It's called, "Do You Have The Skillet Takes?!"
Me: I usually cook bacon on a Foreman Grill.
Dad: This is a Foreman.
Me: Huh?
Dad: pointing at himself It's FOR MAN.
I told her she would roux the day.
It worked well. The hot dogs were delicious.
My stay-at-home wife came in earlier and asked what I wanted for dinner. "I don't know... You pick, you're cooking it after all."
A few minutes later she comes in with a frying pan. "Here ya go!"
It was a piece of paper. With the words "I don't know" written on both sides.
... Smartass, lol.
I answered: "It is, but only margarinely more."
Note: this really happened.
Mom: check the bacon in the oven
Dad: still bacon!
Set in Northern China, this movie follows the rite of passage of a jaded, aimless Chinese chef who falls in love with a worn out cooking pan that he and his friends once scorned. The two develop a powerful and inspirational relationship in which they discover truths about cooking that take most people a lifetime to learn. It's called A Wok to Remember
Here is a screenshot. Me and my girlfriend were texting each other:
Her: One day I do want to try having sex with a girl just to see what it's like, but I think I'm just really open minded about it. Or I'm pansexual which my dad thinks I am.
Me: -I send her a picture of a frying pan- So does this turn you on? I knew you liked cooking, but I didn't know they had a word for it.
Her: I'm gonna kill you -_-
My wife was just babywearing our 11-week-old while she cooked dinner. As she did so, she was having a conversation both with our daughter and all the utensils.
"See, all the food in the pan is going sizzle sizzle sizzle! And we use Mr. Spatula to move it around. Say hi to Mr. Spatula! And then once it's done, we're going to put into Mr. Strainer. Can you say hi to Mr. Strainer?"
"Hey!", I interjected, "Absolutely not! Don't you go teaching her to talk to strainers!"
Dad: "I'll have the steak diane"
Waitress: "How do you want that cooked?"
Dad: "like this" pretends to be shaking a frying pan whilst making sizzling noises
Waitress: Genuinely laughs
I (husband) am good at making egg dishes for breakfast. Me and the wifey were talking about the first time I met her family, when I made them an omelette with goat cheese and spinach. They were all very impressed.
Wifey: "My parents never cooked like that when I was growing up. For them, it was just egg on the pan, egg on the plate."
Me: "I can see how that would be unpleasant, especially if they didn't crack the shells first."
I work at Goodwill, and while I was working register a customer came up to pay.
He placed a frying pan on the counter, and casually said, "Hey man. What's cooking?"
His significant other just rolled her eyes and walked off. We laughed like maniacs.
