I saw a sign in a shop window that said "Watch batteries fitted, Β£2.50."
I thought βWhy would anyone pay to see that?β
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︎ Nov 08 2020
I had a neck brace fitted years ago...
And I've never looked back since
Edit: spelling
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︎ Jul 11 2020
Have You Ever Tried to Fold a Fitted Sheet?
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︎ Mar 16 2020
Just fitted a new door lock
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︎ Apr 07 2020
Why did the foetus have a Velux window fitted?
They wanted a womb with a view!
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︎ Mar 05 2020
TIL: Amazon has come out with a new service where they will deliver custom fitted shirts to your home within 48 hours.
Itβs called Tailor Swift.
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︎ May 16 2019
I went to a prosthetic doctor to get fitted for a left arm and leg.
When I went to pick them up, the doctor gave me a right arm and right leg instead.
Me: Hey doc! You gave me the wrong limbs!
Doctor: Nah, you're all right.
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︎ Apr 24 2019
Why did the man who had experimental plastic dentures fitted see the world differently?
Because he had new Perspex teeth!
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︎ Jan 10 2017
What do you call a sheet set where the fitted sheet doesnβt match the flat sheet?
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︎ Feb 25 2018
Why didn't the emu like being fitted for new clothes?
Because they ostrichsized him.
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︎ Sep 29 2016
Vegetables and fitness puns
My kid's school is having a jogaton to raise money for the schools garden. I thought the kids would get a kick out of some funny motivational posters with vegetable/herbs/fruits puns. Please help me Reddit as I'm not nearly as creative as you.
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︎ Sep 30 2015
I feel like this meme fits in here.
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︎ Oct 27 2020
How do you fit an Elephant into a Safeway bag?
You take the βSβ out of Safe and the βFβ out of way!
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︎ Dec 06 2020
How did Noah fit 2 of every animal in a single boat ?
State-of-the-Ark technology
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︎ Dec 04 2020
Γ fortunate fit
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︎ Aug 14 2020
Friend saw this on ig and sent it to me, thought it fit here.
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︎ Nov 19 2020
Fitting
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︎ Oct 19 2020
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︎ Dec 16 2020
Did you know Cardi B has a sister whoβs a fitness instructor?
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︎ Oct 30 2020
Itβs a little known fact that Gaius Julius Caesar suffered from epileptic fits.
Also known as a Julius Seizure.
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︎ Nov 28 2020
My dog started gnawing on something and immediately started having a sneezing fit
That's the last time I buy achoo toy.
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︎ Nov 13 2020
I've put on so much weight during Lockdown that my Sumo suit no longer fits me.
On the plus side, I no longer need a Sumo suit.
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︎ Nov 13 2020
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︎ Nov 28 2020
If you suffer from sneezing fits, DO NOT make an appointment with...
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︎ Nov 20 2020
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︎ Nov 21 2020
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︎ Nov 20 2020
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︎ Nov 02 2020
My cousin is trying to fit the most elephants, geese and bulls ever in a vintage music shop.
He's breaking all sorts of records.
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︎ Nov 14 2020
Did you hear about the sea captain that went in for a hat fitting at the local haberdashery during rough seas?
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︎ Nov 12 2020
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
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︎ Oct 25 2020
A man was enjoying his burger when someone broke the news to him that it was made out of 'Horse Meat'. Suddenly he went into a fit and started choking. Two hours upon rushing him to the hospital........
.......His condition is now known to be 'Stable'
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︎ Oct 14 2020
Hi! What do you call a physically fit grains farmer?
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︎ Oct 30 2020
What do you call a loose fitting dress on a cow?
>A MOO MOO!
<<Thanks folks! I'm here all week! Don't forget to tip your cows!>>
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︎ Oct 02 2020
After checking the delivery tracking app, my wife yelled in a fit of rage, βnow my package isnβt coming for another 5 days!β
I replied, now you know how I feel.
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︎ Aug 02 2020
How did women in the 16th century stay fit?
They worked their core-set
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︎ Oct 13 2020
I've been doing a series of 'misinterpreted song lyrics', I think most of them would fit here...
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︎ Sep 23 2020
Planet Fit-Gnats?
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︎ Aug 31 2020
I lost 15 pounds on my Wii Fit
It was the best trade-in deal I could find
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︎ Sep 24 2020
I think it fits in this subreddit
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︎ Aug 14 2020
Does this fit?
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︎ Jul 21 2020
My wife watches a fitness tv show from Barbados
It's the Pilates of the Caribbean
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︎ Sep 12 2020
What do you get when you combine a porcupine and a turtle?
A slowpoke!
*a friend of mine told me this and I thought it would fit well here
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︎ Oct 10 2020
How many birds can fit in a cage at once
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︎ Jul 11 2020
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︎ Sep 12 2020
What do you call a fit Bison?
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︎ Aug 18 2020
Thought this would fit better here
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︎ Jul 08 2020
Taken from cursed comments, thought it might fit here
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︎ Jul 15 2020
Nothing flashy
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︎ Sep 02 2020
I've decided to quit my job as a personal trainer and I don't think I'm quite fit enough for the job.
Therefore I've handed in my 'Too Weak Notice'
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︎ Jul 09 2020
Why does the little mermaid wear seashells?
Because she couldn't fit into D shells
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︎ Dec 22 2020
i had a neck brace fitted years ago...
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︎ Feb 13 2020
I had a neck brace fitted three years ago.
I havenβt looked back since.
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︎ Aug 12 2019
I had a neck brace fitted years ago.
Iβve never looked back since!
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︎ Jul 10 2019
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