I saw a sign in a shop window that said "Watch batteries fitted, Β£2.50."

I thought β€œWhy would anyone pay to see that?”

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_houser
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
🚨︎ report
I had a neck brace fitted years ago...

And I've never looked back since

Edit: spelling

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/liverpool135
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Have You Ever Tried to Fold a Fitted Sheet?

It's pointless.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Calicorpse
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Just fitted a new door lock

As I'm a key worker

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OneTwoOneSix
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the foetus have a Velux window fitted?

They wanted a womb with a view!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Stonefly_C
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2020
🚨︎ report
TIL: Amazon has come out with a new service where they will deliver custom fitted shirts to your home within 48 hours.

It’s called Tailor Swift.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2019
🚨︎ report
I went to a prosthetic doctor to get fitted for a left arm and leg.

When I went to pick them up, the doctor gave me a right arm and right leg instead.

Me: Hey doc! You gave me the wrong limbs!

Doctor: Nah, you're all right.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the man who had experimental plastic dentures fitted see the world differently?

Because he had new Perspex teeth!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/El_Moochio
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2017
🚨︎ report
What do you call a sheet set where the fitted sheet doesn’t match the flat sheet?

Fraternal twin sheets

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mjm077
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2018
🚨︎ report
Why didn't the emu like being fitted for new clothes?

Because they ostrichsized him.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cauger96
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2016
🚨︎ report
Vegetables and fitness puns

My kid's school is having a jogaton to raise money for the schools garden. I thought the kids would get a kick out of some funny motivational posters with vegetable/herbs/fruits puns. Please help me Reddit as I'm not nearly as creative as you.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mmmnmbop
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2015
🚨︎ report
I feel like this meme fits in here.
πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
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How do you fit an Elephant into a Safeway bag?

You take the β€˜S’ out of Safe and the β€˜F’ out of way!

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/neoblog
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
How did Noah fit 2 of every animal in a single boat ?

State-of-the-Ark technology

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Amart1985
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Γ€ fortunate fit
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ViIgot
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Friend saw this on ig and sent it to me, thought it fit here.
πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/voicedm
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Fitting
πŸ‘︎ 107
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xxDr-Beckyxx
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Made me cringe, figured it fits here /r/cyberpunkgame/comments…
πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/daddy1c3
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you know Cardi B has a sister who’s a fitness instructor?

Her name is Cardi O

πŸ‘︎ 62
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MsToothFairy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2020
🚨︎ report
It’s a little known fact that Gaius Julius Caesar suffered from epileptic fits.

Also known as a Julius Seizure.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vehiclesales
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
🚨︎ report
My dog started gnawing on something and immediately started having a sneezing fit

That's the last time I buy achoo toy.

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AADPS
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I've put on so much weight during Lockdown that my Sumo suit no longer fits me.

On the plus side, I no longer need a Sumo suit.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WhoElseButAlf
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Not mine but it might fit here. /r/Jokes/comments/k2mw84/…
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/maecky1
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
🚨︎ report
If you suffer from sneezing fits, DO NOT make an appointment with...

Dr. Pepper.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Unfussed
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
🚨︎ report
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LordVader1080
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report
This fits well here. /r/Jokes/comments/jx2icj/…
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Odinovic
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
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πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/smurph808
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
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My cousin is trying to fit the most elephants, geese and bulls ever in a vintage music shop.

He's breaking all sorts of records.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the sea captain that went in for a hat fitting at the local haberdashery during rough seas?

He was cap-sized.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SpartanMonkey
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?

A family photo

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/multiplefroggs
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
🚨︎ report
A man was enjoying his burger when someone broke the news to him that it was made out of 'Horse Meat'. Suddenly he went into a fit and started choking. Two hours upon rushing him to the hospital........

.......His condition is now known to be 'Stable'

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ball5deeper
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Hi! What do you call a physically fit grains farmer?

Shredded Wheat

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SonyTrinitrons
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a loose fitting dress on a cow?

>A MOO MOO!

<<Thanks folks! I'm here all week! Don't forget to tip your cows!>>

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/eat-rainbows
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
🚨︎ report
After checking the delivery tracking app, my wife yelled in a fit of rage, β€œnow my package isn’t coming for another 5 days!”

I replied, now you know how I feel.

πŸ‘︎ 296
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zion2199
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2020
🚨︎ report
How did women in the 16th century stay fit?

They worked their core-set

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/swaghettigod
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I've been doing a series of 'misinterpreted song lyrics', I think most of them would fit here...
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThoseAreHotdogs
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Planet Fit-Gnats?
πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OverSpeedClutch
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2020
🚨︎ report
I lost 15 pounds on my Wii Fit

It was the best trade-in deal I could find

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/danius353
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I think it fits in this subreddit
πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Edwardsama_702
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Does this fit?
πŸ‘︎ 68
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πŸ‘€︎ u/levzeppelin
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife watches a fitness tv show from Barbados

It's the Pilates of the Caribbean

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/speculatrix
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you combine a porcupine and a turtle?

A slowpoke!

*a friend of mine told me this and I thought it would fit well here

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wqiu_f1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2020
🚨︎ report
How many birds can fit in a cage at once

Toucan

πŸ‘︎ 66
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kittenbomer
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Definitely fits here /r/Showerthoughts/comment…
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mogulzns
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a fit Bison?

A buff-alo.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigfoothobbit
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Thought this would fit better here
πŸ‘︎ 67
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LatcuTM
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Taken from cursed comments, thought it might fit here
πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jacob_Young6138
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Nothing flashy
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kelly240361
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I've decided to quit my job as a personal trainer and I don't think I'm quite fit enough for the job.

Therefore I've handed in my 'Too Weak Notice'

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Why does the little mermaid wear seashells?

Because she couldn't fit into D shells

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Merscaliona
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
🚨︎ report
i had a neck brace fitted years ago...

i have never looked back

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ri0tt
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I had a neck brace fitted three years ago.

I haven’t looked back since.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/waddoheck
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2019
🚨︎ report
I had a neck brace fitted years ago.

I’ve never looked back since!

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MeepMeepMcMeep
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2019
🚨︎ report

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