Apparently they're mixed up in a custardy battle
So its guaranteed to be a Happy Hollandaise
Because he's eggcentric
I'm cracking up.
"Chicken, please"
My family had to respond to her confused look, assuring her I was pulling her leg.
Note: not a dad yet, but I'm training to be one.
It becomes egg sighted
They are uneggceptable
They'd crack each other up
Egg: Am I a yolk to you?
Remember, only come here for cringe, Because this is the ultimate Pun Collection.
- What does McDonalds say to the tray when it betrays them? "You traytor!"
- Does Spider Man live in an egg? Because i heard he lives in New Yolk.
- These puns aren't very eggciting.
- lettuce taco bout it?
- I will asalt you with puns!
- What if your problem involves telling a phone? JUST TELEPHONE ALREADY!
- What if Jake stands close to Johnny when talking? He Here's Johnny!
- Stop asalting my hard with your judging pursesonality!
- I'll play the Yandere Simulater later.
- You herd about that show? It's called Spongebob Swearpants.
- Why did you diss stew me? (kinda hard to get, but just say it out loud.)
- What does someone say sarcastically in the middle of an intense war that was caused by someone? TANKS TO YOU!
- What type of plane that loves bounce? Boeing!
- How many money did we owe? It said it on the letter right? I don't know, you should've reddit!
I'm sorry for the cringe...
Food truck with eggs being the theme in every dish.
"The Poach Coach"
Popular dishes:
- Eggs Been a Dick (2 poached eggs and 1 average but adequate size sausage)
- Omelette that one slide (you're choice of filling, but don't fucking test me)
- The Dwight Yolk Em' (served in a plastic cowboy hat to go. Must eat while walking the streets of Bakersfield) 4.The Mr. Burns Eggcellent Scramble (smithered with cheese)
- The Quiche a Grey (oralgasmic quiche with a money shot of sausage gravy)
- The John Denver Omelette (full of all kinds of shit)
- Jesus'ed egg (basically a deviled egg only more judgmental and boiled in holy water)
Because there is no plate like chrome for the hollandaise.
"Let me show you how to make an egg roll, son."
Picks an egg
"Take an egg, put it on the table, and just push it!"
One unhatched chick turns to another one that's hatching and says, "Egg-scuse me, omelette you finish, but have you heard any good yolks lately that might crack me up?"
Why was the German egg depressed?
in German accent
Because his life is a yolk
Egg White.
Get the yolk?
I just had a sandwich with only raw eggs.
It was so bad I can't even yolk about it!
My parents are in town for a visit. Keep in mind that I have a 3 year old, so the dad jokes have doubled around here lately.
We go eat and I'm sharing a big burger with my wife. It has a fried egg on it, which I don't like, so I gave her the half with the yolk in it. She bit into it and the yolk broke and dribbled all over her hand. Before I could say anything, my dad mumbles, "Looks like the yolk's on you".
I said, " NOOOOOOOOO you beat me to it!" as my wife and my mom rolled their eyes and groaned. I'm pretty good at the dad jokes, but my dad has the grandfather buff or something.
I need help coming up with a pun for my son's Easter art project. He has done a shop window display using three egg shells as vases in a window box up front. It needs a catchy title based on eggs and shops. Best I've come up with is 'Yolk-al Village Store'.
Me: I bought a dozen eggs and hard boiled them. When I peeled the first one and cut into it, it had two yolks.
Him: Yeah? What were the yolks?
Me: oh geez, Dad. Yolks! Not jokes. facepalm
He made us all egg sandwiches, over easy - runny and delicious. I got some on my hand and as I went to lick it off said, "Yolks on me."
Dad went, "Heh. That's my girl."
Ain't no higher praise.
We were talking about eating cow eyes. My brother said it would probably taste like hard boiled eggs.
In the background my dad has been mooing. When my mom turned to him to tell him to be quiet, he stopped and said...
"I'm not yolking!"
... The club was packed as an egg was doing some stand up comedy. After the laughter died down from a particularly hilarious one-liner, I leaned over to my wife and said "that's a funny yolk".
So some friends and I were at the breakfast buffet at a hotel (road trip).
Friend #1: Hey look, deviled eggs!
Me: No those are just boiled eggs.
Other friend: Yea deviled eggs are prepared with some other stuff in it.
Friend #1: Yea yea whatever
15 minutes later, going for seconds
Friend #1: Hey, pass me a deviled egg.
All of us: It's just boiled, not deviled!
Friend #1: Relax, I'm just yolking around.
He was too proud of that one. Us, not so much..
I was frying and egg this morning and I accidentally broke the yolk. My dad sees this and goes "looks like the Yolks on you!"
Oh how Ive missed him.
A: Broke
Q: What do people do with cigars and cigarettes?
A: Smoke
Q: What do you call a funny story that's supposed to make someone laugh?
A: Joke
Q: What's the most popular brand of cola in the world?
A: Coke
Q: What do you call the white of an egg?
A: Yolk.
No, it's the albumen.
TV - "And here, they put eggs IN their coffee"
Dad - "Eggs in coffee? They've go to be yolking!"
While starting on the eggs for the fried rice, he separated the yolk from the whites and started bouncing it on his spatula. He turned to a guy at the table and said "Ready?" as though he was going to toss it to him for a catch, then once we'd all made adequately horrified faces, he replies "I'm just yolking!"
His eggs were over-easy. He wanted to place an egg on his toast, but in transit, the yolk exploded all over his hand.
First thing that comes out of my mouth: "Are you... yolkay?"
