Dishwashing Machine Puns

With Christmas upon us it means there might be a lot of extra dirty dishes for people hosting a Christmas party. (If Corona-restrictions is not putting a stop to that in your area). So the thought came up about dish cleaning.

A friend shared a meme kind of about this, but it’s true. I had my first restaurant job in ‘06 and we had a really fast dishwasher - normal for a restaurant. But at home it takes however long, much longer. It’s 2021 now and it seems like it should be the norm for a quicker way to do dishes.

I have a dishwasher that I don’t even use bc I think it’s easier to wash things by hand instead of having a bunch of dishes waiting to be cleaned til I have a full load. And then putting them away all at once is something I dread.

I hate chores, like laundry - where I have to wait a half hour, hour, or more to finish the chore. Yeah I wanna do some laundry now, but does that mean in an hour I want to fold it? No.

So there was a box sticking out the machine and water (with blue stuff, no smell) was leaking out of the machine. I wanted to show it to the leader at that moment and I grabbed the box and ZZZZZZZZZZ I felt all muscles cramping in my arm and couldn’t let go of the machine, at some point I realized it was electricity and was able to jump away!

It hurt a lot and got shocked a lot. Felt like I could fall down at any moment and felt like I had to vomit!

My muscles were cramping for a long time and I said I was able to continue work, but it was still hurting. They told me I had to call someone to bring me to the first aid after 10 minutes of working.

Luckily it didn’t go to my heart or something and I’m actually fine, just shocked now. (3 hours later)

But I’m not sure what to do, it wasn’t the most painful electricity shock but still it did hurt. They turned the machine off, but I’m really mad about the fact that they let this stuff hang there with all the water leaking from it… water and electricity…….

Going to see a doctor tomorrow and then get back to work, but what if they say “there wasn’t a lot of volts on it, so it’s not a big deal”. Or something? They don’t know what I feel… I’m just really scared for their responses.

Hey all!

I had to send home our dishwasher tonight because he wasn't feeling well. I finished up for him and just got home and realized I forgot to turn off the hot water booster under the dish machine.

It's probably not a huge deal but I couldn't find any specific info about it online.

I'm wondering if i need to make a trip all the way back there tonight or if i can just turn it off as soon as i get in tomorrow and have it off for a couple hours before service.

Thanks in advance!

i was already looking for a new job but damn

Yesterday I fucked up by putting regular dish soap in my dishwashing machine. If you already have one of those machines, you know that you should never even put regular dish soap in it.

But! What should I say? It was 10:30pm and I decided to start a 1:30 duration program. As I grabbed my detergent bottle, it hit me that I forgot to get a refill. So, I thought screw it and decided to go with whatever detergent was left. So I was there standing and squeezing the hell of that bottle to get all that sweet juice, but at the end the recipient for the detergent was only half-full. I grabbed about a teaspoon of regular dish soap and added it to it, closed the door and pressed start.

About 20 or 30 minutes later, I heard the machine beeping. Usually, when it beeps 8 times I know the program is complete. I hit pause and carefully opened the door. All hell broke loose! A tsunami of foam was trying to escape from the machine. All I could see inside was a white THICC foam. I carefully started taking out the cutlery basket, then the dishes and finally the cups and bowls. After that, I grabbed a sponge and started cleaning the mess inside it. Once I was done, I closed the door to check if there was any damage to the machine. OH CRAP! The machine was unresponsive. I unplugged the power connector and plugged it back and the machine turned on alone, plus one of the program indicators was blinking rapidly and it was beeping at me for god knows what reason (like I didn’t know I fucked up). I repeated the plugging and unplugging but it was the same thing every time.

After standing there and looking at it for a while like an idiot and wondering how to fix my mess, I pulled it to check out the back if there was a leak or something and BOOM! I just broke a china plate and a bowl that I forgot to move from the way before moving it. The local police pulled me over (my mother) and she told me to stop whatever I was doing, let it dry, go to sleep and try again in the morning before causing more chaos. I unplugged the beast hoping that it would reset somehow and left it alone, but before hitting the bed, I needed to clean all the plates, bowls, cups and cutlery that I took out from it and they were still full of white THICC foam.

Anyway, today I decided to do some more troubleshooting. I plugged the power cord, and the same shit that happened the night before happened again. The moment I plug it, it turns on alone, beeps at me and there is a light blinking rapidly. I grabbed t

/r/appliances

Here's a stupid one. And it actually happened today.

I'm not much of a crier, except when watching The Iron Giant, I'm only human. As a result, it's never a thing that my wife will catch me crying outside of that movie (and Marley & Me).

Anyways, we have this running joke where she likes to tell me things she's gonna do that are pretty mundane, like running the dishwasher. I always act really shocked and confused as to why she would do something like this to me. We like playing overly dramatic and faking shocked anger at silly stuff. It's fun.
As an aside, I get that she's making sure I get all the possible glasses out of my man-cave to put in the machine, but it's more than just the dishwasher, it's stuff like 'I'm gonna turn off the kitchen light' or 'I need to water my house plants'.

I digress.

So she comes home from work today about ten minutes after I started the dishwasher, and when I heard the garage door open, I rubbed my eyes really hard in hopes to redden them up, then started sniffling and trying to make it seem like I had been crying. I CANNOT produce actual tears on command, but can fake it pretty well beyond that.
She opens the garage door to see her idiot husband standing there and sniffling like a child.

