What is the difference between a radius and a diameter?

A radius.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/angrysandclock
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2021
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Do you know how to calculate the volume of a pizza with a radius of Z and a thickness of A?

Pi * Z * Z * A

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πŸ‘€︎ u/czeslavo
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2019
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I once had to find the circumference of a circle where the radius equaled "damn."

The circumference is TWO DAMN PI.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dgrubbnasty
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2018
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90% of the pumpkins in the USA are raised within a ninety mile radius of Peoria, Illinois. That's gourd to know.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ralph-Hinkley
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2016
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Using a compass to draw circles works great...

...but using a ruler? That is where I draw the line.

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2019
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Friend of mine at work won a fishing pole and tackle box at the Christmas party.

He drives a mustang and was trying to figure out how to get it in his car.

Friend: β€œHow do I get this thing in my car? It’s almost as tall as I am!”

Me: β€œGuess you’re just gonna have to angle it.”

Friend and everyone in a 30 foot radius: -groan and facepalm-

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Returningdarkness
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2019
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Math can also be funny
πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DriverUpdateSteam
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2018
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So my dad just emailed me this.

If you have a pizza with radius 'z' & height 'a', its volume is pi*z*z*a.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/harsh183
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2016
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Three little pigs

Once upon a time there were three little pigs, Pork Chop, Hambone, and Bacon.

The boys lived at home with their mother. One day their mother said, β€œI no longer have enough food to feed you boys, you need to go out on your own and find your fortunes.”

Not wanting to upset their mother they left the house together to seek their fortunes.

Several miles into their journey Bacon, the little pig everyone liked best, said, β€œLet’s build our houses here! This seems like a great place to start making our fortunes.”

Pork Chop and Hambone agreed. So they all began building their houses.

Pork Chop, the laziest of the bunch, decided to build his house out of straw, which he apparently stole from a nearby field. It was not a very sturdy building material, but Pork Chop didn’t care. All he wanted to do was play all day, and he didn’t want to spend too much time building.

Hambone was willing to work a bit harder and he decided to build his house out of sticks which he procured by de-limbing every tree within a 300 meter radius of their homestead.

Hambone and Pork Chop were happy. Now all they had to do was to play and sleep the rest of the day.

Now Bacon was a hard worker. He knew that his brothers had used bad materials and shoddy construction methods and he wanted to build the best house he could. He found several tons of bricks stacked in neatly ordered pallets in the forest which he decided to use for his building material. It took him several days, but when he was done Bacon had the best house on the homestead.

The next day a wolf, Scott Howard, happened upon the pig brothers and their new homestead. He spied the straw house and smelled Pork Chop inside and began to think to himself that Pork Chop would make a mighty fine meal, so Scott went and knocked on the door.

Scott said, β€œLittle Pig! Little Pig! Let me in!”

Pork Chop replied, β€œNo way JosΓ©! Not by the hairs on my chinny chin chin!”

Scott, undeterred by the reply says, β€œThen I’ll huff, and I’ll puff, and I’ll blow your crappy straw house to the ground!”

Scott began to huff and puff. He was evidently having some sort of asthma attack, but after a few tugs from his handy dandy rescue inhaler, he was able to muster enough wind to blow Pork Chops straw house to the ground.

Pork Chop narrowly escaped Scott’s massive jaws. Scared, and now homeless, Pork Chop ran for the nearest shelter he could see. Hambone’s house.

Scott, undeterred, chased Pork Chop to his new hiding place. Scott was very pleas

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RageMonster17
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2019
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Math

What do you get when you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by
its diameter?

Pumpkin Pi.

If a cylinder of mozzarella has a radius of z and a height of a what is it volume?

pi z z a

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tfowler11
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2019
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Math Problems (X-post r/tumblr)
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πŸ‘€︎ u/heyimhayley
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2013
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I turned an English paper into one giant pun.

A Call to Arms A Plead to the Limbless

The Armless are a stump among society and could easily achieve more. It’s bothersome that somebody with great potential could allow themselves to lose grip of what they aspire for. The radius of support and development that surrounds these people is astounding. Yet they bite the hand that feeds and throw away opportunities. With each passing day they are crippled by the errors in their ways. Not only are they not properly handling the situation, they are doing a disservice to society. Most will say to refrain from pointing fingers, but it is pertinent that we show them their faults.
All aside we should most certainly not try to elbow my way into their lives. However, if they were to branch off into their own progressive groups it would be most beneficial. And severance is a good thing between them and the public. This doesn't mean a complete amputation of them from society. Perhaps selective assistance will help these people find a well fitted sleeve within their communities. This process is difficult and lending a helping hand can make the difference. On the other hand, we have those who don’t try to succeed. Their negligence is worthy of more than a mere slap on the wrist. When somebody refuses to apply themselves, they are holding back progress. By giving themselves mental limitation they are creating a prosthetic disability they must abide by. The majority of working to achieve goals is believing you can reach out and grab them. But, somebody who gives up is cutting themselves short of success Seeing somebody give up is the furthest thing from being humerus. Urging these people is a necessity, otherwise they will never try their hardest, encourage them to use some elbow grease and put forth full effort. Any small contribution is better than being a detriment, community service, obtaining greater education, enlisting in the armed forces, these all benefit society. Drastic changes of this scale are sure to cause discontent, grab a tissue if need be, but never give up. For all those that are currently wasting away without contribution, it's time to limb’er up and take charge.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chewy_64
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2015
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A Student is in Math Class...

A student is in math class, and the teacher is explaining some basic geometry. The teacher says, "The relationship between a circle and its radius can be calculated by 'pi r squared'". The student raises his hand, confused. "That doesn't seem right, Ma'am." The teacher asks what he means, and he says "Pi r square? No, Pi r ROUND. Cake r square."

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hoofpint
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2016
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Got my first dad joke laugh

Feeding my 7 1/2 month old (meaning a full body experience for anyone in a 5' radius) she unexpectedly hit me in the face and then started giggling...

Me: Are you going to be the queen of slapstick comedy?

Her: Big toothless grin

Me: Because your slap was sticky

Her: HA! Giggle, giggle, giggle

Wife: HA! Dadjoke!

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/coachlasso
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2014
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Dadjoked the cashier at Wendy's

So after ordering my food, I am standing to the side waiting on my meal. The lady behind the counter looks at a few of us and says, "I'm tired." I couldn't resist the urge... I replied "Hi tired, I'm the Hash_Slingin_Slasha."
Queue simultaneous silent groan from everyone within a 20' radius.

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2014
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Dad joked my friend whose a programmer

If you program in Python, does that mean you're a parseltongue?

It got a good groan in a three cubicle radius.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2015
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Just because I'm a childless female doesn't mean I can't dad joke.

Background: My SO and I were at a flea market in LA the other day where there were food trucks scattered about. The one we chose to eat at specialized in grilled cheese (my favorite food). They had a sign saying they would cater special events... I asked how far of a radius they would travel. Cheese Griller: We actually have a few trucks between here and Texas. Me: None in North Carolina? Cheese Griller: Nope. Me: Well... are you looking for any francheesors?

SO immediately disowned me and walked away.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lliz
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2014
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"See that cemetary over there?"

My dad's favourite joke:

"See that cemetary over there? Did you know that nobody living within a 1 kilometer (mile) radius is allowed to be buried there!"

"But why dad?"

"Because it's illegal to bury people that are still living"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChickenWiddle
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2013
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