At the end of the physics lecture, I asked my professor, “What happened before The Big Bang?”
He said, “Sorry. There is no Time.”
How do you tell which end of a worm is which?
Tickle it in the middle and see which end laughs.
What starts with T, ends with T, and is full of T?
What starts with an "e" and ends with an "e" with a letter in it?
What is always the score at the end of a “best-of-three” match?
One won one, and one won two.
I really struggled with 2020 all year. Sadly, at the end of it...
What begins with a P, ends with an E and has a million letters in it
What did the German soldier say to the French soldier at the end of WWI?
2020 can’t end
Because we’d be admitting 2021.
What does a robot do at the end of a one night stand?
To prove he was right, the "flat earther" walked to the end of the Earth
He eventually came around
Daughter (complaining): :Daaaad, that's boring!" Son (overhearing end of conversation): "What's boring?"
Me (to son): digging holes in the ground.
mum: snigger
How do you kiss someone at the end of the world?
It doesn’t matter if you’re tall, short, fat, thin, rich, poor, at the end of the day....
What starts with 'O' and ends with 'nions' and sometimes make you cry?
We CANNOT let this year end.
Cos then we will be admitting 2021.
But then again, we can't just skip 2021. Cos the next year is 2022.
The pessimist sees a dark tunnel. The optimist sees a light at the end of the tunnel. The realist sees a freight train.
The train driver sees three idiots standing on the tracks.
How did a heart end up in jail?
There was a cardiac arrest
Why is everyone depressed and ready for the year to end?
Because 2021.
I hope this is OC. Havent looked though.
What starts with a W and ends with a T.
What’s a microscopic dead end street?
There is a group of people that always ends things...
The Trump Presidency didn't end with a bang...
Some guy on a tractor keeps driving past my house shouting, “THE END IS NIGH!!! THE END IS NIGH!!!”
It might be farmer Geddon.
Goldilocks, running from the 3 bears, finds herself in a dead end with nothing but a bag of ice. Papa bear is Drunk and scary. What happens next?
A Goldy-smack with a cold sack in a cul de sac, which is more than a bear with beer could bare.
How do chickens end there shift’s
How did the Easter Bunny end up in Santa's sleigh?
If all social media came to an end
It would be post apocalyptic
A rope walks into a bar. The bartender looks up and says says, “Get out. We don’t serve rope in here.” So the rope goes out, cuts itself in two before tying the two sections together. It then pulls out a comb and combs its ends. The rope then walks back into the bar.
The bartender says, “Hey! Aren’t you the rope that I just threw out?”
The rope replied, “No. I’m a frayed knot.”
Did you know that if you took the Eiffel Tower apart and laid each piece end to end...
you could go to jail for a very long time?
Soccer coach to newbie: "Basically, you kick this ball down the field and try to get it into that big net at the end."
"That's the goal at least."
In a field with lots of sheep and lambs roaming around, a giant wolf appeared and swallowed whole a baby lamb. The lamb whined and yelped nonstop for hours on end. After a while the wolf started getting sick, and yet the lamb yelped and whined ever louder.
Finally the wolf died and the baby lamb walked out of the wolf and rejoined it’s momma in the flock of sheep. Turns out the wolf died of internal bleating.
All credit goes to my coworker.
I meet guy with a deer on the end of each arm.
And this is the way it ends
What does a robot do at the end of a one-night stand?
He nuts and bolts!
Edit: wow! My first Silver. You guys are amazing.
The U.K. lockdown is going to end...
I just realized nothing starts with "n" and ends with "g"
We can't let this year end!
Because that will mean 2021
Don’t worry if you’re tall or skinny or rich or poor. And the end of the day...
What starts, ends, and has T in the middle?
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