DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.

MOM: Oh my! Who!?

DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?

MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????

DAD: No, it was with a knife...

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iaxeuanswerme
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04
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Did you hear that one actress was stabbed? Reese something?

Wife: Witherspoon?
Me: No, with a knife.

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Beard_on
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01
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A hot actress tried out for my play. She spoke the archaic version of "your" beautifully...

She had nice "thy"s.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30
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Who is Goofy's favorite actress ?

Selma Hyuck

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31
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What do you call a devout Catholic American Actress?

Marilyn Nunroe

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/StevenJF
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07
🚨︎ report
Dad: I was just listening to the radio, a famous actress killed herself!

Mom: oh no! Who?

Dad: Um, I can remember! I think her name was Reese or something.

Mom: WHITHERSPOON?

Dad: No, it was with a knife.

πŸ‘︎ 61
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πŸ‘€︎ u/funnychicka
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2019
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Dad: i was listening to the radio it says some actress killed her self

Me: OMG WHO Dad: i dunno reese somthing Me: WITHERSPOON Dad: no with a knife

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jj121jj
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2019
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What do you get when you cross a famous Hollywood actress with a meta punchline?

Natalie Portmanteau

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lukiiiiii
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2019
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What do you call an actress that accidentally leaned on a barbecue?

Audrey Hipburn.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2019
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Sister: Did you hear about that actress who stabbed someone? Reese something or other?

Me: Witherspoon?

Sister: No! With a knife!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/takesnosides
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2018
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How many shrimp does it take to make a famous actress?

Cameron Diez.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HirosProtagonist
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2019
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The conceited actress was given a fancy trailer and liked to show off her dressing table

Her full vanity was on display

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2018
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Did you hear about the actress that stabbed her husband with a fork?

Joke teller: β€œit was Reese... ohh what was her name..Reese..”

Person: β€œWitherspoon?!”

Joke teller: β€œNo I just told you it was with her fork!”

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bayouraised
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2018
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Who is the pastry chef's favorite actress?

Jennifer Cannoli

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zeeeman
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2018
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I read a famous actress is very excited to star as a pregnant woman in a motion picture

Personally I think she's just ovary acting.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/stanfan114
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2018
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I decided to sketch an actress, so I ...

... Drew Barrymore.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tqgibtngo
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2018
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Did you hear about that actress who got stabbed last night? Reese something....

"witherspoon?" "No, with a knife!"

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubeykeebler
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2018
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I heard that actress Reese whatshername is in rehab because she is addicted to eating soup...

Witherspoon?

Dad: I assume so, but nobody knows for sure

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Beedee0823
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2017
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Me: Did you hear about that actress getting stabbed to death last night? What's her name, Reese something or other?

Wife: Witherspoon? Me: No, with a knife.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gunzerks
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2017
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"Did you hear that the actress from Legally Blonde killed someone?"

"Reese Witherspoon?!?

"No. With her knife."

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gotem87
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2016
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I heard that actress Reese what's-her-name got stabbed...

A gasping audience: Witherspoon?! Dad: No, it was with a knife

πŸ‘︎ 44
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jamcan162
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2013
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The actress who got stabbed

Dad: Did you hear about that actress who was stabbed

Me: No I didn't

Dad: I think her name was Reece something or another

Me: Witherspoon?

Dad: No dumbass, with a knife

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DavoDinkum69
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2015
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Did you hear about the actress that just killed herself? Reese....Reeese something-

-Witherspoon?!

  • no with her knife.

Thanks dad.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VvrAase
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2014
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A famous actress was stabbed last night.

-Her name was Reese, her surname escapes me though... *Witherspoon? -No, with a knife

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ligzilla
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2013
🚨︎ report
DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way into town, apparently an actress just killed herself.

MOM: Oh my! Who!?

DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?

MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????

DAD: No, it was with a knife...

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tankerman05
πŸ“…︎ May 01
🚨︎ report
DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.

MOM: Oh my! Who!?

DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?

MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????

DAD: No, it was with a knife

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RageMonster17
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07
🚨︎ report
DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself. MOM: Oh my! Who!? DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something? MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????

DAD: No, it was with a knife...

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Abhilegend
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2019
🚨︎ report
DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.

MOM: Oh my! Who!?

DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?

MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????

DAD: No, it was with a knife...

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thepattato
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Actress just killed herself

DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.

MOM: Oh my! Who!?

DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?

MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????

DAD: No, it was with a knife...

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dadjokeshq
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2019
🚨︎ report
DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself. MOM: Oh my! Who!? DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?

MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????

DAD: No, it was with a knife...

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/isthisgood12
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2019
🚨︎ report
DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.

MOM: Oh my! Who!?

DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?

MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????

DAD: No, it was with a knife...

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/markrulez
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2019
🚨︎ report
DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.

MOM: Oh my! Who!?

DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?

MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????

DAD: No, it was with a knife...

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/virulentt_music
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2019
🚨︎ report
An actress just killed herself...

DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.

MOM: Oh my! Who!?

DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?

MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????

DAD: No, it was with a knife

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thirdeyebro
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2019
🚨︎ report
DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself. MOM: Oh my! Who!? DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something? MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!??????? DAD: No, it was with a knife...
πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tanka007
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2019
🚨︎ report
DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself. MOM: Oh my! Who!? DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something? MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!??????? DAD: No, it was with a knife
πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2018
🚨︎ report

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