Dad went to a flower shop

Dad: Have you guys got any cut flowers?

Flower store employee: No, but we have potted flowers.

Dad: Ah, well do you have scissors?

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/QzBlaze
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
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Did you know robin hood owned a Flower shop?

It was called the Sherwood Florist

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Vapurware
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 23 2020
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I bet theyโ€™re better dancers too ๐Ÿ˜‚ a take on the song Pretty Fly for a White Guy. Found outside a local flower/plant shop OC
๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ShayButter420
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 15 2019
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I think I have just seen Michael J Fox in a flower shop.

I still can't be sure if it was him though.

He had his back to the Fuchsias.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/thewargingned
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 31 2019
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Hugh McScary, and no one else, was able to shut down a flower shop being ran by two belfry workers.

This comes to show that only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/rararasputin88
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 05 2019
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Some friars set up a flower shop

A pair of friars came up with the great idea to use the extra flowers scattered around the monastery to start a flower shop. After the first week, the new flower shop is bustling and quickly becomes the most popular flower shop in town. This upsets a fellow florist, John, because he is losing his business. John decides to go down to the docks and find someone to destroy the competition's flower shop. John ends up finding a large sailor by the name of Hugh. Hugh promptly goes and completely destroys the friars' flower shop, effectively putting the friars out of business. Once again proving that only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Debt-Profit
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 08 2015
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A guy asks a girl to go to a dance.

She agrees, and he decides to rent a suit. The rental has a long line, so he waits and waits, and finally, he gets his suit. Heย decides to buy flowers, so he goesย to the flower shop. The flower shopย has a long line, so he waits and waits, untilย he finally buys flowers. He picks up the girlย and they go to the dance. There is a long lineย into the dance, so they wait and wait. Finally,ย they get into the dance, and the guy offersย to get the girl a drink. She asks for punch,ย so he goes to the drink table, and there isย no punch line.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 51
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/LucianoMercuri__
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 24 2020
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A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom...

....First he goes to rent a tux, but thereโ€™s a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever.

Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and thereโ€™s a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers.

Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, thereโ€™s a large limo line at the rental office, but heโ€™s patient and gets the job done.

Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and thereโ€™s no punchline.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 12k
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/SledgeHog
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 25 2018
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Long joke ahead, but well worth it.

A while ago, there were some friars who needed to raise money, so they opened up a flower shop. Across the street, there was another flower shop that had already been open for a few years. Afraid of competition, the owner politely asked the friars to sell something else in heir shop. They refused. People liked the new flower shop better, so the first shopโ€™s profits started dropping. Concerned that he might go out of business, the owner of the first shop asked the friars to close their shop. They refused. Some time passed, and the first shop was on the verge of bankruptcy. Desperate, the owner begged the friars to close their shop. They refused again. Then, the owner of the first shop used the last of his money to hire a hit man named Hugh Williams to beat up the friars and trash their shop. He did, and when he was done, he told the friars heโ€™d be back if they didnโ€™t close down. Scared for their lives, the friars agreed, proving that Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent Florist Friars.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Paladin_of_Freedom
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 12 2019
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So a teen asks his crush to the prom, which she agrees to

On the day of the prom, he goes to pick up his suit. However, once he gets there, thereโ€™s a line, so he waits....and waits...and waits...

After he gets his suit, he goes to get her corsage. When he gets to the flower shop, however, thereโ€™s an even bigger line, so he waits...and he waits...and he waits...

Once he had the corsages, he made his way to her house, but the roads were packed so he had to wait in line for the turnoff. So he waited...and waited.

Finally, he reaches her house, picks her up, and drives her to prom. But thereโ€™s a line to get into the school, so they wait... and wait...

At last, they are in the prom and dancing away. After a while, they get thirsty. So they head for the refreshment table and.....

Thereโ€™s no punch line

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Strikercharge
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 28 2018
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Not sure if this fits here but I'll try

A guy wanted to ask a girl to prom.

He wanted to do it right and give her flowers so he went to the flower shop where there was a line.

So he had to wait, and wait, and wait, and wait, and wait.

He got the flowers, asked the girl, and she said yes. Then he had to get a tux for prom. So he went to the tux shop and there was a line.

So he had to wait, and wait, and wait, and wait, and wait.

Then he got his tux and it fit perfectly. He wanted to get the girl a corsage for prom. He went back to the flower shop and there was a line.

So he had to wait, and wait, and wait, and wait, and wait.

He got the corsage and gave it to the girl. Then they went to prom and there was a line at the door.

So they had to wait, and wait, and wait, and wait, and wait.

They got in and danced for some time. But all the dancing made them thirsty, so the guy decided to go get some punch.

He walked over to the punch bowl.

There was no punchline.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/SebastianClark13
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 15 2019
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My friend owns a mall (long)

I'm here today to tell you all a horrible story, so that none of you have to go through the same experience as my friend.

My friend, Hugh, is a very religious man, who is also involved in our community. 2 weeks ago, our local church burned down and Hugh believed it was his Christian duty to help them get back on their feet. Hugh allowed the friars of the church to set up a cart in his mall to sell their flowers. Every day, the friars came in at 7:00 in the morning with a bushel of beautiful flowers and began to work diligently to arrange them into bouquets. All was going well, the mall was generating more revenue and the church was making more money than they were by selling the flowers in front of the church on Sunday. Everyone was happy; until that first weekend.

