I was fiddling with my watch in bed today and it came off and fell on my face

It clocked me pretty good

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2019
🚨︎ report
What is the difference between a violin and a fiddle?

A violin has strings

A fiddle has strangs

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/I_eat_unwiped_ass
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2021
🚨︎ report
The worst hotel I've ever stayed in was called "The Fiddle".

It was a vile inn.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Degtyrev
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2021
🚨︎ report
Played us like a fiddle
πŸ‘︎ 288
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Chaotix_OzOne
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2019
🚨︎ report
My orchestra buddy wanted to bring his fiddle to a protest. I told him not to.

In a peaceful protest, there's no need for violins.

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/-taco-rice-
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2020
🚨︎ report
The local bar is called The Fiddle,

but I never drink there. It’s a vile inn.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2020
🚨︎ report
My College Internship Almost Ruined My Life

I'm quite the music history buff- always have been. My first inkling as a college student was to explore turning this into a career. So I found a music museum, wrote an impassioned essay, and somehow landed the 12-week internship.

When I got there, I met the curator, a woman named Rhonda. Like me, she had grown up enjoying music and always wanting to know more. Thanks to grants and donors' generosity, she had helped continue the museum's legacy of showcasing what might otherwise be lost to history.

The tradition of the museum had always been to let the interns work in the orchestral wing. My assignment in particular was the string section.

Now I didn't know a whole lot about the string family, but I saw some really fine specimens and decided we could perhaps tell a broader story about the progression of the instruments. And so I began studying.

After about a week of studying, I went to Rhonda and asked if we could do something different here. She was very receptive to the idea and introduced me to her assistant, Dr. Will. His PhD was in history, natch, but he still relished having everyone call him Doctor. It was funny.

Dr. Will helped me learn so much about how the family of instruments developed over time, their overall cultural footprint, etc.

Did you know a fiddle and a violin are the same thing? Did you know the viola family dates back to the 16th C.? Vivaldi wrote 25 cello concertos!

I dazzled visitors with tales of the Stradivarius, Amati and Guarneri families. I noted the increase in neck length over time. I reassured them that despite the name catgut, no cat intestines were used in the creation of these instrumentsβ€”but it sure might be sheep or goat.

Sadly, 12 weeks goes by quickly when you're having fun, and I got enthusiastic letters of recommendation from Rhonda and Dr. Will, and I do miss them. Hello, you two.

I figured I could waltz (sorry) right in to more museum jobs later, but boy, was I mistaken.

I kept interviewing for the job, but after about the 10th cold shoulder, I had to find out what I was doing wrong. I had done such a good job, after all, right??????

So I fucking called the museum

got the guy who interviewed me on the lineβ€”and he wasn't thrilled to even talk to me. But I asked him, sir, why didn't I even get a call back? Weren't my qualifications good?

He said, yes, BUT.......

"...we simply can't hire someone who has exhibited a history of violins."

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/yungcfa
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2021
🚨︎ report
Have you heard of the Fiddle Tavern?

It's also called the Vile Inn.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tungur_Knivur2020
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Some well considered puns

From an email my cousin sent me:

I wanted to be a monk but I never got the chants.

I was kidnapped by mimes, they did unspeakable things to me.

The finest shoes are made of smooth leather, my opinion will never be suede.

A perfectionist walked into a bar - apparently it wasn't set high enough.

Man injured in bizarre peek-a-boo accident! He's in ICU.

Went to this horrible bar called "The Fiddle" ... it really was a vile inn.

To the thief who stole my glasses, I will find you - I have contacts.

If any of you knows how to fix hinges my door is always open.

Police car loses wheels to thief! Cops are working tirelessly to nab suspect.

Cold? Go stand in the corner, it's 90 degrees.

If your guy doesn't appreciate fresh fruit puns let that mango.

A few puns make me numb but math puns make me number.

My friend was explaining electricity and I was like "Watt"?

Someone threw a jar of mayo at me, I was like "What the hellman?"

Where did the Terminator find toilet paper? Aisle B, back.

Due to the quarantine I'll only be doing inside jokes.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Eli_Truax
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2021
🚨︎ report
I made a fiddle from a squash yesterday...

... i think it's broken, it only plays gourd vibrations.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/large__father
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2019
🚨︎ report
A dad picks up a leaf and fiddles with it until his daughter finally asked "what are you doing?"

Dad: "Turning over a new leaf."

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/afarris5
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2019
🚨︎ report
The Cuban main violinist's string snapped during a performance. Luckily, he got offered another violin by his American friend.

That day, another Fiddle Catastrophe was prevented.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_CockLord
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2021
🚨︎ report
Are these fiddles or violins?

They're fiddles. Violins is never the answer.

