Date Woman Puns

I came over and no one was home.

When we went to the art museum she said the chemistry wasn't there.

We broke up. She got tired of me pushing her around.

Though she never stood up for herself.

She said, it’s not Yu, it’s Mi

She was having nun of it.

After thinking for a while, I said - 'June 10th'.

“No, first a Gibson, then a Fender”.

They'd think something was wrong with me.

She seams nice

I tried to have a nice conversation, flirt, and enjoy our dinner, but she was having nun of it.

Of course.. After all, he is a Fungi

Me trying to sound intelligent: " Well, China is 3.7 million square miles. "

That is a big red flag.

I guess she's out of my league.

You take a dog with you :)

Man: What is your job?

Woman: I’m a doctor

Man: Guess I won’t be needing this *picks up apple and throws it across room*

Every morning the doctor would stop by and leave a rose for the woman. Which she thought was very sweet.
Every evening the engineer would stop by and leave an apple for the woman. Which she thought was sweet but a little odd.

At the end of a week she asked the engineer why he kept giving her apples. To which he replied, "As they say; an apple a day keeps the doctor away."

I can't even remember what I met her for!

She didn't see it coming.

We were at her place and watched a movie - I know, really romantic, right? She had a kitten who was climbing all over me, sitting in my lap, shedding all over me, pretty much the whole night.

At the end of the date before I turned to leave, I said "You know, I was hoping I'd get a little pussy tonight!"

Little did I know that dad joke was the start - she's now my wife and mother to two wonderful children.