Our town is kinda tourist-y, so we get some out-of-towners on the weekends. A gay couple came to the mall the first weekend that the friars had taken up shop (Typically, our town is pretty progressive, but the friars tended to be uber-conservative). The couple came over to the cart and admired the flowers; they tried to purchase a bouquet, but the friars refused to sell to them. The couple was outraged and went to see Hugh directly. They complained to him that the friars were being discriminatory, so Hugh promised to have a talk with the friars. When Hugh confronted the friars, they refused to sell to the couple on the grounds that โ€œthey were committing an atrocity in the eyes of the lord.โ€ The couple stormed off and promised to boycott the cart.

This past weekend, the couple came back with a large group and a letter from the mayor, saying that the friars had to sell to them, regardless of sexual preference. The friars stood firm and refused to sell to them, so the group started a protest. They brought in signs and started chanting around the cart. The friars continued to sell their flowers and Hugh allowed them to remain, so eventually the protest began to boycott the mall, rather than just the cart.

By today, the mall had lost 50% of its normal weekend revenue. The group sent a letter to Hugh saying that they could forgive him if he shut down the flower cart within the week. Hugh was pretty broken up, but he had no choice. To maintain his livelihood, he would have to kick the friars out of his store. He talked with the friars this morning and revoked their previous agreement. The friars had their cart packed and left by 7:30, to huge cheers from the community. The mall has been pretty norm

... keep reading on reddit โžก

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/st_pugsley
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 15 2016
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Fruits and veggies

Orange you glad I came up with these grape and un-beet-able puns? Cauliflower (call a flower) shop. In celebration! Itโ€™s just bananas, and will drive you coco and nuts!

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/jmiddleton6
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 02 2018
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Flower Power...

My wife and I were shopping and noticed the store had a bunch of fall flowers in pots out front.

My wife: "Oh look! They have mums! What size should I get?"

Me: "Well, my paycheck hasn't hit the bank yet, so we should probably keep our purchases to a mini-mum."

My wife: " ... "

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/grobmyer
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 17 2014
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A guy was going on a prom date...

So he went to the florists to get flowers, but cos everyone was having prom there was huge big line. So he waited and waited and eventually he bought some flowers, then he thought he should buy a suit. So went to the suit shop, but again there was a ginormous line, he waited for a couple of hours then finally got a suit. But he still needed a haircut so went to the barbers hoping there wasn't as long a line, but there it was stretching out the door for ages. Eventually he got his haircut and picked up his date for the prom. They got there and while there she asked him to get some punch so he walked over to the table and there was no punchline

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/wallaceross
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 05 2017
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These friars were behind on their belfry payments...

...so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/JButler22093
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 10 2018
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Dad Joke From One Dad To Another

I'm a dad, and I told my dad this, so I think it counts. It got a lot of groans, so I think it's great, if a bit long.


I once lived near a small, simple town where there lived named Hugh.

Hugh was a very smart man stricken with a series of personal tragedies earlier in his life. As a result, he moved to this small town and took a job in his local florist shop, relaxing the days away arranging flowers and trying not to think of times past. Hugh grew to love working there.

One day, a disaster struck the town. A small, single engine airplane crashed a block from Hugh's shop, killing those on the plane and setting fire to several buildings, both occupied and empty.

The impact ruptured a gas line, which ultimately exploded, creating a shock wave that caused part of the building next to the florist shop to collapse and trap several of Hugh's customers and co-workers inside. The situation was desperate, as the shop would be burned to the ground at any moment.

Acting quickly, Hugh located the gas main, shutting it down. Next, Hugh noticed a water storage tank nearby, and opened a release valve that suffocated the fire before it reached his beloved shop.

With the fire out, and the florist shop saved along with those trapped inside, Hugh was a hero. The town presented him with a plaque in honor of his courageous deeds. On this plaque was a detailed etching of a bear, and Hugh was touched because he loved bears. But it was the words etched beneath that truly touched him.

"Only Hugh could prevent florist fires."

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Primatebuddy
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 08 2015
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What do you call Cauliflower?

Went grocery shopping with my dad, in the produce section he holds up a cauliflower and asks

Dad: What is this?

Me: That's cauliflower, did you really not know that?

Dad: Oh, I've always called-it-flower

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Brandseller
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 27 2017
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Just pulled a reverse dadjoke.

My dad and I went to pick some burgers up at the butcher shop, and there were flowers outside that were placed inside of boots, like this. I said, "That guy must have had a pretty severe case of plantar fasciitis.". He just smiled and walked into the store.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/inferno845
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 06 2015
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A Nice Prom

A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but thereโ€™s a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and thereโ€™s a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers. Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, thereโ€™s a large limo line at the rental office, but heโ€™s patient and gets the job done. Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and thereโ€™s no punchline.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/StardustTurtle
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 30 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom.

First he goes to rent a tux, but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever.

Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there's a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers.

Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there's a large limo line at the rental office, but he's patient and gets the job done.

Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there's no punchline.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 84
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/cyburai
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 08 2013
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
You won't see this one coming

A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but thereโ€™s a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever.

Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and thereโ€™s a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers.

Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, thereโ€™s a large limo line at the rental office, but heโ€™s patient and gets the job done.

Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and thereโ€™s no punchline.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 72
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/mickig_
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 20 2013
๐Ÿšจ︎ report

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