stair lifts
Me: It's an olfactory response.
Not sure what to do in the Mean Time.
..the horse was great, the car was a little buggy.
Dad: "Did you know that the people who live in this town aren't allowed to be buried in that cemetery?"
Me: "Oh, why?"
Dad: "Cuz they're still alive."
A Chevy Impaler.
I told them that I would shift as best I could...
And yet they blame me for the car accident
Sounds easy, but the process is painstaking .
Yeah, that's a LIE. Sometimes I even have a hard time getting up afterwards.
Lena could not leave them on the side of the road so they scooped the babies up and put them in the car. As they drove the baby skunks managed to make their way from the floor up Lena's dress and settled on her lap. Lena looked at Ole and said "the skunks are under my dress". Ole said "Zat's OK dear zey are settled down". Lena said "Vhat about the smell?". Ole said, "Oh, don't worry dear they will get used to it!"
I replied, "thanks, I'll get it tested for Corollavirus".
...he's ex-Uber-ant
I would steer clear.
But they encouraged me to immediately return to the vaccination center to pick up my glasses.
She just buries her head in the sand like an off switch.
An Accord,
“For I did not speak of my own Accord.” John 12:49
Thats how i lost my job as a bus driver
"Don't worry, Honey, he's just another Fred of mine."
A Datsun
Elevators.
The metacarpools
First Window staffer, who takes the payment: "Hi, it's $7.30 (said like 'seven-thirty')
My Father: "No it's not, it's only 1 o' clock"
Ooops no cell service; must be a dead zone
Ba dum tish.
and turns into a field.
I turn to her and say “I bet he don’t have the guts to do that again”
Edit: holy shit y’all this blew up. Thank you master dads. I feel worthy
A Lamborghini.
But slowly, I got over it.
They passed anyway
I said, “Where did that come from?”
A Christler.
A ToYoda
I said to myself, that’s a little condescending
...right in front of a house where there’s a huge party going on. He walks in and notices that the party is somewhat divided. There’s a clear distinction between the people waiting for the bathroom and the people queued up for drinks, etc.
Considering the urgency of the bathroom queue, he walks over to the drinks table and asks everyone there if they wouldn’t mind helping him push his car to get it started. They agree but even with the full might of several people, the car doesn’t budge. He thanks them for trying and they all head back inside.
A little while later, the doorbell rings. The man sees the host open the door to the largest pizza guy he’s ever seen. The behemoth is holding 15 pizzas with one hand, a pallet of buffalo wings with the other, with a keg strapped to each shoulder. The man jumps up and asks the pizza guy for his help pushing the car. He agrees and they head to the street.
With barely one touch of a pinky on one hand, the car lurches forward and starts right up. The man drives off, waving behind him and yelling a quick, “Thank you.”
As he catches sight of the party fading into the distance, he says to himself...
“Thank goodness for the delivery because that punch line sure is weak.”
They can't read
Up until now I was willing to let it slide.
Me: It's an olfactory response.
