I was in Russia listening to a stand-up comedian making fun of Putin.
The jokes weren’t that good, but I liked the execution.
I have a pet frog who's an aspiring comedian. I asked where he gets his best jokes from...
All he would say on the matter was "Reddit"
Did you hear about the failed comedian who became a poet?
He went from bad to verse!
My son told me he wants to become a comedian
I told him to stop joking
What’s the difference between a lousy trashy stand up comedian, and a father making jokes about pens?
One is bad at telling dick jokes, the other is dad at telling Bic jokes.
I tried to become a stand up comedian, but it turns out that I am more of a "sit down" comedian.
After every joke I told, someone kept yelling "sit down"!
What kind of jokes do quarantined comedians tell?
Inside jokes.
(Adapted from WFAN host Steve Somers while talking to Jerry Seinfeld today on the air)
If a Priest becomes a standup comedian
Will Father be cracking dad jokes then?
Why should a poor person never become a comedian?
Because their jokes don’t make any cents
What do you call a comedian who isn't funny?
Why do mountains make good comedians?
Because they're hill areas...
My friend, who's an aspiring comedian, asked me if I thought his jokes were too plain...
I answered: "Quite the opposite. I think they're hill areas."
What does a Hawaiian comedian put on a sunburn?
What do comedians like to read?
Why do comedians love cardiologists ?
Because they laugh heartily.
DEAD YET ?
Who is the favourite comedian of a masochist?
I thought about being a comedian instead of a mailman, but it didn't work out
My delivery was terrible.
I gave a bored king a comedian to try to entertain him
He appreciated the jester
Our plumber moonlights as a stand-up comedian.
He's a terrible plumber, but he really cracks me up.
Why are woodpecker standup comedians so annoying?
They can't stop telling knock-knock jokes.
Why don't comedians have much trouble eating?
Because everything they do in-jest!
Why did the squirell think he was a comedian?
Because he could tell acorny joke
what do you call a comedian that's not good or bad?
As a comedian, I tell jokes about the unemployed.
Unfortunately, none of them work.
I sure got a kick out of seeing the comedian perform.
I would have preferred a handshake, though.
Shush I'm watching the comedian
Oh wait i mean the president
Creds to my dad for that joke
What did the cannibalistic comedian say when the audience was hard to eat?
As a blind comedian, I have been trying to understand my audience.
Why did the flatbread become a clean comedian?
He wanted to be naan-offensive.
As a comedian I make good jokes sometimes
They LAUGHED at me when I said I wanted to be a comedian...
but no one's laughing now...
I want to be a comedian
But people just laughed at me
What’s the collective noun for a group of Japanese calligraphy comedians?
Say what you want about carrot top, but fact of the matter is he’s out there making a living as a comedian
You gotta give him props for that
Did you hear about the comedian who fell through some floor boards?
He was just going through a stage
Where do all the comedians in Japan live?
What do you call a comedian who can’t remember the punchline
Idk I’m the one who’s asking
Did you hear about the ophthalmologist who was also a comedian?
His jokes are pretty cornea.
I just realized they can't ever make a movie about a male scandanavian Transformer who works as a stand-up comedian.
They'd be guilty of vehicle Lars mans laughter.
Why wasn’t the sphere a comedian?
I used to date a comedian. I have nothing bad to say about her...
Last night, there was such an amazing stand-up comedian at the party that we decided to raise our glasses filled with alcohol to praise him.
Apparently a bunch of comedians are making their own beer at the local pub.
I don't know, sounds like a big brewhaha to me.
What happened to the cobra comedian when it bombed on stage?
I met an annoying squid who wanted to become a comedian.
He wouldn’t stop kraken jokes.
I was in Russia listening to a stand-up comedian making fun of Putin.
The jokes weren't that good ,but I liked the execution
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