The immaculate conception? The Holy Spirit was in the womb where it happened.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/innerstrife
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
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If I was a teacher I would want my last name to be conception

So my students would call me Miss Conception

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brotched_Nut
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2019
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Have you heard about Ozzy Osbourne’s new concept album about Donald Trump’s attack of gastric flu?

It’s called Diarrhoea of a Madman

I dun made dat un up mah-self

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tony-2112
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2021
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Albert Einstein created many concepts for modern physics.

His brother, Frank, however, created a monster.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
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Is infinity odd or even?

Oddly enough, it's even. But even so, it's still an odd concept.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Merlin-5
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2021
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I love the concept of infinity.

I could talk about it forever.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ryanooooo
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
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I went to the rock-wall place but my debit card was declined, so I had to pay with the coins in my car’s center console.

It was my climb-it change.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CarterLawler
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
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Have you heard about the new game getting released? It’s AI is 20 years ahead of it’s time, graphics are truly real life, an open world concept where anything you want to do is truly possible. It’s called:

Go outside and ride your bike

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jvanzandd
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2020
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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "You are in here a lot, do you think you have a drinking problem?"

The horse says, "I don't think so," then disappears into nothing.

This is the point in time when all the philosophy students in the audience begin to giggle, as they are familiar with the philosophical proposition of Cogito ergo sum, or I think, therefore, I am. The classic philosophy put forward by RenΓ© Descartes.

But to explain the concept aforehand would be putting Descartes before the horse.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bearfeedmitch
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2020
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I was going to build a house made out of books...

But it was too novel a concept

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
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My friend showed me his plans to produce a machine that makes pennies. At first, his concept didn't plausible...

Now it all makes cents.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2019
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The death penalty isn't a bad idea in concept, but...

I'm not happy with the execution.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Prom3th3an
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
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We all think that e-commerce is such a new concept, but babies have always been delivered.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shagminer
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
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I'm trying to get away from the concept of gravity

But it keeps pulling me in

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BackyZoo
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2019
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Before my surgery my anaesthetist offered to knock me out with gas or a boat paddle.

It was an ether/oar situation.

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/drozzi007
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2019
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I know that sexual harassment of geometric concepts is a bad thing.

But damn that is a fine line.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thegreger
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2019
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I don't grassp the concept
πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kluferfmernder
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2018
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Whoever invented the concept of zero

Thanks for nothing

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/michaelveyrocks
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2019
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Look att this cool thumbnail concept
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/YEETMYMEETNIBBA
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2018
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Customer: I have a question about the menu please.

Server: slaps customer THE MEN I PLEASE ARE NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HIGHxCLASSxHOBO
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
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[Meta] The real purpose of dad jokes

Back in the before times, when sit-down restaurants existed, I used to order boneless cheese sticks and would just throw the word "boneless" in front of any appetizer with 100% corniness. The purpose of this isn't to make a good joke. It's not a good joke. The purpose is to make my dining companions catch some cringe splash damage and want to crawl into a hole and die out of embarrassment for my being horribly corny.

But there is a real, deeper purpose that I've discovered entirely by accident. People, especially young people, are so self-conscious and worried about saying or doing something embarrassing that it taints a lot of social gatherings. They go to a restaurant and are afraid to speak up even when their order is blatantly wrong. They'll tip well even when the food took an hour to arrive and the server has disappeared into the corn stalks behind a baseball field. It takes 2 hours of hanging out together before some friends finally stop nitpicking themselves, uncomfortable in their own bodies and brains, feeling perpetually judged, and begin to relax. These are the kinds of people who go to sleep every night replaying cringey moments from high school. Their last thought of the day is when the Burger King girl said, "Enjoy your meal!" and they said, "Thanks, you too."

It takes 2 hours and/or a lot of booze before they're comfortable enough to take conversational risks and truly reveal themselves. But if I come right out of the gate with a really dumb joke, then we can cut to the chase. There's less danger because someone in the group already shot themselves in the foot, right off the bat. They pulled a pin on the cringe grenade and then jumped on it.

You cringe at my dumb joke and then we're over the hump. Someone has already done something pretty stupid, so go ahead and order the hubcap of nachos and a massive chocolate shake because nobody is going to judge you poorly while they're all judging me.

In terms of price negotiations (haggling), there is a psychological concept called "anchoring". You throw out the first number and all subsequent numbers are compared to that number. This is the same idea. We've already set the humor standard pretty low at "boneless cheese sticks", so you can say the dumbest shit you want and, as long as it's not worse than my cheesy joke, it won't matter.

