trump call kayaks?

Fake canoes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/karatesauce
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2018
🚨︎ report
"How are we going to stay in contact?" Donald asked Bugs Bunny.

"WhatsApp, duck!" said Bugs Bunny.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2019
🚨︎ report
WHY is Donald Trump a traitor?

He’s Putin America second.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WhiteWalterBlack
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2018
🚨︎ report
What’s Donald Duck’s favorite band?

Huey dewey lewis and the news

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BValen7ine
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2018
🚨︎ report
Why didn't the royal family accept candy from Donald Trump?

Because it wasn't king-size.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pdonkey
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you know Donald Trump's favorite Mediterranean food is falafel?

He makes me falafel every day.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/archon5087
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2018
🚨︎ report
Donald Trump walks into a bar.

And promptly lowers it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fatandsalt
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2018
🚨︎ report
Why does Donald Trump take Xanex?

Why does Donald Trump take Xanex?

For hispanic attacks!

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrTheFourth
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2018
🚨︎ report
If Donald Trump wins tomorrow, there will be hell toupee
πŸ‘︎ 400
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VeLZoR
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2016
🚨︎ report
On Donald Trump's inaguration

I, for one, welcome our new comboverlord.

πŸ‘︎ 70
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πŸ‘€︎ u/simmelianben
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2017
🚨︎ report
I was named after Donald Trump.

My name isn't Donald nor Trump. I was named after him, because he was named in 1946, and I was named years later.

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/oldtoy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2017
🚨︎ report
Some people see the Donald Trump / Mike Pence ticket as a punishment for America's sins

They say it's our comeTrumpPence.

πŸ‘︎ 66
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cyborg_Nate
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2016
🚨︎ report
Donald Trump's Vice President i.reddituploads.com/6c671…
πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2016
🚨︎ report
I know no one asked for it, but here is my two cents on Donald Trump being elected

http://imgur.com/a/1w50T

πŸ‘︎ 152
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πŸ‘€︎ u/senor-scholls
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2016
🚨︎ report
This just in, Donald Trump is banning all pre-shredded cheese in America

I guess he’s keeping to his promise of β€œMake America Grate Again!”

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bcmwolverine
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2017
🚨︎ report
Donald Trump has proposed a ban on pre-shredded cheese.

He said he wants to Make America Grate Again.

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Del215
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2017
🚨︎ report
What did Donald Trump say to Kim Jong un?

SEND NUKES

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/banshee252
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2018
🚨︎ report
What did Kim Jung-Un said to Donald Trump.

Send nukes.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dubstepandrock
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2017
🚨︎ report
I do not understand all this hype about Donald Glover.....

He's kinda Childish tbh.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FeetofMario
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2018
🚨︎ report
A quick journey into the merchandising genius of Hillary's campaign gift shop. [x-post from /u/JaroLink in /r/The_Donald] sli.mg/a/2aSZUr
πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tellman1257
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2016
🚨︎ report
You hear about Donald Trump smashing sub atomic particles together with Vladimir Putin?

He's a large hadron colluder.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ooooohpippa
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2018
🚨︎ report
If Donald Trump and Mike Pence go out to lunch

Is it a federal mandate?

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Yoursoulsmate
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2017
🚨︎ report
Found Out Donald Trump's Favorite Form of Self Defense

Krav MAGA

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/keefmastaflex
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2017
🚨︎ report
What did Donald Trump scream at his staffers calling in sick?

Fake Achoos!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xnoybis
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2018
🚨︎ report
What’s Donald Trump’s favourite Italian sauce?

Putin-esca

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tommiedineen
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2017
🚨︎ report
Donald Trump appoints Elon Musk to advisory council.

He was a Musk have.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bozzy253
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2016
🚨︎ report
When Donald Trump's doctor replied to him via email about a suspicious mark on his back, what did the subject line say?

Re: Cyst

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/halal_and_oates
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2017
🚨︎ report
Breaking news: Donald Trump got a dog and the gossip is that this dog keeps humping everything. He's horny...

Which is to be expected since he is a trump-pet.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/usedsurname
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2017
🚨︎ report
Which patriotic singing telegram service would Donald Trump hire for the White House?

Stares and Strips

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Possum
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2017
🚨︎ report
What would Donald Trump's pokemon team be?

Trick question, he only likes pokemon who didn't get captured

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/moronicuniform
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2017
🚨︎ report
Donald Trump: "Im not orange...

Im peach."

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/livinin82
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2017
🚨︎ report

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