I say to her "Babe, I'm so sorry, I don't know how to tell you this..."

She immediately screams "Where's OLLIE?!" Ollie is our dog and usually runs to greet her, but for the first time in his life was too preoccupied with something else in the house or just didn't hear her come home.

At first I was shocked that she didn't seem to care that I was crying and just wanted to see our good little boy. So in my confusion I ask "What the fuck, don't you see me crying?"
She starts crying and yelling "What happened? What did you do?"
Thankfully, Ollie comes running around the corner and puts his paws on her knees, excited to see her. She seems him, fine and healthy, and looks at me, tears in her eyes, and finally asks "Why the fuck are you crying?"

"I ran the dishwasher."

We had a good laugh but she was worried Ollie had died. He's only 9, but you never know. And I'm an idiot.

TL;DR
I faked like I was crying for a stupid inside joke between my wife and I, she assumed our little pupper Ollie had died/been killed/murdered.
My wife loves me, but she loves our dog more, and I get that.

Like literally 3 hours and the dishes aren't even that dry..

Am I the only one who named their dishwashing machine? If I’m not (hopefully), I’ll start this convo off by my machine. Her name is Bertha.

Don't want to wipe your dishes dry either? Just tumble dry them!

All too often, people who haven't worked in a kitchen do not understand that dishwashers are not some magical device that can remove the hardened, caked on, remnants of a cooking mishap because of ads that tell them so. Often those ads are showing test conditions that are rare in real life, unless you buy a new dishwasher every year, run the machine after every meal, and use pristine glassware, free from wear and scratches.

You need to rinse or scrub off the worst of food so the food doesn't dry out, harden then get baked on further by the high water temperatures of the dishwasher. In a restaurant, dishes tend to go through the dishwasher immediately or within about 90 minites after use (backups happen). Every then, there is typically a rinse hose and scouring pads available for those tougher messes, before putting them in the dishwasher.

If these things were called sanitizing machines, perhaps their function would be better understood so I don't get ridiculed when I try to explain this to people. The one thing I often hear is "don't worry about scrubbing the dishes, just put it in the dishwasher, that's what it's for."

Edit: grammar

I grew up hand-washing my dishes, only had a dishwashing machine in the past few years or so. I've had two different ones so far, and they both kind of sucked; like 80% of the dishes still have crap stuck to them, and even the "clean" ones have white spots from the water droplets drying in place. I always feel like I'm stuck hand-washing them anyway. We rinse off all our dishes before putting them in the sink, so it's not like they're totally covered in food before they go in the dishwasher.

Is this a typical experience with these things, or have I just had bad luck? Maybe I'm using the wrong dish detergent or something?

I heard a thing on the radio today talking about some tweet and R.A.T.M. apparently some "long time fan" didn't realise that R.A.T.M. is a political band, made a tweet at Tom saying he didn't like the songs with a political theme. Some other guy questioned back at him, asking what "machine" their band could possibly be referring to. Tom ended up replying to initial tweeter asking which songs were non political so that he could delete/dispose of them. I got a decent laugh out of it. I wouldn't say I'm an advocate R.A.T.M. listener, but even I know they're songs are political.

TL;DR: Some story I heard on the radio about a tweet to Tom from R.A.T.M. made me laugh and thus inspired this.

Growing up, all the dishwashing machines had a locking lever (at least the ones I saw did). That led me to believe that the dishwasher filled up just like a washing machine does.

I'm doing work experience in a bakery atm, and their dishwashing machine is SO much better than the one I use at work to wash the dishes there.

The dishwashing machine where im doing work experience is one of those dishwashers where you chuck everything onto it, instead of shoving everything on a single rack.

Yeah I wish the one I use at work was bigger, it could be so much more productive <sighs>

The idea is to be mostly automated so it’s cheap to maintain since it’s meant to be free to use.

Those futuristic beds will keep track of how many hours a person has used them within 24hrs so people can’t abuse the system and stay there all day.

This is a perfect metaphor to describe the whole situation here. This sub is like a Samsung^(TM) Front-load Washing machine^( for the low low price of $4.99)

The soap, obviously, is the updatebot. It's in control of the washing process. "Dishwashing" is an update. The pauses are the times we're just sitting in the washing machine waiting for an update.

Commenters are pieces of left over food, attaching themselves to "plates", or posts.

And finally... shitposters are the little fruits and vegetables stupid Johnny doesn't want to eat. I swear, Jonny, if you don't eat your damn celery in the next 10 seconds I'll put it in your mouth. Don't make me come over there. I'm waiting.

There are large amounts of them because Johnny continues to not eat his fruits and vegetables. There should not be fruits and vegetables in the dishwasher, Johnny! Don't make me throw food away!

The mods, "moms", taking care of the plates.

Basically what I'm saying is: Screw you Johnny. Do you know how hard your mother works to put food on the table?

Do you wash them like your regular dishes? What kind of soap do you use? Air dry? Sanitize? Please describe your process.

The idea is to be mostly automated so it’s cheap to maintain since it’ll be free to use.

These futuristic beds will keep track of how many hours a person has used them within 24hrs so people can’t abuse the system and stay there all day.