Throw him into a deep friar.
They go, "Snack, Popple, and Crap!"
He sets it on a plinth and tells the students they’re free to take a couple after class is over. Halfway through teaching the senpai or sensei’s assistant approaches and tells him he has an important phone call. He tells the class to find a partner and practice. He comes back fifteen minutes later and the plinth is knocked over, the bowl is in pieces and the wontons crushed and scattered about. He is dismayed that his students would engage in such sensei-less wonton destruction.
I visited a monastery and as I walked past the kitchen I saw a man frying chips.
I asked him "Are you the friar?"
He replied "No, i'm the chip monk."
My body goes snap, crackle, pop
the mallard reaction
They were very delicious bar tenders!
I opened a bag of Doritos and was about to start eating when I heard a tapping noise from inside the packet. I looked inside the bag and saw ane little Dorito on using a typewriter. 'What are you doing ?' I asked 'Shh, I'm writing a whodunit,' came the reply. 'Of course!' I exclaimed, 'you must be Agatha Crispie!'
Rice Crispies and beer
Not sure if I should get original or extra crispy.
These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
The first guy was named Jim and the second guy was named Joe. They were starving, and dying of thirst. They kept walking in one direction hoping that they would get out of the desert before they died. They had been lost a long time, and it wasn't looking good.
Then, in a stroke of good luck, they found an oasis. In the oasis there was plenty of water and trees growing. On the trees, was every kind of bacon imaginable. Crispy bacon, soft bacon, even Canadian bacon (even though it doesn't really count). Joe says, "I'm going to go eat some bacon."
So Joe goes and gets some bacon out of a low tree.
Just as he takes his first bite, a gremlin jumps out of the foliage, and stabs him in the back with a knife.
Joe is laying on the ground dying, and his friend Jim comes up to him. Joe says in a warning, "Jim run away. It's not safe here!"
"Why not?" Jim asked.
"This oasis isn't what it seems! It isn't a bacon tree, IT'S A HAM-BUSH!!!"
And he died.
but his family couldn't figure out to go with original or extra crispy.
I work at KFC as a cashier and mid dinner rush last night a man came through drive through and so I asked how he wanted his chicken done as in Original, Crispy, Grilled, or Boneless. So in response to "how do you want your chicken?" he responded "Cooked of course!" and then I imagine him trying to high five whoever else was in the car with him
Me: The cookies in the back got a little bit too crispy, I forgot to convect.
Her: Mmmm... Convection.
Me: You have no idea what convection is, do you?
Her: No, it's the thing with the fans in the oven.
Me: Yeah I had to put them in there, they kept asking for free t-shirts.
Commences groaning
I was in Elementary School at the time of this joke, and it still makes me chuckle thinking back on it. My teacher had us running a couple of laps around the school's grassy field. I always had breathing problems, what I'm assuming is mild asthma although it's never been diagnosed. I ran up to the teacher after running a few minutes and told him I lost my breath. He asked something along the lines of, "Well do you want help finding it?" He made the entire class search the ground for my breath. One equally sarcastic child brought me the empty wrapper to a Rice Crispy treat. Oh how I loved that teacher.
The Crispy.
the mallard reaction
