Do octopi have forearms?

No, they have eight arms.

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πŸ“…︎ May 05 2020
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The other day I walked into my son's room and found him with an open first aid kit, preparing to stitch up a cut on his forearm.

I told him to stop and that I would take him to the doctor for a more rofessional job. He told me he wanted to do it as he was working on his first aid merit badge for the boy scouts. So I said, "Suture self."

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/danno49
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2020
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forearm

me: I wish I had 4 arms!

Mom: You do.

me: No I have 2.

Mom: You have forearm's

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πŸ‘€︎ u/drvonchickenstien
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2019
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What did the forearm say to the phlebotomist, after being told they were such a great blood donor?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vexmix
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2019
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I have a large brown mole on my forearm - do I need to get it looked at?

http://imgur.com/gallery/vNoFX

πŸ‘︎ 155
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Socaddict
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2016
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No! You can't force me to shave my forearms!

I have a right to bear arms!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LordOfSun55
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2018
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They say humans only have two arms

That’s a myth; you have forearms.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LAUGHgan1stan
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2020
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Asked my son what his favourite thing about Popeye was.

He said, "Forearms."

I said, "No, he only has two."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2019
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It's better to amputate at the shoulder,

Its twice as much work to cut off forearms.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/samsw21
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2019
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Girlfriend paid me a compliment.

GF: I like your forearms.

Me: I only have two.

I had to explain it, but then she slapped her forehead. I know, she only has one.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shakynerves
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2014
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Did you know I'm an octopus?

I've got two forearms

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πŸ‘€︎ u/let_it_gogh
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2019
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Girlfriend was working on the motorcycle with me the other day...

She exclaimed "God! This is ridiculous. I need, like, four arms to do this!".

To which I replied "but honey, you DO have forearms!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zswickliffe
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2018
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Dadjoked while watching the news

Friday after work, just sitting down to dinner with my dad, the news is showing on the TV. A story comes on about body parts that were found in a river recently. The police are appealing to anyone who recognises a tattoo thats on the forearm close to the hand, to come forward and help the police with their investigation.

My dad turns to me with a huge grin on his face and says, "Well, I guess that's a pretty handy clue to have".

Nice work dad.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JanskiGG
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2015
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If only humans had...

My SO got me tonight as follows:

Me: We have too much to carry. If only people had evolved four arms. Wouldn't that be cool?

Her (with shit-eating grin): We do have forearms...

She then proceeds to display her arm to me Vanna-White-style.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jessegammons
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2016
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My sister was in a pretty bad car accident a few years ago

Hit head-on by a drunk driver, she broke her right wrist and forearm (compound fracture), and broke her right femur. The doctor came to talk to us after the surgery and told us she was okay. My dad asked, "will she be able to play the trumpet?" And the doctor assured us that she would make a full recovery and be able to play after the cast came off. To which my dad replies, "Wow, you're one hell of a doctor. All she could play before was the piano!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/omaha_shanks
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2013
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My proudest moment

The wife was holding 2 letters to hang on a wall, the son was holding 2 letters to hang on the wall. The wife asks the son to hold up all 4 letters on the wall to view the placement and the son says "Mom, I don't have four arms." In which I replied "But son, you DO have forearms!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ntgcleaner
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2017
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Someone asked if I would want to have 4 arms

I told them I already had forearms...

πŸ‘︎ 114
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lambbla000
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2015
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Cat-tastrophe

While petting my cat, she placed her paw over my arm, threatening to unsheathe the razor-sharp claws into my forearm. I turn to my dad. "Dad, she's holding me hostage with her paw." "Looks like she has paw-wer over you." Groans insue. Cat leaves.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bioman2222
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2015
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Four Arms

So me, my sister and dad were discussing about our weird dreams.

My sister was talking about the dream where she was a cat. She told us how real her tail felt and how useful it is to balance a cat's body when it runs. I then butted in with my dream.

Me: "In one of my dreams, I had four arms and it felt awkward at first but then I got used to it."

Dad: "But you already DO have forearms in real life."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LastKill
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2014
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Literal Puns are his forte.

So I walk into the kitchen and see my Dad grab a big knife to cut some vegetables. "Whoa Dad, thought you just drew a knife on me." He proceeds to grab a sharpie and draw a knife on my forearm, then continues his vegetable chopping.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CheshireCatXD
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2014
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Dad on the tennis.

So I'm watching the Australian Open with my friend and my dad. This is how the conversation went.

Friend: Have you noticed the trend of the top 4 tennis players all having a good forearm.

Dad: Yeah I have. Well we all know that the only thing that is better than a forearm is a fivearm.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WAAAHLuigi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2014
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