Flow Out Puns

A psychiatrist asked his patient if he could remember one life changing moment that really stood out from any others.

He replied. "Why yes. I remember it like it was yesterday. I was running down the street with tears flowing from my eyes crying 'Its a boy, its a boy!' I made a concious decision that day to never visit another brothel in Thailand".

So my wife just got her breast pump all set up. She's got the double suckers rolling, tits out, milk flowing like a minor tributary. And I ASK "ARE YOU PUMPED?!" fucking genius.... She stared silently for like 10 seconds. Then told me to post here.

Hey guys so I want to ask a girl out to prom. I want to do a pun with the words using Queen of Flow something like that. Other words can be included,

-Chambeas -Chevre -Estamos Perdiendo El Tiempo

Mum was out shopping and calling Dad excitedly at some new bedding she'd found. "It's so us, it will help your back, and it looks so so so comfortable. Come on, we've not had new bedding in years. I've chosen this amazing bed, sheets that go perfectly with our room. There's a deal where they throw in extras, like a U shaped pillow and then......."

Dad cut her off mid-flow and shouted "OK! Do it! Let's get it!"

He relayed the conversation back to us and said he was really excited.

Weeks later when the bed finally arrived he stood watching her unwrap the parts. I was just outside the room. He waited for his cue and when she opened the U shaped pillow - boom - he hit it,

"It looks nothing like me!" He shouted.

He turned to me and winked "totally worth it" he grinned at me.

..............…

I was confused.

................

He said "when I heard about the U shaped pillow I was so sold on the joke I had to let her buy it all".

Yeah... Nice one dad........