My 9-year-old son Luke was forgetting to use his cutlery again at dinner.
So in my best Obi-Wan Kenobi voice I said, "Luke, use the fork!"
I got arrested for forgetting to take out my wallet before washing my pants.
I was charged with money laundering.
My son recently got casted as a sheep in a play but was nervous about forgetting his lines
I said "Son you're just feeling sheepish"
With the onset of age, I'm forgetting really simple things, like the fact that cheese is made from milk.
Previously it would've a curd to me.
“Doc, I think I have ADHD. I keep forgetting where I parked my Ford.”
Doctor: That’s not how ADHD works.
“But I keep losing my Focus!”
What do you call it when you keep forgetting things?
got fired from a newspaper company for forgetting important text.
My gf broke up with me because I kept forgetting her name.
But then again, who are you to tell me that?
Why did the farmer keep forgetting where he left his pigs?
He suffered from hamnesia.
I have a problem where i keep forgetting mental notes, so i came up with a solution.
If only I could remember what it was...
I watched a video of Bradley Cooper forgetting his lines on set
I guess you could call him Bradley Blooper
Civil engineer fired after forgetting how to design electricity-generating water barriers.
Everyone is talking about how ISIS is causing so much trouble in the Middle East, but what they're forgetting is that ISIS just frozen water
I used to go over to my grandmother's house in the middle of the night and drink earl grey with her. It was our ritual. I called this evening out of habit, forgetting she had passed away, and her ghost answered.
I guess you could call it a boo-tea call.
Whenever I give him grief for confusing or forgetting my friends' names...
"What'd you say Steve?"
(my name is not Steve)
Classic joke after forgetting something in the house.
Me: Bye dad, I'll see you in a few hours after I get home from the movies!
Dad: Bye!
me leaving and returning 5 seconds later because I forgot something such as my keys or gkasses
Dad: Wow, you're back so quick! That must have been a short movie!
I'll never forget the day I first met my wife. We were at a fancy dress party and she was stood there, looking gorgeous and slim, with her fat mate...
They'd gone together dressed as the number 10...
I knew there and then that she was the One!!
I had a joke about a grizzly in my car but i always forget the punch line ..
My wife tells me I have 2 major faults,
I don't listen - and something else.
Why do beginner artist always forget to draw the stick figure’s thumb when they draw a fist?
They forgot the punchline
A painter forgets to paint the trim a different color.
The home owner comes out and says “That’s all white.”
Don’t forget to tip the waitress
Why can't an elephant forget?
He has a trunk full of memories.
Why did the limping Donkey cross the road ?...Ahh forget it.
.. Sorry for such a lame Ass joke.
Don't forget your protective eyewear
Who does a Muslim ask when he forgets about the greatest Mughal Emperor?
I’ll never forget the last thing my late grandfather said to me.
I'll never forget my old man's last words before he kicked the bucket:
"Son, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"
I'll never forget when my dad told me, "Find yourself a girl with an embarrassing tattoo and try to convince her to marry you!” A little taken aback, I asked him what he meant. He explained...
“She knows how to make bad decisions and stick by them!"
What is that 1 memory that the computer will never forget?
This might be hard to get, but a Man walks into a tavern and..ahh forget it.
Dad: Hey, don’t forget— tomorrow is Father’s Day.
Me: Don’t forget its son day too.
My wife said, “Why did you forget to get all the stuff from the grocery store that I wrote down?”
I said, “When I got there, I felt.....listless.”
I tried to buy a Mortal Kombat soundtrack.
But all I could find were Finnish Hymms.
When God integrated Planet Earth, he didn’t forget his integral calculus lesson.
He remembered to add the sea.
Forget about "fake news"...
It should be called "infaux".
I packed my tent but there was a mistake
What is a ghost’s favourite meal?
I’ll never forget my 6th, 13th, 18th, 21st, 23rd, and 27th birthdays, they were great
Some of them were even prime!
Dad said to me "Do you ever go into a room and forget what you went in there for?"
Great dad, undistinguished fireman.
What do you call it when you forget where you put the bacon?
What did the the drummer call his twin daughters?
I hate it when I forget to turn off the toaster
I guess you can say I'm black toast intolerant
I almost missed my cake day!
That would have been real crumby.
Edit: thanks for the gifts! I’ve never felt so kneaded.
There are two reasons not to drink toilet water.
Number one. And number two.
What happens when the teacher forgets the magnets for science lab?
My father and I were leaving our hotel room in Iraq and he almost forgot his suitcase.
I said don’t forget your Baghdad.
I'll never forget my dad's last words...
Are you sure it's loaded with blanks?
Karl Marx is a historically famous philosopher, but no one mentions his sister
Onya, the inventor of the starting pistol
Don’t forget to tip your server
I have a Russian friend who is a sound technician.
And I have a Czech one too. A Czech one too.
I will never forget the last thing what my late grandfather told me.
I'll never forget the last thing my dad said to me before he kicked the bucket.......
He said: "Son, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"
I'll never forget the last thing my grandfather said before he kicked the bucket.
"Watch how far I can kick this bucket!!!:
I'll never forget the last words my grandpa said to me before he kicked the bucket..
He said, "Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"
I told my dad, “Don’t forget tomorrow is Mother’s Day!”
Dad : Don’t forget it’s son day too.
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