I've noticed that my son gets angry whenever he's having a growth spurt.

He has thyroid rage.

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👤︎ u/bobskimo
📅︎ Oct 08 2020
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Before I got my growth spurt, my friends loved my dad jokes

But now they groan up.

👍︎ 8
👤︎ u/Max-Volume
📅︎ Jul 22 2019
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Today, we drove past Dairy Queen and my dad spurts out, "What is Homer Simpsons favorite blizzard?" "Cookie DOH!"
👍︎ 5
📅︎ May 26 2014
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Me own dad just out dad joked me.

We were discussing about things going on in America when he suddenly spurted this out.

"Soon, Trump can't get in the white house because it's for Biden."

👍︎ 3
👤︎ u/Shii-UwU
📅︎ Nov 07 2020
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I was just chillin by the pool on the 4th of July with my 11 yr old. I told him I got a little Sun...

And then you had a growth spurt.

It took him a few minutes...

👍︎ 4
👤︎ u/jvanzandd
📅︎ Jul 04 2020
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I made a speech at my sister's wedding.

it was very heartfelt, and had spurts of humour everyone could laugh along with.

Then I finished it with a toast to bread. So many groans. That's how I know they loved it

👍︎ 37
📅︎ Jun 30 2014
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Remembered one from when I was a teenager

I was in the back seat of the family car drinking a coke, when we hit a bump in the road and I coughed.

Coke spurts out of my nose. Carbonated beverages do not feel pleasant when they spurt out of your nose, and I screamed to my Dad in the front passenger seat what had happened.

"Well, what did you expect? You're supposed to snort Coke".

👍︎ 20
👤︎ u/ixplosiown
📅︎ Apr 23 2016
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Dad joked the wife tonight

Our newborn was crying for a while tonight and I suggested to my wife that she was having a growth spurt. My wife asked "how long is a growth spurt?" I said, "I don't know, maybe a quarter inch". She just groaned and told our kid that I'm not funny.

👍︎ 9
📅︎ Feb 18 2015
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