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nickvolf
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2016
🚨︎ report
Someone once asked if I ever played the violin

I told him that I had fiddled with it

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Darhkling
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the cow jump over the moon?

The cat played the fiddle terribly and the cow wanted to get away from it.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VegetarianReaper
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
🚨︎ report
The police came to arrest me after I tried to play my cat like a violin

They are charging me with Kitty Fiddling

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ChaosBadger777
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
🚨︎ report
The long game

So a bus conductor in America was doing his job one day, happily printing and checking tickets all day long, enjoying the country views and feeling good about life.

A young lad gets on, chewing gum and being as loud and rude as all teenage lads are. There’s no-one else on the bus, so the conductor takes his ticket machine and bops the lad over the head, killing him. As expected, the Police arrest him. He goes through the legal process, a trial and admits his guilt, however the judge decides that they’re making an example of him and give him the sentence of death by the electric chair.

On Death row, he requests 5lbs of bananas for his last meal, which is duly brought and consumed. As he finishes, the guards arrive to escort him to the chair. As the executioner flicks the switch, nothing happens. All of the equipment is checked and works, but has no effect on the bus conductor. Under the law, this counts as a reprieve and he is released.

He gets his job back and puts the whole incident behind him. Until one day, a little old lady gets on the bus and starts to pay for a ticket in one cent coins. After about 10 minutes of fiddling with change, the conductor runs out of patience and bops the old lady on the head, killing her. As expected, the Police arrest him. He goes through the legal process, a trial and admits his guilt, however the judge decides that they’re making an example of him and give him the sentence of death by the electric chair.

On Death row, he requests 5lbs of bananas for his last meal, which is duly brought and consumed. As he finishes, the guards arrive to escort him to the chair. As the executioner flicks the switch, nothing happens. All of the equipment is checked and works, but has no effect on the bus conductor. Under the law, this counts as a reprieve and he is released.

After getting his job back again, life seems to go well for the conductor, until one day a young lady gets on the bus, casually putting her feet on the seat opposite. By now, the conductor is a little less lenient than in years gone by, so he takes his ticket machine and bops her over the head with it, killing her. As expected, the Police arrest him. He goes through the legal process, a trial and admits his guilt, however the judge decides that they’re making an example of him and give him the sentence of death by the electric chair.

On Death row, he requests 5lbs of bananas for his last meal, which is duly brought and consumed. As he finishes, the guards ar

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BloodAngel1982
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2018
🚨︎ report
In the song β€œThe devil went down to Georgia”, what did the devil give Johnny?

A u-seless fiddle (sorry if you haven’t heard the song, check it out, is lovely).

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2019
🚨︎ report
The violinist always seemed to have problems with his instrument.

Since he was constantly fiddling with it.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/stereocup
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2018
🚨︎ report
My Hotel Experience

I was once staying at a hotel which had two lifts, one for the bottom half and one for the top. I was intrigued with the system and asked the manager about it, his response was a fairly terse one "no funny business here, take the lift like anyone else would" he said strictly.

During my stay I needed to get to the higher section of the building, leading me to use the top lift. However when I came to move it, it took quite the effort and persuasion to get it to shift. Once I'd fiddled around and pushed a few more buttons it slowly made it's way up.

It was at this point I realised the manager simply had a stiff upper lift.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CamelSandwich
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2016
🚨︎ report
My soon-to-be 6year old got me Good

So every night for the past almost 6 years I sing her the Sunshine Song

You know, "you are my Sunshine, my only sunshine."

And after a few years I got tired of it and would start songs from the nightmare before Christmas (because I'm a big elfman nerd) and Part of your world (because I'm completely obsessed with singing out of key chick verses and the little mermaid is dope af) but she would SCREAM anytime I started anything that wasn't the Sunshine song, I love this, so I go on for a couple bars while she's screaming then calm her down and sing the right song. To be fair, she likes the I'm On The Outside by boingo, so I belt that too. Although it's only acceptable in the car.

Now here I want to add that in the description of the event I will place a * where she interrupts me and the words immediately after that * will be her words.

Ok, so she's in bed just now and I said What song do you want me to sing?

Obvs sunshine dude.

So I start with the "look at this stuff, isn't it neat?"

And she's not screaming, she has a smile on her face so my mind is like "did she become ok with this, can I finally sing a different song than sunshine and eponas song?" So I keep going thinking that I finally won.

I get to the line, "Fliiping your fins, you won't get too **fart!"

I'm fucking dead this kid played me like a fiddle.

Someone call 911 I'm ded

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/juksayer
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2018
🚨︎ report
I need to think of a good pun for a club!

So originally the club was named "Fiddle Club" but the students wanted to change the name. Basically, it's a club where you play musics with violins. Because I love puns, I'm asking you (redditors) to think of a creative, original, good pun-used title for the club. My 2 horrible puns are (that are never going to get picked) are: Fiddle Castro and What's with the violins (violence, violins hahaha).

