My Wife got a thin crust pizza for dinner. It reminded me a lot of myself:
No dough and lots of cheese.
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︎ Mar 01 2021
In pizza we crust π
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︎ Jan 25 2021
Bread
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︎ Apr 11 2021
What do you call it when you have to quickly eat a beef dish wrapped in pastry crust?
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︎ Dec 16 2020
Did you hear about the italian chef that died?
He pasta way. We cannoli do so much. Theres nutelling what can happen next... His legacy will become a pizza history. Here today, gone tomato. I can only espress-so much grief, but lettuce romaine calm. How sad that he ran out of thyme. Ashes to ashes, crust to crust. There's just not mushroom left for italian chefs in this world... Sending olive my prayers to his family. His wife is really upset, cheese still not over it... You never sausage a tragic thing. Its such a shame good people die fusilli reasons. It was a farfalle from grace... My condolences for Roberto, who died in the spaghetto. May he rest in yeastππ»β€οΈ
Wow! Im so glad so many people laughed at this joke, I got so much happy feedback from everyone lol thank u sm for all the rewards and upvotes, my week couldnt get better!π
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︎ Oct 27 2020
Digiorno is launching a frozen pizza crust that spreads itself out on the pan...
I donβt feel like thereβs a knead
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︎ Aug 06 2020
Burnt my hawaiian pizza today...
Should have cooked it on aloha temperature.
EDIT: Thanks for the awards, y'all!
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︎ Oct 06 2020
Crust me, this is a good one
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︎ Jan 29 2019
Jesus Crust
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︎ Jan 10 2020
I bribed my friends into helping me move by buying an extra large stuffed crust pepperoni...
I call it βinfluen-za.β
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︎ Mar 15 2020
The crust is bitten
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︎ Jun 17 2019
The most sophisticated bread is always the upper crust.
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︎ Dec 02 2019
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︎ Apr 23 2019
The crust
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︎ Jun 17 2019
Yesterday I went to the store for only 2 items, a rising crust pizza and a strawberry cake. Fortunately they were relatively light, so bringing it home was a pizza cake!
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︎ Mar 14 2019
Pizzakial $25.17 - The grasp of the desirous man is beset on all sides of the obliquity of the crust and the toppings upon them.
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︎ Nov 28 2018
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︎ Feb 03 2015
My mom would always wake up early to cut the crust off of my sandwiches.
She knew the crust was my favorite part. She hated me so much.
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︎ Sep 08 2017
I found a new bread recipe where you donβt have to get your hands messy by mixing the dough.
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︎ Apr 16 2019
Q: What do you call a Satanist who only eats low-carb pizza?
ΚsnΙΉΙ-α΄Κuβ ΗΙ₯β΄ :β
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︎ Nov 05 2018
Who rises during Yeaster?
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︎ Mar 28 2020
I hope my home-baked breadsticks turn out okay.
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︎ Apr 05 2020
I'm a trucker. My dispatcher texted me to ask if I'd picked up a load of frozen toast. This was my response...
20,000lb of frozen bread so clearly I'm loafing along and a gluten for punishment.
Bad puns are the yeast of my problems. This load takes me to the upper crust, but if I don't get it in on time I'm toast!
Sorry about my rye sense of humor...
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︎ Jun 25 2019
Just wanted to share my dadβs stupid little joke.
We were eating pizza with stuffed crust the other night. As we finished, he told us all, βman, Iβm stuffed!β
It was even funnier that he was crying of laughter. I love my dad.
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︎ Oct 27 2019
A local baker decided he could increase production and profits by putting bread in the oven for half the usual time.
His half-baked scheme didn't work out the way he had planned.
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︎ Sep 17 2017
The pizza's boyfriend cheated on her
She now has crust issues.
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︎ Sep 12 2019
At dinner tonight, I made the greatest original pun Iβve ever heard and it went unappreciated.
My dad almost choked on a small flake of pizza crust, and he spent several minutes coughing in a loud and alarming way.
Finally he stopped, and he was all better. Someone caused him to chuckle, which triggered another fit of coughing.
I said... βThat definitely didnβt go well; I think he had a βre-laughseβ!β
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︎ Aug 25 2018
My Dad. Every Morning. To Everyone.
Dad: How'd you sleep??
Everyone: Good, and you?
Dad: I slept with my eyes closed.
Dad: http://imgur.com/M3jPjIA
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︎ Feb 04 2014
I just ate bread from the worst Bakery in America. I'd take you but...
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︎ Jan 21 2018
It's well known that incest was rampant among the English nobility...
But did you know that the Earl of Sandwich was completely inbread?
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︎ Feb 16 2016
Why wasn't Gandhi allowed in the Indian bakery?
He was known for being naan-violent.
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︎ Jun 28 2015
I was grilling pizza for dinner tonight...
I was explaining the steps and process to my daughter.
I asked her, "do you know what you call the important and precious moments just before you burn the crust?"
She shook her head no.
"....Crunch time...."
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︎ May 19 2019
If a crab worked in a pizza parlor, which station would it work?
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︎ Aug 15 2017
Why does Satan not eat the Pizza bone?
Because he's the Anti-Crust!
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︎ Oct 19 2018
Archeologists have discovered the World's oldest bread...
I think they found it in the Earth's crust.
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︎ Jul 19 2018
Wife said, "We're having sandwiches for dinner. What do you want on the side?"
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︎ Jul 21 2018
What do you call a Chinese lobster?
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︎ Nov 20 2016
Baking on Easter Sunday
Crust is risen! Hallelujah!
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︎ Apr 05 2015
ALERT: do not eat at California Pizza Kitchen
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︎ Oct 20 2016
Easter came early
Today i made myself a pizza. When it was done, looking all puffed up and cheesy, i took it out of the oven, held it above my head, and shouted, "The Crust Has Risen!"
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︎ Mar 12 2017
We were eating supper from a local Indo-Canadian restaurant and my wife's eyes rolled so hard it was audible.
It's a nice little place that serves Indian food, and some Canadian stuff, like pizza. We ordered their Hawaiian special, and loved it. I told my wife the texture of the crust lead me to think they used Indian flatbread for it.
She replied "So that is the secret ingredient?"
"Could be," I answered. "But it's naan of your business what their recipe is."
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︎ Jul 19 2015
My husband is finally a dad!
While watching a cooking show, one of the chefs was using cauliflower to make a pizza crust.
Me: Oh, she's not using any flour.
My husband: well it's a type of flour!
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︎ Jan 31 2015
What do you call a Christian pizza place?
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︎ Aug 05 2014
So yesterday I went to the store. All that I got was a rising crust pizza and a strawberry cake. That was all. Fortunately it was light, so bringing it home was a pizza cake!
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︎ Dec 16 2018
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