After many years of therapy, my psychologist has finally cured me of the desire to sit in the corner in public and blow on people that walk by! But now I have the urge to wear teen idol t-shirts and lean against the wall...
Long time fan, first time poster.
I used to be blind but I cured it. My wife was the first person I saw
It was love at first sight.
A coworker of mine told me that eating fertilizer cured him of COVID-19
but i bet he was just full of crap.
How do you make a cured ham?
Well first you find a pig with the sniffles...
Instead of medicine, my hippie girlfriend cured her hemorrhoid using only the "power of positive suggestion."
Did you hear how the mathematician cured his constipation?
He worked it out with a number two pencil.
If Mustard cured constipation .....
They'd have to spell it different.
Can you imagine cured meat? Sitting around, brining all day, never lifting a finger.
Recently, my friend was cured of hemophilia.
So I gave him my coagulations.
How do you greet at Muslim cured meats butcher ?
My wife had a bad habit of biting her nails but I cured her.
How they cured the mathematician's despression
The meat put into salami is cured.
All the other meats are terminal.
It's medicinal. She's cured.
The sickness that isn't easily cured.
I kept forgetting to post this here, it's been years since this happened, but...
While sitting out on the back porch with my parents and some of their friends as they sip on drinks, my mom kicks my dad by accident and immediately says "Sorry, sorry, it's my restless leg syndrome."
My dad quickly but smoothly replies, "That's ok honey, you put up with my restless middle leg syndrome."
Groans were had among the wives while laughs were had among the dads. I was left in shock for a few minutes while I tried to remove that image from my head.
My friend re: cured meats
Mom: Do you want a snack? We've got some cheese and summer sausage.
Zack: You guys have had this since summer? I'm surprised it's still good...
A girl came into my bookstore and asked "What are the chances you have a book on curing eating disorders with religion?"
Slim to Nun?
(Incidentally this is a true story and I got yelled at)
When the doctor told me that there was a cure for dyslexia,
What happens, when a doctor catches a disease, that he already found the cure for?
He gets a taste of his own medicine.
They found a plant that cures COVID-19!
It’s called plant yourself on the couch.
My computer crashed and I lost all the notes I'd saved for the book I'm working on called '1001 cures for itches."
I guess, I've got to start again from scratch.
I invented the cure for Covid, it's made of my own breed of coffee.
I call it the Mcafee antivirus
My daughter invented a writing instrument that never runs out of ink, never smudges and cures any other difficulties associated with writing...
What do you call the time period between the Bronze and Iron Ages where humans learned to cure meat?
I made a medicine using ducks that can cure cancer...
They developed a cure for my vampirism AND my blindness!
Never thought I'd see the day.
A blind man asked a doctor if there was a way to cure his blindness
The doctor said eat plenty of sea salt.
This one will give you a headache. Or Cure it.
Did you guys hear about the deli at the medical research clinic?
I guess they successfully cured cancer.
How did the doctors cure the invisible man?
They took him to the ICU.
My therapist said the best treatment for depression is to vigorously rub salt into my skin, to draw out excess moisture....
I have found the cure for blindness!
Has anyone heard that joke that seemingly cures Covid-19?
I havent yet, but I heard its a riot
Did you hear that they came out with a cure for the Coronavirus?
Me neither... But apparently it's a riot!
I've been diagnosed with a type of amnesia that makes me deny the existence of certain 80's bands.
Mary Pill Poppins Pharmaceutical just created a miracle drug that can cure any human of any disease. It's effectiveness is renowned while it's side effects are surprisingly minimal: thick layer of skin develops on the lips while rendering them dry, cracked and quite odorous.
Patients effected by this claim it's super callused fragile lips that smell like halitosis
When you're driving but can't see that well...
Pretty much the first dad joke I've ever seen that requires a video punchline.
https://i.imgur.com/pfZya7P.gifv
Originally posted to /r/IdiotsInCars/ by /u/My_Memes_Will_Cure_U
I’ve dedicated my whole life to finding a cure for insomnia.
I won’t rest until I find it.
I used to have erectile dysfunction
So I walk into the pharmacy, and ask for a coronovirus cure.
Them: Ammonia cleaner?
Me: oh sorry I thought you were the pharmacist.
I created a vaccine for apathy,
unfortunately no one seems interested.
They say eating raw meat can make you sick
My computer crashed and I lost all the notes I'd saved for the book I'm working on called '1,001 cures for itches.'
I guess I'll have to start again from scratch.
I lost my notes I was writing for my book called "1,001 ways to cure an itch."
Guess I'll have to start from scratch.
I’ve dedicated my whole life to finding a cure for insomnia.
I won’t rest until I find it.
I will not rest until I find the cure ..
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