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/potatoing
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2013
🚨︎ report
Is Michael Giacchino the greatest Star Trek Dad Joker in the world?

He must have it in his Genes.

But seriously check out his Star Trek track listings. The guy loves a good pun.

Star Trek

  1. Star Trek

  2. Nailin' The Kelvin

  3. Labor Of Love

  4. Hella Bar Talk

  5. Enterprising Young Men

  6. Nero Sighted

  7. Nice To Meld You

  8. Run And Shoot Offense

  9. Does It Still McFly?

  10. Nero Death Experience

  11. Nero Fiddles, Narada Burns

  12. Back From Black

  13. That New Car Smell

  14. To Boldly Go

  15. End Credits

Star Trek Into Darkness

  1. Logos / Pranking The Natives

  2. Spock Drops, Kirk Jumps

  3. Sub Prime Directive

  4. London Calling

  5. Meld-Merized

  6. The Kronos Wartet

  7. Brigadoom

  8. Ship To Ship

  9. Earthbound And Down

  10. Warp Core Values

  11. Buying The Space Farm

  12. The San Fran Hustle

  13. Kirk Enterprises

  14. Star Trek Main Theme

Star Trek Beyond

  1. Logo and Prosper

  2. Thank Your Lucky Star Date

  3. Night on the Yorktown

  4. The Dance of the Nebula

  5. A Swarm Reception

  6. Hitting the Saucer a Little Hard

  7. Jaylah Damage

  8. In Artifacts as in Life

  9. Franklin, My Dear

  10. A Lesson in Vulcan Mineralogy

  11. MotorCycles of Relief

  12. Mocking Jaylah

  13. Crash Decisions

  14. Krall-y Krall-y Oxen Free

  15. Shutdown Happens

  16. Cater-Krall in Zero G

  17. Par-tay for the Course

  18. Star Trek Main Theme

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thegeneral400
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2018
🚨︎ report
So, my dad's driving a rental car...

Normally, my dad drives a more luxurious car, but he's rented some model of Toyota since one of the tires on his car is blown out. My brother and I are sitting in the back and as he's fiddling with the buttons, my brother says,

"Hey, dad, where are the buttons for the heated seats?"

To which my father sharply replies, "They're in the Jaguar."

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/QuiteRadical
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2014
🚨︎ report
A Dadjoke from a nice old man.

So I was eating lunch with some friends when a security guard entered and walked up to our table. The following conversation ensued. [As accurate as I can remember] >Him: How's it going?

>Us: Uh... good?

>Him: That's nice, I noticed you guys were sort of making bird sounds, as a matter of a fact, I studied bird calls in college!

At this point he rambled on for a few minutes about how he could do any bird call we could name, so we asked him to do the robin.

> Him: Fiddles with hands for a few seconds like you would do a normal bird call, Then to our surprise shouts out "Here Robin!, Here Robin!"

Needless to say, he got us pretty well.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SherlockedWhovian
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2013
🚨︎ report
My dad and brother teamed up!

I'm home for the holidays so I was lying down in my room when suddenly my brother and father burst in! My brother is holding a tape measure.

They say "Hey, check out this new physics we've invented!" while my brother fiddles with the tape measure.

I looked up and with a mixture of horror and resignation I asked "What?"

"It's the principle of BELLYTIVITY!" while stretching the tape measure between their belly buttons.

Cackling they both ran out of the room.

I'm stuck here for five more weeks. I don't think I'm gonna make it.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Eschaton
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2013
🚨︎ report
The worst pub I’ve ever been in was called The Fiddle.

It was a vile inn.

πŸ‘︎ 619
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Brucemoose1
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2020
🚨︎ report
The worst hotel I’ve ever stayed in was called The Fiddle.

It was a vile inn.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MGreenMN
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2021
🚨︎ report
The worst pub I’ve ever been in was called The Fiddle.

It was a vile inn.

πŸ‘︎ 39
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/the_houser
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
🚨︎ report
The worst pub I've ever been to was called The Fiddle

It was a vile inn

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RocketButtMonkey
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
🚨︎ report
The worst hotel I ever stayed at was called β€˜The Fiddle’

It was a vile inn

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JoshPlaysUltimate
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between a violin and a fiddle?

One has strings and the other has strangs.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/grizwld
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2020
🚨︎ report
The worst pub I've ever been in was called "The Fiddle"

It really was a vile Inn.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dadjokesig
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2018
🚨︎ report
The Cuban main violinist's string snapped during a performance. Luckily, he got offered another violin by his American friend.

That day, another Fiddle Catastrophe was prevented.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_CockLord
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2021
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.