A man walks into his doctorβs office and says, βDoctor, I think Iβm addicted to Twitter.β
The doctor looks at him and says, βSorry, I donβt follow you."
π︎ 787
π
︎ Feb 01 2021
A man walks into the doctor's office
"What seems to be the problem?" asks the doc.
"It's.. erm .. well ... I have five penises." replies the man.
"Ah ok. How do your trousers fit?" asks the doc.
"Like a glove."
π︎ 153
π
︎ Jan 27 2021
A Man rushed into a Doctor's office shouting ' help me Doctor, I'm shrinking' The Doctor calmly said ' Now settle down a bit '..
.. you'll just have to learn to be a little patient.
π︎ 55
π
︎ Jan 06 2021
A bell curve walked into a plastic surgeon's office and said "Doctor, I don't like the way I look"
And the doctor said, "You look normal to me".
π︎ 7
π
︎ Dec 21 2020
My dad was telling me about his doctorβs appointment today. He needed to get some vaccines, but because of Covid he would have to go to the office and they would give them to him in his car.
He said he was going to be involved in a drive by shooting.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Sep 16 2020
After waiting for an hour at the doctor's office the nurse came by and said sorry for the wait...
To which I replied, "No problem, I'm patient."
π︎ 16
π
︎ Aug 13 2020
Doctor! Doctor! there is an invisible man in your office.
Nurse tell him i can't see him.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Aug 12 2020
A guy walks into his doctors office saying, βHelp me, doctor, Iβm shrinking.β βHold on,β says the doctor,
βBe a little patient.β
π︎ 737
π
︎ Mar 08 2020
What did the doctor say when everybody left his office extremely slowly?
"I'm losing my patience!"
π︎ 12
π
︎ May 18 2020
My husband walked into the proctologists office, and I knew then that the doctor must have a child as well when I heard the words from the other side of the door,
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jun 09 2020
A man leaps into the Doctor's office, flashlight in his mouth, both hands behind his back, screaming "It's the mawkew! Oh God the Mawkew!!...
...I fell on my awt supplies and it went stwaight up my wectum"
π︎ 2
π
︎ May 25 2020
"Hello is this the Doctor's Office? I'd like to book an appointment"
"Of course. What about Ten tomorrow?"
"No I don't need that many"
π︎ 9
π
︎ Apr 28 2020
A man walked to the doctors office
The man says:" doctor, my hands don't stop shaking."
The doctor asked:"have you been drinking?"
Then the man replied:"no, I can't, because I spill all of it. "
A joke my dad told me
π︎ 12
π
︎ Mar 15 2020
A patient goes into a doctor's office for examination...
Doctor: On a scale from 1 to 10, how much pain are you experiencing?
Patient: Ο
Doctor: pi?
Patient: Low level, but never ending
π︎ 27
π
︎ Jan 03 2020
A chubby Mandalorian steps on the scale at the doctor's office. The nurse reads it and says, "215 lbs." Mando sternly replies "180 pounds..."
π︎ 12
π
︎ Dec 28 2019
What made the tongue sad at the doctorβs office?
The doctor brought out the tongue depressor
π︎ 10
π
︎ Jan 02 2020
A guy walks into a doctor office wearing nothing but underwear made of clear plastic wrap. The doctor takes one look at him and says...
"Well, I can clearly see your nuts!"
π︎ 2
π
︎ Aug 03 2019
A man walks into his doctor's office
With a large, painful lump under his armpit. In a slight panic, the man asks the doctor if there's any way he can help by informing him of what the massive growth is.
The doctor looks carefully and slightly questioning his diagnosis says, "A cyst?"
"Right", says the man, "I'd love to know what the hell this thing is and if you can help me with it".
π︎ 6
π
︎ Sep 15 2019
A man burst into a doctor's office and began asking all sorts of strange questions to the people waiting inside. When the doctor asked him to stop, he didn't. The doctor replied
You're really testing my patients.
π︎ 96
π
︎ Apr 04 2019
My eye doctorβs office is at the shopping mall.
Sheβs an Opthemallogist
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 02 2019
A person with a very blocked nose walks into a doctors office
The doctor says: "So, you're having mucus problems?"
The person replies: "perhaps, perhap snot"
π︎ 2
π
︎ Oct 31 2019
A 600 pound man went to the doctor's office today
His nutritionist advised him to either start a new diet or exercise more but the man couldn't outweigh his options
π︎ 2
π
︎ Oct 25 2019
A woman walks into a doctor's office with a frog on her head. Slightly taken aback, he tells her to sit and asks, "What would happen to be your ailment?"
