A list of puns related to "Distances"
Because the lion in the jungle is always a wimb away.
-Well spotted!
The obstetrician came to the bridge, squinted into the night and said:
"Congratulations, Captain. It's a buoy!"
They were so spaced-out.
She said "don't stand, don't stand so close to me"
Friend 2: So far, so good
BaDONKulars
We all drew near.
There must be some wild hogs in the area
It's a 5 minute walk from my house to the bar...
And a 45 minute walk from the bar to my house...
The difference is staggering!
Well, I'm drawing a line in the sand.
I smelt that sh!t a mile away!
VELOCIRAPTOR
-heehee physics jokes
I said there’s a long standing tradition in my family. She asked what is it? I said I just told you.
Definitely not as I'm driving on the highway.
Sauce: my dad.
vent later
It’s hit or miss.
Ricardio
So I bought her an alarm clock with a remote control.
Luckily, they had a power chord.
So the lion starts running towards the dog with menace but the dog notices this and starts to panic.
As he's about to run he sees some bones on the ground next to him, gets an idea and says loudly, "Mmm... That was some good lion meat!"
The lion screeches to a halt and says, "Woah! This guy seems tougher then he looks, I better leave while I can" and then runs away.
Over in a tree, is a monkey who sees everything and realizes the he can benefit from this situation by telling the lion what happened and getting something in return.
So the monkey finds the lion and tells him what really happened.
The lion says to the monkey angrily, "Get on my back, we'll get him together".
So the monkey climbs on the lion's back and they start rushing back to the dog.
The dog sees them, realizes what has happened and starts to panic even more.
But then he gets another idea and shouts, "Where is that monkey!?! I told him to bring me another lion an hour ago!"
When he makes it over to the tree, a robber steps out and points a gun at him.
The man says, "whoa, I just wanted some of the bacon from the bacon tree!"
The robber grunts and says, "This ain't no bacon tree. This is a hambush!"
Does that make it Mjol-far?
He said he didn't know, but he saw "-room", he didnt see the rest.
A collideoscope
Marathongs
She just drew one eyebrow too low and the other too high.
Son: "What are you doing?"
Dad: "I'm measuring your patience."
Turns out it was just a Nicki Mirage.
The winner is the first person to cross the Finnish line.
Fortunately, she was just calculating velocity.
A Joel
Albinoculars.
They were haulin' oats
I think she wants to calculate velocity.
Let's get the flock out of here.
It's not that far fetched.
I said “so far,so good”
With a polygon plane!
I've moved to London 2 years ago and he is still in Maryland. This was our google chat exchange just now:
Friend: Some days I miss you more than others. Today is one of those days :(
Me: awwwww... i miss you 100% every day
Friend: Is your aim that bad?
I specifically think General Lee
Marathongs
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