I once dated a girl missing 1 leg, it didn't work out though...
I'm lack toes intolerant.
I can't believe I just dated a german nationalist! But I guess it's obvious, looking back on it
I mean, there were red flags all over the place
He should have dated Miss Universe
I once dated an X-Ray Tech. It didn’t work out.
I once dated a condemned witch.
There was a lot at stake in the relationship, but now she’s just an old flame.
I once dated a girl with a wooden leg.
I once dated an anesthetist...
I once dated a girl that had a twin. . .
People always asked how I could tell them apart but it was pretty easy.
Jessica had purple fingernails, James had a dick.
I once dated a phlebotomist whom, when she tried to draw my blood, said "Be positive."
It was then I realized, she wasn't my type.
For a while I dated a woman who owned a pile of flesh
You know what they say though...
Beauty is only skinned heap
Did you hear about the guy who only dated women named Esther, sometimes more than one at a time?
He identified as poly-Esther
I once dated two girls called Edith and Kate. Kate found out and told Edith that I was dating both of them at the same time. They both broke up with me on the very same day!
Moral of the story is you can’t have your Kate and Edith too
I dated a transformer once
The sex was great, like, wheely great.
But ultimately it tired me out too much.
I was exhausted basically all of the time.
Had to put that brakes on that relationship.
I dated a woman with a wooden leg.
It wasn't working out, so I broke it off. Sorry Peg.
I dated a communist once. I had no idea. She seemed sweet. But it did NOT end well
Honestly I should have noticed all the red flags
I dated a minor once
He was practically inseparable from his pickaxe
Anyone I ever dated was impressed when I told them I liked to relax on my poop deck.
They were always disappointed when I showed them it was just a regular deck with dog poop on it.
I once dated a bottle of lemonade
She really Schwepped me off my feet.
I dated a girl with a lazy eye once
Turns out she was seeing someone on the side
I once dated a lady who had beef with me
I dated a neurosurgeon once, but I had to end it.
I think she was trying to get into my head.
My wife dated a professional clown before we started going out.
I had some big shoes to fill.
I once dated a woman from Finland with a foot fetish.
Unfortunately, I'm Lap toes intolerant.
I dated a twin once...
I once dated a twin. My friend asked me how I told them apart. I said Stacy has a beauty mark on her right cheek. And Frank has a beard.
I dated a one legged girl who worked at a brewery.
She was in charge of the hops.
I dated two girls at the same time in high school.
Kate and Edith. They both found out pretty quick... taught me a good lesson... You can’t have your Kate and Edith too.
I once dated a banana but it didn't go so well...
She had a split personality
My girlfriend dated a clown right before she met me/
Ive got some big shoes to fill.
I went out with a coal miner's daughter. I guess you could say I was carbon dated.
Ya hear about the girl who dated a bottle of ginger ale?
She was Schwepped off her feet!
I dated an Eskimo girl once but it didn’t last
I dated one of the daughters of the Chobani family in college...
But she broke up with me because I was too uncultured.
I dated a household product exterminator once and didn't know it...
I guess my first tipoff should have came with all the Raids. But it really came to light with all the Black Flags.
I once dated a girl in ISIS,
I once dated a bullfighter.
After that was revealed, I started noticing a lot of red flags.
I almost dated a psychic...
but she dumped me before we met.
I dated this girl for a while but I broke up with her because she was crazy...
She kept saying things like, "Stop calling me Laurel. My name is clearly Laurel." I'm going to miss that pretty blue dress that she always wore, though.
In college I dated an X-ray tech who I met after a short hospital stay...
I wonder what she saw in me to this day...
The Tinder 'date' guarantee -- Dated / Outdated / Carbon-dated
I dated a door once
The relationship didn’t last though, she was really closed off.
I dated an anesthesiologist once but it didn’t work out
My wife dated a professional clown before she met me.
I had some pretty big shoes to fill.
I dated a one legged girl who worked at the brewery....
She was in charge of the hops
I dated a one legged girl who worked at a brewery.
She was in charge of the hops.
My wife dated a professional clown before she met me.
I had some big shoes to fill.
I once dated a girl who lost all her toes in an accident...
It didn't work out though. I guess I was lack toes intolerant.
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