"Well doc, there would appear to be a woman stuck to my butt."
π︎ 3
π
︎ Oct 14 2019
So I walked into doctorβs office and said βDoc can you help me out ?β
He said βSure, which way did you come in?β
π︎ 45
π
︎ Jun 03 2019
A man ran through the waiting room, barged into the doctors office and said "Doctor, help me quick I've swallowed a pool ball."
The doctor looked at him crossly, pointed out of the door and said "get to the end of the cue!"
π︎ 8
π
︎ Aug 06 2019
A man walks into the Drs office with a duck on his head. The doctor says "What can I do for you today?" The duck says "Doc, can you get this guy off my tail?"
π︎ 11
π
︎ Jul 20 2019
A man walks into a doctor's office with celery in one ear, peas in the other, and a carrot up each nostril, and says "Doc, I don't feel well". The doctor replies "It's because you aren't eating right."
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jul 20 2019
I had to leave office yearly because i had an appointment to meet a horse doctor
I have no idea how that horse became a doctor
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jul 08 2019
A patient bursts into a doctorβs office, "Doctor, I believe I'm a deck of cards!" The doctor calmly replies, "Go sit in the waiting room, please, I'll be dealing with you later."
short-funny.com/best-punsβ¦
π︎ 15
π
︎ Jul 10 2017
A man walks into a doctorβs office...
and saysβDoc, I think Iβm addicted to Smash Mouth.β
The doctor asks βHow can you tell? Have you had any symptoms?β
The man replied βSOME...β
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jun 28 2018
A man went into a doctors office to ask about his sore stomach
The doctor said βquit your belly achingβ
π︎ 5
π
︎ May 31 2019
I want to open a doctors office with a nail salon inside.
Itβll be called βMany Cures and Manicuresβ
π︎ 50
π
︎ Nov 27 2018
My pregnant wife and I were on our way out of the doctor's office
And the receptionist was trying to schedule our next appointment, which was a routine check up. "We'll get you in and out real quick," she said. I turned to her and said, "that's what got us into this mess in the first place."
π︎ 1k
π
︎ Feb 01 2015
I went to the doctorβs office and started yelling, βTyphoid! Measles! Flu!β
I always like to call the shots.
π︎ 21
π
︎ Mar 30 2018
Visit to the Doctorβs Office
Carol hated going to the Doctorβs office, she was afraid she would see he ex-Ray.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jul 25 2018
Receptionist at my doctor's office: "Someone will call you shortly "
Me: "I prefer to be called 'Robert'"
π︎ 20
π
︎ Aug 06 2018
A man barges into the doctorβs office and says βDoc, youβve got to help me! Iβve turned invisible!!β
βIβm sorry,β the doctor replies, βbut I canβt see you right now.β
π︎ 6
π
︎ Oct 26 2018
Why is there no new guy at the animal doctorβs office?
Because theyβre all vets
π︎ 15
π
︎ Jun 10 2018
My child was acting up at the doctorβs office.
I said, βBe a little patient.β
π︎ 40
π
︎ Jan 21 2018
A man was in the doctors office
He had broken is arm and was finally getting his cast removed and he said to the doctor βwill I be able to play guitar doctor?β and the doctor replied βof course sir!β. βWow, thatβs an amazingβ treatmentβ said the man, βbecause I couldnβt play it beforeβ.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Oct 04 2018
A man is at the doctor's office...
The doctor comes in and says "Well sir, I'm afraid I'm gonna have to ask you to stop masturbating".
The man says "Really, why?"
The doctor says "Because I have to examine you".
π︎ 7
π
︎ May 31 2018
What does an over-eager doctorsβ office with no walk-ins or appointments need?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Apr 16 2018
A pony walks into thr doctors office.
Pony: Hey Doc, I've been having a cough ever since I was born
Doctor:I see the problem, your just a little hoarse
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jun 13 2018
Doctor's office
So I go into the dr. office, tell the receptionist my name and say "I have an appointment with the doctor."
She says "Which doctor?"
I say "No, just a regular one..."
Get it? Witch Doctor...
π︎ 268
π
︎ Dec 10 2015
A man walks into a doctors office. βWhat seems to be the problem?β Asks the doc. βItβs... um... well... i have five penises.β Replies the man. βBlimey!β Says the doctor, βhow do your trousers fit?β βLike a glove.β
π︎ 269
π
︎ Sep 11 2019
A man walks into a doctors office. "What seems to be the problem'P" Asks the doc. um... well... I have five penises," replies the man. "Blimey!" Says the doctor "how do your trousers fit?"
π︎ 6
π
︎ Sep 11 2019
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