I'm worried that the supreme court will lack empathy now that Ginsburg is gone.

Without her they're ruthless.

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dudefaceguy_
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2020
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The owner of the Indianpolis Colts will be in trouble if he has to speak in court, because no matter what he says the judge will think...

That's Irsay.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dawsonju
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2021
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What do lawyers wear to court?

Lawsuits.

πŸ‘︎ 70
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πŸ‘€︎ u/daviscojokes
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2021
🚨︎ report
A man who took a airline to court for losing his luggage...

...has lost his case.

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a girl in the middle of a tennis court?

Annette

πŸ‘︎ 187
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spiderkc
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
In the French Court of Louis XIV, going to the bathroom happened all over the place, but loud farting was really stigmatized. So people experiencing gas had to rush to a specifically appointed room called the...

Toot Suite

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xrayhearing
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2021
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I was told not to eat the candy in court...

Those are judge mints

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
🚨︎ report
World renowned tongue twister champion was officially charged in court today

They gave him a tough sentence. He got off better than his accomplice, The semi-colon, who is in between two complete sentences.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/skycooper11
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s the best thing to wear to court?

A lawsuit

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlueFoxoonys
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the skirt do when it was in court?

It pleated guilty.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2021
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The deaf girl didn’t show up to her court case yesterday

She lost her hearing.

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EyeSayAye
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you know that Fruit of the Loom (TM) once took Hanes(TM) to court?

It was a BRIEF case.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BastetLXIX
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
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Took an airline company to court today after my luggage went missing

I lost the case

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigg_UN
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do court room stenographers talk loudly?

Because they’re hearing aides!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/schnaffoo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do lawsuits against sand and silt never make it to court?

Sediment always settles

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kgangadhar
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did Democratic senators boycott the nomination of the new Supreme Court justice?

They just couldn’t Barrett.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BornOfAVegan
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
🚨︎ report
I don't know what decisions the Supreme Court will make in 2021 but one thing is for sure...

They will be ruthless.

πŸ‘︎ 62
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hallsguide
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
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I’m representing a man in court today charged with tippexing all the full stops out of books.

I’m expecting a long sentence

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jepeggys
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
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The tall guy who tips off the ball to start basketball games was found deceased at mid-court...

Dead center.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
🚨︎ report
BREAKING: The Supreme Court ruled in favor of Dad Jokes.

They deemed it cool and amusable pun-ishment

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/clifwith1f
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2020
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(Too soon) looks the the Supreme Court is...

Ruthless

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MacSteele13
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2020
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I stole a lawyer’s underwear right before court.

There’s no way he’ll succeed without his legal briefs.

πŸ‘︎ 73
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IMadeItGuys
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2020
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He won't be allowed to court anyways
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πŸ‘€︎ u/moses10960
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Why can't beggers be allowed in court for selection to the Jury box like any other non felon citizen?

Cuz, beggers can't be choosers!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/imgprojts
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
🚨︎ report
A fish goes to court for murder

The fish is found β€œgill”ty

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/26SobbingHorses
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2020
🚨︎ report
The harsh reality of soup court v.redd.it/gb9mcsnnk9a51
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/observer2017
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did noone in the King's Court laugh when the King farted?

Because noble gases don't cause a reaction.

Credit to u/neitral-fella r/dadjokes doesn't allow crossposting but I thought it belonged here

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tricky_Nick007
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2020
🚨︎ report
The court released the suspect on the grounds of being on an armor show on the night of the murder ...

it was an ironclad alibi!

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/troy_lc
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Mario in court

Judge :I order you to pay 10,000$ Mario: why Judge: it’s a fine Mario : no itsa not

I didn’t come up with this just thought it was funny

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Elliott268
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Why was Helium in court?

He broke the law of gravity

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/StrijderMilan
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2020
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Why was the chicken held in contempt of court?

For laying under oath.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/emjay144
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2020
🚨︎ report
A student is arrested and brought to court for carrying a weapon to his morning lecture

Judge: Why did you bring a taser to your lecture?

Defendent: Well you see sir, I have a hard time getting up in the morning. But I’m not a big fan of soft drinks or coffee, so I thought the next best thing was to give me a good shock.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pumped_Pipe
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Judge: Order in the court!

Me: I'll have a cheeseburger and fries

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/invertedparadoxxx
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2020
🚨︎ report
[In court] Judge: After seeing all the evidence, I am sending you to jail.

Defendant: Say-you-did-what.

Judge: What did you say?

Defendant: Thanks for reversing my sentence.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Supreme Court
πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tjc72006
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2020
🚨︎ report
My Chinese friend has to go to court,

But I will fetch Himalaya

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShireSearcher
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2020
🚨︎ report
What do police officers wear to court?

Their lawsuits

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BigBoiBoots
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2020
🚨︎ report
The Supreme Court is still in session without Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

So far, their decisions have been ruthless.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DavideoandPhoto
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call the court jester who ate too much at the king's banquet?

Fool

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2020
🚨︎ report
The Energizer bunny’s wife is taking him to court.

He’s charged with battery

πŸ‘︎ 52
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πŸ‘€︎ u/frupp110
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2019
🚨︎ report
There should be a manly constipation medication called "Court Marshall."

"You are now relieved of duty!"

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PotBuzz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a woman standing in the middle of a tennis court?

Annette

πŸ‘︎ 39
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
🚨︎ report
What does a lawyer wear to court

A lawsuit

πŸ‘︎ 80
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2020
🚨︎ report
What type of underwear do lawyers wear to court?

Legal briefs

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IMadeItGuys
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I recently took an airline to court after my luggage didn’t turn up...

I lost my case.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wizzix
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2019
🚨︎ report
A man took an airline to court after they misplaced his luggage.

He lost his case

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2020
🚨︎ report

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