No more clowning around
I have two favorite titles that are extremely clever puns.
“Shawn the Sheep” “Dexter”
“Shawn the Sheep” is a sly play on the dialect of the characters in the animation. “Shawn” and “shorn” have the same pronunciation in the dialect of the outskirts of Bristol, UK.
“Dexter” is a wonderful Latin pun. “Dexter” is the word for “right” and “Sinister” is the implied compliment, the word for “left” in Latin. Dexter is a series about a serial killer who only murders those guilty of crimes. His name in Latin implies he is the opposite of sinister, right or just.
Because they're Fungi's
He appreciated the jester
Family feudalism
It was quite the shindig
I went to play station 5
It's going tits up.
With dad yokes
Live stream.
but were created for educational porpoises.
They were bored out of their gourd.
I can't wait to put E.I.E.I.O. on my resume!
They do their best to navigate that maize.
But upon further consideration he was gladiator.
My whole life I’ve been making sure it didn’t leave.
Papa, "What colour is it?"
3 yr old, "Blue."
Papa, "Where did you see it last?"
3 yr old: "In my hand."
Endless entertainment!
Edit: formatting
Arrrrr rated films.
That's what I do when I get board...
She said “what are you doing? What is that noise?” I said “I’ve been screwing around behind your back.” She whipped around in shock and saw me, screwdriver in hand, screwing in the outlet cover.
I found it way more entertaining then she did.
A number of years ago I was in a rock band. We were hugely successful, playing some of the biggest venues and entertaining swarms of fans.
The last shoes we ever played were on our world tour. We played the Americas and then flew over to Europe. We played our way through Russia and even a couple of gigs in China, before selling out our final show in Japan.
It was a hell of a Journey, but it was time for me to hang up my guitar. I retired from the rock star life and got an office job in Tokyo.
I made a few friends at work, and grew close with one in particular, Narada-san. One day Narada had the day off for a funeral, but that wasn't enough; he needed more time. He was torn between his obligation to return to work and his desire to have more time at home. He asked me what he should do.
The answer was simple. I picked up my guitar and played a Japanese version of our biggest hit from 1981:
Don't Stop Bereaving
This joke and an anti vaxxer.
i said BET
1: it has to be a CompSci engineer, judging by the brain’s complexity
2: you’re wrong, it was a Mechanics engineer, look at the muscle and skeleton systems working as one
3: you’re both wrong, it was an Urban Planner, otherwise waste and entertainment areas wouldn’t be adjacent.
Why is corn the best audience?
They are all ears.
*elevator music intensifies
As a professional children's entertainer, finding the dad jokes thread has been a real blessing. I work mainly with children between the ages of four and eight, and, for obvious reasons, I need to keep my jokes clean. In my business, a groan is just as good as the laugh because it usually is accompanied by a smile!
I'm afraid I don't know who started it, but the "this paper says otherwise" is easily one of my favorites. I took the liberty of having 500 business cards that say "otherwise" on them. I use them in my performances in a variety of ways. If I see a dad after my show who looks like the type who might enjoy a good pun, I will go up to him and ask him if he thought the show was good. Inevitably he will say yes, and I'll tell him that "Unfortunately this card says otherwise." I then leave the dad with the card to use at his own behest.
Just wanted to give a big shout out and a big thank you to the Dad jokes community for inspiration. People ask me what I do for a living and I tell them I'm the Jimmy Fallon to five-year-olds. Thanks so much for contributing all you guys do!
But James May
I Binged and purged.
https://imgur.com/gallery/0zVBc
Amuesli.
A sauce of endless entertainment.
..and I said "this is Strange.."
