How do you make an altar boy crispy?

Throw him into a deep friar.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IronicJeremyIrons
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2021
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Why are they called communion wafers instead of corpus crispy
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πŸ‘€︎ u/snuzet
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2021
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How do you know your Rice Crispies are stoned?

They go, "Snack, Popple, and Crap!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BloodyMorgan
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2020
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So a sensei or β€˜teacher’ at a martial arts school brings a bowl of crispy wontons to class.

He sets it on a plinth and tells the students they’re free to take a couple after class is over. Halfway through teaching the senpai or sensei’s assistant approaches and tells him he has an important phone call. He tells the class to find a partner and practice. He comes back fifteen minutes later and the plinth is knocked over, the bowl is in pieces and the wontons crushed and scattered about. He is dismayed that his students would engage in such sensei-less wonton destruction.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Igrotzny
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2019
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Crispy Business

I visited a monastery and as I walked past the kitchen I saw a man frying chips.

I asked him "Are you the friar?"

He replied "No, i'm the chip monk."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/capngloval
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2019
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Every morning I wake up feeling like rice crispies

My body goes snap, crackle, pop

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dmharper80
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2019
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why does fried duck get golden, crispy and delicious?

the mallard reaction

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ulpisen
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2018
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I had crispy chickens at the local pub

They were very delicious bar tenders!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Quenoquesoporque
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2017
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It's criminal!

I opened a bag of Doritos and was about to start eating when I heard a tapping noise from inside the packet. I looked inside the bag and saw ane little Dorito on using a typewriter. 'What are you doing ?' I asked 'Shh, I'm writing a whodunit,' came the reply. 'Of course!' I exclaimed, 'you must be Agatha Crispie!'

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πŸ‘€︎ u/user_error101
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2021
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What's beige and his snorp craggle porp?

Rice Crispies and beer

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πŸ‘€︎ u/brickbaterang
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
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The mallard reaction
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cyndacyndaquill
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2020
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My grandmother is getting cremated in Kentucky.

Not sure if I should get original or extra crispy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/meltingXsnowman
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2020
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What do cats eat for breakfast?

Mice crispies

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JackTMJones
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2019
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What is a cat's favorite cereal?

Mice Crispies

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πŸ‘€︎ u/demiseofanubis
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2020
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A slice of apple pie is $2.50 in Jamaica and $3.00 in the Bahamas

These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iateaps4
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2019
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What is Thanos's favorite cereal?

Infinity pebbles

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hknewt
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2019
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Two guys were stranded in a desert.

The first guy was named Jim and the second guy was named Joe. They were starving, and dying of thirst. They kept walking in one direction hoping that they would get out of the desert before they died. They had been lost a long time, and it wasn't looking good.

Then, in a stroke of good luck, they found an oasis. In the oasis there was plenty of water and trees growing. On the trees, was every kind of bacon imaginable. Crispy bacon, soft bacon, even Canadian bacon (even though it doesn't really count). Joe says, "I'm going to go eat some bacon."

So Joe goes and gets some bacon out of a low tree.

Just as he takes his first bite, a gremlin jumps out of the foliage, and stabs him in the back with a knife.

Joe is laying on the ground dying, and his friend Jim comes up to him. Joe says in a warning, "Jim run away. It's not safe here!"

"Why not?" Jim asked.

"This oasis isn't what it seems! It isn't a bacon tree, IT'S A HAM-BUSH!!!"

And he died.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Xnightshade2
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2017
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I have always heard Col. Sanders was supposed to be cremated,

but his family couldn't figure out to go with original or extra crispy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CecilBlight
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2018
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At work the other day..

I work at KFC as a cashier and mid dinner rush last night a man came through drive through and so I asked how he wanted his chicken done as in Original, Crispy, Grilled, or Boneless. So in response to "how do you want your chicken?" he responded "Cooked of course!" and then I imagine him trying to high five whoever else was in the car with him

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dasbubbly
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2013
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Got my girlfriend pretty good after making cookies

Me: The cookies in the back got a little bit too crispy, I forgot to convect.

Her: Mmmm... Convection.

Me: You have no idea what convection is, do you?

Her: No, it's the thing with the fans in the oven.

Me: Yeah I had to put them in there, they kept asking for free t-shirts.

Commences groaning

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πŸ‘€︎ u/UncleJehmimah
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2014
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Gym teacher pulls a dad joke

I was in Elementary School at the time of this joke, and it still makes me chuckle thinking back on it. My teacher had us running a couple of laps around the school's grassy field. I always had breathing problems, what I'm assuming is mild asthma although it's never been diagnosed. I ran up to the teacher after running a few minutes and told him I lost my breath. He asked something along the lines of, "Well do you want help finding it?" He made the entire class search the ground for my breath. One equally sarcastic child brought me the empty wrapper to a Rice Crispy treat. Oh how I loved that teacher.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DarkSmarts
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2014
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"Wanna know what Rice University's mascot is?"

The Crispy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/josekony
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2013
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why does fried duck get golden, crispy and delicious?

the mallard reaction

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ulpisen
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2018
🚨︎ report
What do cats eat for breakfast?

Mice Crispies.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mosvicious
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2018
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