I think the patients will enjoy the extra bedspace.
To me this was the moment I knew my girlfriend was a pun master.
Going to the kitchen to grab some more food, my girlfriend happened to be standing there. As a was scooping seconds of dinner she said something and I said one second.. She said "no seconds" as the scoop hit the plate and the words left my mouth.. Two puns at once! I was impressed and amazed needed to post it.
Playing soccer with my 8 year old brother (I'm sortve like an uncle to him) when he then says his eye is hurting.
Me: Really are you okay?
Him: Yeah it's alright. It happens sometimes when I'm reading and i can't make out the words.
Me: (thinking he may have dyslexia) Oh really, what happens to the words when you try to read them?
Him: I can't read them. Sometimes words just moosh together, like "they" and "are" become one word, it's weird.
Me: Maybe you just have conjunctivitis!
XD
(Then had to explain what "conjunctivitis" and a "conjunction" is - still a win in my books)
Current events make it less attractive.
All hail The Double Pun. Mic drop
Yes it’s a double pun. This is probably the best thing I’ve ever done in my whole life...
So, this just happened last night. My son (11 years old, and a true lover of dad jokes) is not presently speaking to me.
After i just finished cutting an avocado in two... Me: Shall we "halve" some avocado with dinner tonight? Huh? Huh? (Dramatically pointing to the cut produce in Vanna White style.) Son: (Unimpressed). I might take a little. Me: You might? I say you "halve two!" (Again gesturing dramatically to the two halves.) Son: groan That was TERRIBLE... But you score extra points for a double pun. Me: Av-a-cad-o million more where those came from. Mic Drop
It's actually a double pun and enters the realm of dad quality
It’s literally the blind leading the blind.
...but I couldn't pass cowculus.
I said, "You did not." She glares at me, "Yes I did." Me, "You did knot." She grudgingly accepts reality and stomps away, head shaking.
Because the chicken was on its wrong side.
I guess you can call them Japa-knees
Oops, wrong sub!
Then you'll all be sorry.
From the back of the room a Physics professor said, "Yeah, yeah."
As a sole provider they'll likely get you something that's laced.
Triple Eh
But my god, it’s so hard!
The fairy of relativity.
I can just never think of anything else to finish them off with
Now they can Scandinavian!
Yeah, they're calling it global worming.
It was the first known casual tea of war.
Ham-boogers!
I know, it snot funny.
Carrots maybe good for your eyes, but booze will double your vision
The double aaaayyyyyyyyyy.....
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Why?
To see the idiot.
...
Knock Knock
Who's there?
The chicken.
I was double-crossed.
A woman walks into a cocktail bar and asked for a double entendre - so the barman gave her one.
I'm creating a drinking game where every important event equals to drinking, but I am nowhere close to NAMING my drinking game. A friend of mine recommended this subreddit, saying that people drop some really punny puns here. Give your ideas for a title, I think up to 6 words would be okay.
Let's see what you can do!
What you need to know about the game:
- You can create your timeline based on packages (ages, countries, continents, etc).
- Every important event has a normal action and drinking action.
- You never know in which year you are located but get an estimate year. You can either guess the year (or date) and get a free pass or you have to execute the action or drinking action. When you guess wrong, you'll have to double it.
That's basically it.
They have double the horsepower
It was two triggered.
Double Stuffed
For Terrible Underwater Breathing Apparatus
they cost an arm and a leg
