The internet connection in my farm is really sketchy, so I moved the modem to the barn.
How do you get a farm girl to like you?
I took a job as the head of Old McDonald's Farm.
Why did the wind make fart noises on the fruit farm?
It was blowing raspberries
There's this grumpy cow at a farm I visited
You could say that she's a little moo-dy
Two windmills are standing in a wind farm
One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
Farm machinery nerd
Man who has been going to the same bar for years tells his drinking buddies that he has decided to travel the world to view every farm tractor ever made.
They all know his love for farm machinery and are quite relieved to be getting rid of him as he bores them half to death with his knowledge of tractors.
5 years later the man goes back to the bar after traveling the world seeing every tractor he could find.
The barman looks at him and enquires as to why he looks so glum after achieving his life ambition,
He explains that seeing every tractor has taken the shine off his hobby and he doesn't want or need to see anymore tractors.
Just then there's a loud bang and the bar starts filling with smoke.
Everyone is panicking except our man back from his travels who tells everyone to not panic and stand back, he then inhales all the smoke walks outside and blows all the smoke away.
His buddies are amazed and ask how he managed to do this amazing feat,
He explains.
Simple
I'm
An
Ex tractor fan.
I got let go from the dairy farm.
Apparently I don't work well with udders.
I just got a load of soil delivered to my farm and it's a bit dodgy.
You could say the plot thickens....
Whenever we visited my Grampa's dairy farm, there'd be mud and cowpats everywhere, and my Dad would say, "I love dairy farms! Look at the dairy barn, and the dairy cows, and...
"Smell that sweet Dairy Air!"
If the joke's unclear:>!"dairy air" sounds like "derriere"!<
On my farm, we have a tradition. Every year, we dedicate a day to collecting hay, drinking alcohol and having fun.
I guess you could say that it's our hay day.
Why did the city slicker turn up his nose when he visited the milk farm?
He couldn’t stand the smell of the dairy air.
What kind of animals do gen Z have on their farms?
How do you call the speed bumps in the farm?
I’m trying to grow auto parts on my farm.
I’m expecting a bumper crop.
She seems to be having a field day out there.
What is the name of farm owned by a vegan lesbian couple?
Did you hear of the film where a woodcutting cult on a small farm in the south?
It's called the Texas Chainsaw Mass-acre.
There were 30 cows and 28 chicken. How many didn't?
My family used to own a farm with prize winning animals
The cows were udderly awesome.
Because of his enormous debt, Old McDonald has to sell his farm.
To cover what he e-i-e-i owes.
Ever thought about farming?
You too, could be out standing in your field!
One time on a road trip we drove through Iowa and stopped at a farm around harvest time. I tried to speak to the farmer about buying some fresh corn 🌽 but he had no time for me.
“Sorry, mister,” he said. “I’m up to my ears in work.”
I thought this book I've just bought about farming would be a nice simple read..
But it's full of words I've never even herbivore.
Swiper went swiping at a farm and mistakenly stole the farmer’s daughter.
He thought she was a Dora bull.
What do you call a farm that tells bad jokes?
What do you call a lizard that farms whale food?
My farm implements have been stolen. I was distractored.
I was thinking of making an investment on a new farming venture that feeds marijuana to cows instead of grass.
The steaks will be too high for sure.
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a farm?
My friend got fired from his job at the dairy farm because of his erratic behaviour.
He was a danger to himself and udders.
My father died and requested to be buried at a specific farm.
He always told us one day he'd be a dead beet Dad.
I visited a sheep farm last week.
Used to never be able to use the wifi at my farm until I moved my router to the barn.
Now I have a stable connection.
I laughed until the cows came home…
Driving through the country side we saw a bunch of cows walking up a big hill on a farm.
I said “they hate walking up those hills… but they’ll have strong calves!”
<bows>
I took that job as the head of Old McDonald’s farm.
I became the head of Old McDonald Farm.
Do you know how to get a farm girl to like you?
Two wind turbines are standing in a wind farm..one turns to the other and says “what’s your favorite kind of music?”
He replied “I’m a big metal fan!”
How do you get a farm girl to marry you?
The internet connection in my farm is really sketchy, so I moved the modem to the barn.
How do you get a farm girl to marry you?
What do you call the boss at Old McDonald's Farm ?
The internet connection in my farm is really sketchy, so I moved the modem to the barn.
I never thought The Bumper Book of Farming would be such a difficult bedtime read.
But it's full of words I've never even herbivore.
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