A list of puns related to "Squirt"
A piss-tol
Son: yeah and this year I will be in peewee Dad: so do they want you to play soccer or urinate?
It runs in your genes.
One day, his dad comes across him eating like this and says, "That do be sourdough"
I now have Heinzsight
I smiled and told him, "Hey, it's the cot that founts!"
In Heinz-sight, it was a bad idea.
but now I kinda like the little squirt.
him: ugh I wish you could squirt
me: wtf I donβt call out all your flaws so donβt call out my short cummings
With a silent βcrβ.
Well, because we named you after your Mom, squirt.
I have a bunch of stupid baseball questions. I know most of the rules, I just want to make sure I have all my bases covered.
Imagine thereβs a fan of the team that is currently fielding in the stands, and that said fan has a prosthetic arm. The batter hits a pitch and sends it on a home-run trajectory into the stands. If the fan in the stands throws his arm at the ball and diverts it back in the field of play, can they rightfully say that they were just βlending the team a handβ by stopping the home run?
Consider the exact opposite situation - the fanβs team is at bat and the batter hits a fly ball to the outfield. If Elastagirl from the Incredibles just happened to be the fan in question, can she spring into action and catch the ball before the outfielder has the chance to?
Now, imagine I smuggled a water gun into the stadium on a particularly hot day, and I managed to squirt sticky black liquid onto the batter. Does that mean he can take a walk since he was βhit by pitchβ?
Consider the freak circumstance where a ball in motion collides with a bird, causing it to spiral in its descent and eventually collide in turn with an umpire. Can the player responsible for the ballβs motion be ejected from the game due to repeatedly flipping the bird at an umpire?
Can a losing team sub out their man on the mound with a large quantity of beer to prolong the game? Thereβd still be a pitcher on the mound!
If a pitcher throws a slider into the strike zone and the batter doesnβt swing, should the umpire consider it a strike, a ball, or the catcherβs dinner?
βI donβt want to get up,β she replied. βWill you carry me?
βNo,β I replied. βGet up and go to bed.β
βBut Iβm too tired. Carry Me?β
βNo! Youβre like 90 pounds now. Youβre too heavy.β I said.
βWell then, pretend Iβm the kitten,β she said and grinned.
So I picked up the squirt bottle and sprayed her in the face.
My friend said he wanted the squirt gun that shoots jelly from the island of misfit toys. I told him it would probably jam a lot and asked him if it was standard issue for the US Army Preserves.
They didn't know what hit 'em until I squirted them with it!
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