I used to religiously watch HouseMD and now that i’m studying neurology I stumbled upon a case of Cupid’s disease in one of my neurology books that explains the exact same case and the exact same story in the book! Thought it was extremely cool , had to share!
Book’s name : The Man who Mistook His Wife for a Hat
I've got the black pox all over my unmentionable...
Do your worst!
It really does, I swear!
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
They’re on standbi
Buenosdillas
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
Pilot on me!!
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
When I got home, they were still there.
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
I won't be doing that today!
You take away their little brooms
This morning, my 4 year old daughter.
Daughter: I'm hungry
Me: nerves building, smile widening
Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.
Thank you all for listening.
There hasn't been a post all year!
It’s pronounced “Noel.”
[Removed]
After all his first name is No-vac
What, then, is Chinese rap?
Edit:
Notable mentions from the comments:
-
Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits
-
French/Finnish art
-
Country/Canadian rap
-
Chinese/Country/Canadian rock
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Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap
There hasn't been a single post this year!
(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)
Once upon a time there was a fairy, a curse and a Christmas filled nightmare
I dislike children. Don’t get me wrong, they are fun to chew when you have nothing else in the fridge to eat; but waiting for them to ripen is the worst six years of your life.
The little ones are the toughest to handle. They give me the willies. Kids just don’t scare as easily these days, which makes it impossible for a fella like me to get things done when I really need to.
Sorry. I should probably stop and make introductions. My name is Fane, and I’m a fae. I live off of fear and mischief.
Anyway, this is my story, and I figure that if I want to get the facts straight I’d best tell it myself rather than let some human get the fable all mixed up.
This all happened many Christmases ago, back when the world was not quite as hectic as it is now. Some called it 2018. I’ve never been too good at keeping track of time, being immortal and all; so I just called the year Phil.
Phil started off great, with lots of tricks and mischief to be had up country with my family, the Faeborns or Johansens if you know us; who all enjoy Midsommar and the Solstice a little more than they should by drinking too much rainbow tea and hunting unicorns. The horn is the best part to eat.
But the real problem started around the end of Phil when we all decided to go up to the North Pole and see Uncle Nick. Yes. That fat guy in the red suit is my uncle. And yes he is not as jolly as you realize.
He had just finished watching his elf slaves finish up the last bit of toys for his child cult when he
pulled me aside and asked me, “Fane, when are you going to stop messing around and get your own horns, wings or you know, something?”
“Look, I know it’s unusual for a fae my age to still not be in Heaven or… ya know the other place, or at the very least have my own worshippers; but I’m happy where I’m at in life,” I told him.
“You mean living in your parents basement,” Nick commented.
“It’s only been for the past six hundred years!”
He hurrumphed and said, “I wouldn’t be pushing this issue, but there’s something I need to tell you. Your Granny Kramps is coming and they wants to talk inheritances.”
I had just finished eating a reindeer leg and my stomach was suddenly doing knots. Granny Kramps was much more strict than Nick. And they were mean. Like really really mean.
“Why are they coming here? I thought you hated each other.”
“It’s because he lost a bet,” a voice boomed from t
... keep reading on reddit ➡Nothing, it just waved
Bob
So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."
Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! 😀 Thank you for the awards.
Just to clarify, 12345678
Me grabbing a soda from my (what I thought was) half full 12pk...
Notices there's only 2;
Me: "Awe man... This is a damn bird box!" Her: "What the hell does that mean?!" Me: (Pulls both cans out & shows them to her) "It's only got Toucans."
I'm not ashamed to admit the look on her face was glorious.
I was just sitting there doing nothing.
“BOOM”?!
"That's what they're fighting about."
