What kind of girl is creamy and keeps you up all night?

A coffee mate

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/professorf
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 11 2020
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My buddy gets all the girls. I watched him work once. He approached a lady and said, "girl, you remind me of a thick, creamy beverage made from raw fruit, vegetables, and sometimes dairy products, typically pureed using a blender!"

He's such a smoothie talker.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/thomasbrakeline
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 03 2020
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Whatโ€™s deliciously sweet and creamy and can tell the future?

A chocolate eclairvoyant.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 7
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Bigfoothobbit
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 13 2017
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Just went in to Starbucks and the barista was wearing a face mask.

I asked "Why are you wearing a surgical mask?"

She said "I'm not, it's a coughy filter."

๐Ÿ‘︎ 7k
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/icebucketwood
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 05 2020
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[not a pun] need help with a punny name for my wifeโ€™s meatballs

Hey /r/puns! My wife is entering a meatball cook off this weekend and needs a name for her entry. Neither of us have the same meat naming talents as Bob Belcher, but thought you guys might be able to help.

She is making a lamb meatball with a creamy orange Moroccan sauce served over a small bed of couscous.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/general_stinkhorn
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 13 2019
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The driver of a huge trailer lost control of his rig, and ploughed into an empty toll booth, smashing it to pieces.

He didnโ€™t want to get in trouble s o he stopped his truck got out and started to pick up each broken piece of the wreckage and spread a creamy substance on it. Then he began fitting the pieces together. In less than 10 minutes, he had the entire tollbooth reconstructed and looking good as new. The toll manager came up to him, impressed and said, โ€œWow you fixed that fast! What was that stuff you used to stick all the pieces together?โ€
โ€œOhโ€, said the man, โ€œjust a bit of Tollgate booth pasteโ€œ

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/dandan_56
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 14 2018
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My dad just dropped this on me while eating pancakes...

"What happens when you mix crunchy peanut butter and creamy peanut butter? Crummy peanut butter!"

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Thecallofrhino
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 02 2014
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