What car did Jesus drive in the bible?
An Accord,
“For I did not speak of my own Accord.” John 12:49
My Dad just said this one in the drive-thru not 2 minutes ago
First Window staffer, who takes the payment: "Hi, it's $7.30 (said like 'seven-thirty')
My Father: "No it's not, it's only 1 o' clock"
No one drives in the city anymore.
There was too much traffic.
I just saw Jesus & a couple of His disciples drive past me in a new car
Looks like it was a Christler
What do a broken hard drive and a baby have in common?
My Honda Civic was banned from the drive-in movies
They say it contains a huge spoiler.
I made that up on the spot and told it to my kid. He told me it's not funny and it's a horrible joke. 😟
What happens when you drive a Subaru in reverse?
In an effort to combat climate change, the U.S. Army will no longer allow rabbits to drive vehicles.
This will eliminate 75% of America’s car bunny missions.
The Egyptian government has asked Cairo’s taxi drivers to drive around and sound their horns in the hope that familiar sounds will help calm the residents following the pandemic.
Operation Toot And Calm ‘Em will last a week.
Guy #1: Check out these pictures I took of the wheat fields during my drive in the country
Guy #2: That would explain why they look so grainy
Why can't Matthew Mcconaughey drive in Nascar?
They always go left and he's alright, alright, alright.
What make of car do they drive in movie Frozen?
Why did the man drive his car in the ocean?
He wanted to get some extra bass in the speakers
They want to open a floating cinema in Paris with drive-in boats.
I just think that's in Seine.
It took me a while to understand why it is hard to drive in the snow,
when your kids are learning to drive, don't stand in their way!
In car earlier with wife, daughter, parents. We drive by a cemetery. My dad says “you guys know how many people are dead in there?”
In unison dead pan my wife and mother: “all of them”
“Dad, do all countries in Europe drive on the right?”
Dad: Yes, the Brits left.
Brought it in for an oil change, says he only drives it from time to time.
A guy in a tracker just drive past me yelling "the end of the world is nigh!"
My friend Adam was telling me how, in addition to marrying a hot super model whose daddy bought the house he lives in and the car he drives just for marrying his daughter, he was also sexing up a hot stewardess. I found it hard to believe...
Because Adams make up everything!
(Question/advice) Subway accidentally gave me the wrong sandwich in the drive thru, how do I go about getting a refund without my receipt?
Two fish are in a tank, one turns to the other and says, "how do you drive this thing?
I put the new engineer in charge of driving the locomotive despite without having lessons on how to drive it...
I figured he would do well with on the job training. He went off the rails and wrecked. I don't need to mention about his conduct during the process.
When a dad drives past a cow pasture: LOOK! That cow is OUT-STANDING in his field!
There are two reasons I don't take my girlfriend on long drives in my Tesla.
One I don't have a girlfriend.
Two I don't have a Tesla.
Dadjoked in the Arby's drive though.
The cashier says "It's $19.97," and my husband responded "I'm pretty sure it's 2014." Groans were had by myself, our son, and the cashier, while my husband cackled gleefully.
Why do we park in a driveway and drive on a parkway?
When a dad drives past a graveyard: Did you know that's a popular cemetery? Yep, people are just dying to get in there!
In most places, the right side is considered the right side to drive on. The ones left consider it to be the left.
What car do you drive in fall?
Nobody in the church will drive a Kia.
They sell too many Souls.
What do people drive in the Fall?
In an announcement to coincide with International Women's Day, the Church of England has announced a drive to increase the number of female vicars...
They want to decrease the gender pray gap
When our first child was on the way, my wife told the doctor in maternity “We’d’ve been here sooner if my husband could drive better”
And I said, “Honey, watch out for those double contractions! They’re brutal.”
There shouldn’t’ve been another one for at least 10 minutes,
I was gonna drive but my car was covered in leaves...
I guess it is an autumnmobil now.
My girlfriend and I were on a safari drive in South Africa...
Girlfriend: Oh, that's definitely an aardvark burrow in the termite mound.
Me: ...would you say it's an example of classic aardvarkitecture?
Two fish are in a tank, one turns to the other and says, "how do you drive this thing?
Two fish are in a tank, one turns to the other and says, "how do you drive this thing?
When a dad drives past a cow pasture: LOOK! That cow is OUT-STANDING in his field!
Two fish are in a tank, one turns to the other and says, "how do you drive this thing?
Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other, "do you know how to drive this thing?"
Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other: “Do you know how to drive this thing?”
In places where people drive on the left side of the road they don't have the right to drive
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