This is why, when you were a teenager and your dad took you and some friends out, your dad made corny jokes. He knew they were corny jokes. You and your friends un

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Permatato
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2020
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The whole concept of "opacity" is very unclear to me.

I don't get it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PicturElements
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2014
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The Code of Hammurabi, written on a stele, includes the concept of innocent before guilty

It is truly a momental piece in legal history.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pun-isher42
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2019
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What do you call a disease affecting crows?

CROW-VID-19

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anonymous8776
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2020
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What do you call a death sentence gone wrong?

Good concept, bad execution.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ElephantsAreHuge
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2020
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Might result in in-bread kids.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2018
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My apologies, the concept behind this joke is 100% β€œgross ewe”...

144 female sheep.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Freklred
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2018
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to the concept of cooked bread

I propose a toast

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dissentiment
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2016
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What is probably the least friendly mathematical concept?

The mean!

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/eric67
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2016
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9 months from now babies will be born.

They will be conceived through Irma-culate conception.

πŸ‘︎ 201
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Oacma
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2017
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How did humans come up with the concept of time?

They put in the hours.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spartacats
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2017
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Some kids have no concept of fantasy metamorphosis.

So I'm at Costco picking up the hot dog meal I had added to my order at the checkout. The girl at the food court register yells to the guy working in the back, "Hey! Can you make me a hot dog?"

I looked at her dead serious, waved my spirit fingers, and said, "POOF! YOU'RE A HOT DOG!"

.... She didn't get it. Kids these days...

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NGinuity
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2015
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Will transparent coffins be a success?

Remains to be seen.

πŸ‘︎ 793
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hughdman
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2018
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At 19, my boyfriend is a master of dad jokes.

Me: I had to run some errands today and the area I was in was so sketchy I thought I was going die.

Him: Well it's a good thing you weren't walking errands, or someone might've caught you.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shercocked
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2013
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500 bricks on an airplane and one falls off. How many are left?

((To be played back and forth with a friend as questions and answers))

[499.]

What are the three steps to putting an elephant in a refrigerator? [1. Open door. 2. Put elephant in. 3. Close door.]

What are the four steps to putting a giraffe in a refrigerator? [1. Open door. 2. Remove elephant. 3. Put giraffe in. 4. Close door.]

All the animals attend a birthday party for the king of the jungle, except one. Who didn’t attend? [The giraffe. He’s still in the refrigerator.]

A girl swims across an alligator infested river, but safely makes it to the other side. How was that possible? [All the alligators were at the birthday party.]

The girls still dies though, how come? [The one brick from the airplane fell on her head.]

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DaShMa_
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2018
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Today we tried teaching my six month old son how to hold things.

But he wasn’t grasping the concept.

πŸ‘︎ 84
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Trentertained
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2019
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Did you guys hear about that 14-year old virgin girl who got pregnant after receiving the flu vaccine?

Sounds like an inoculate conception

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gamerfather
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2017
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My 5 y/o dadjoked me

Son: This candy taste like life.

Me: What?

Son : Because it is hard.

I have no idea where he got that concept from.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2015
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If you're sick of the weather...

...then you could say that you're under the weather of the weather which would be the same as saying that you're over the weather.

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheJoePilato
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2016
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So I was sitting in my physics class...

and my teacher starts counting wavelengths to help us learn a concept. "One lambda, two lambda, three lambda" suddenly I chime in "man, I thought I was the only one trying to fall asleep here". My teacher looked at me obviously ready to scold me but before he does I proudly explain myself "Get it? Like counting sheep!". Believe me, the groan my classmates gave me was one for the ages.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/myusernamestinks
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2014
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My work is complete....

We were at the dinner table with my adult children and my son said he was teaching his physics class the concept of simple machines. He had given the class a brief intro about their usefulness and how they can be found everywhere. Then he asked the students to come up with all the examples they could think of.

My daughter, barely containing herself to wait for a pause in the conversation, said with only the slightest of grins, "So the lesson would be 50 ways to love your lever?"

My dadness has been passed on. Nothing left for me to do here.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/randommillenium
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2018
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Books. What a novel concept
πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nexus_Avatar
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2018
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Is infinity odd or even?

Oddly enough, it's even. But even so, it's still an odd concept.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2019
🚨︎ report

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