The immaculate conception? The Holy Spirit was in the womb where it happened.
๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/innerstrife
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
If I was a teacher I would want my last name to be conception

So my students would call me Miss Conception

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Brotched_Nut
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 14 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Have you heard about Ozzy Osbourneโ€™s new concept album about Donald Trumpโ€™s attack of gastric flu?

Itโ€™s called Diarrhoea of a Madman

I dun made dat un up mah-self

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Tony-2112
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 23 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Albert Einstein created many concepts for modern physics.

His brother, Frank, however, created a monster.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/sarcasticpremed
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Is infinity odd or even?

Oddly enough, it's even. But even so, it's still an odd concept.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 24
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Merlin-5
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 09 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I love the concept of infinity.

I could talk about it forever.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 15
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ryanooooo
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I went to the rock-wall place but my debit card was declined, so I had to pay with the coins in my carโ€™s center console.

It was my climb-it change.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 20
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/CarterLawler
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Have you heard about the new game getting released? Itโ€™s AI is 20 years ahead of itโ€™s time, graphics are truly real life, an open world concept where anything you want to do is truly possible. Itโ€™s called:

Go outside and ride your bike

๐Ÿ‘︎ 7
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/jvanzandd
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 25 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "You are in here a lot, do you think you have a drinking problem?"

The horse says, "I don't think so," then disappears into nothing.

This is the point in time when all the philosophy students in the audience begin to giggle, as they are familiar with the philosophical proposition of Cogito ergo sum, or I think, therefore, I am. The classic philosophy put forward by Renรฉ Descartes.

But to explain the concept aforehand would be putting Descartes before the horse.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 11k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/bearfeedmitch
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 05 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I was going to build a house made out of books...

But it was too novel a concept

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/hotsprings1234
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My friend showed me his plans to produce a machine that makes pennies. At first, his concept didn't plausible...

Now it all makes cents.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 13
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/thomasbrakeline
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 04 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
The death penalty isn't a bad idea in concept, but...

I'm not happy with the execution.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 13
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Prom3th3an
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
We all think that e-commerce is such a new concept, but babies have always been delivered.
๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/shagminer
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I'm trying to get away from the concept of gravity

But it keeps pulling me in

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/BackyZoo
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 07 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Before my surgery my anaesthetist offered to knock me out with gas or a boat paddle.

It was an ether/oar situation.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/drozzi007
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 10 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I know that sexual harassment of geometric concepts is a bad thing.

But damn that is a fine line.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/thegreger
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 19 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I don't grassp the concept
๐Ÿ‘︎ 28
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/kluferfmernder
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 04 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Whoever invented the concept of zero

Thanks for nothing

๐Ÿ‘︎ 9
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/michaelveyrocks
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 28 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Look att this cool thumbnail concept
๐Ÿ‘︎ 8
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/YEETMYMEETNIBBA
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 05 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Customer: I have a question about the menu please.

Server: slaps customer THE MEN I PLEASE ARE NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!

๐Ÿ‘︎ 1k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/HIGHxCLASSxHOBO
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
[Meta] The real purpose of dad jokes

Back in the before times, when sit-down restaurants existed, I used to order boneless cheese sticks and would just throw the word "boneless" in front of any appetizer with 100% corniness. The purpose of this isn't to make a good joke. It's not a good joke. The purpose is to make my dining companions catch some cringe splash damage and want to crawl into a hole and die out of embarrassment for my being horribly corny.

But there is a real, deeper purpose that I've discovered entirely by accident. People, especially young people, are so self-conscious and worried about saying or doing something embarrassing that it taints a lot of social gatherings. They go to a restaurant and are afraid to speak up even when their order is blatantly wrong. They'll tip well even when the food took an hour to arrive and the server has disappeared into the corn stalks behind a baseball field. It takes 2 hours of hanging out together before some friends finally stop nitpicking themselves, uncomfortable in their own bodies and brains, feeling perpetually judged, and begin to relax. These are the kinds of people who go to sleep every night replaying cringey moments from high school. Their last thought of the day is when the Burger King girl said, "Enjoy your meal!" and they said, "Thanks, you too."

It takes 2 hours and/or a lot of booze before they're comfortable enough to take conversational risks and truly reveal themselves. But if I come right out of the gate with a really dumb joke, then we can cut to the chase. There's less danger because someone in the group already shot themselves in the foot, right off the bat. They pulled a pin on the cringe grenade and then jumped on it.

You cringe at my dumb joke and then we're over the hump. Someone has already done something pretty stupid, so go ahead and order the hubcap of nachos and a massive chocolate shake because nobody is going to judge you poorly while they're all judging me.

In terms of price negotiations (haggling), there is a psychological concept called "anchoring". You throw out the first number and all subsequent numbers are compared to that number. This is the same idea. We've already set the humor standard pretty low at "boneless cheese sticks", so you can say the dumbest shit you want and, as long as it's not worse than my cheesy joke, it won't matter.

This is why, when you were a teenager and your dad took you and some friends out, your dad made corny jokes. He knew they were corny jokes. You and your friends un

... keep reading on reddit โžก

๐Ÿ‘︎ 141
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Permatato
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 18 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
The whole concept of "opacity" is very unclear to me.

I don't get it.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 114
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/PicturElements
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 23 2014
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
The Code of Hammurabi, written on a stele, includes the concept of innocent before guilty

It is truly a momental piece in legal history.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Pun-isher42
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 14 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What do you call a disease affecting crows?

CROW-VID-19

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Anonymous8776
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 29 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What do you call a death sentence gone wrong?

Good concept, bad execution.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 14
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ElephantsAreHuge
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 20 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Might result in in-bread kids.
๐Ÿ‘︎ 121
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 14 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My apologies, the concept behind this joke is 100% โ€œgross eweโ€...

144 female sheep.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Freklred
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 25 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
to the concept of cooked bread

I propose a toast

๐Ÿ‘︎ 8
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Dissentiment
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 29 2016
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Did you hear about the chef's concept for egg-free, safe-to-eat cookie dough?

I thought it was kind of a half-baked idea.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 14 2015
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What is probably the least friendly mathematical concept?

The mean!

๐Ÿ‘︎ 10
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/eric67
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 02 2016
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
9 months from now babies will be born.

They will be conceived through Irma-culate conception.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 201
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Oacma
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 08 2017
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
How did humans come up with the concept of time?

They put in the hours.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Spartacats
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 14 2017
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Some kids have no concept of fantasy metamorphosis.

So I'm at Costco picking up the hot dog meal I had added to my order at the checkout. The girl at the food court register yells to the guy working in the back, "Hey! Can you make me a hot dog?"

I looked at her dead serious, waved my spirit fingers, and said, "POOF! YOU'RE A HOT DOG!"

.... She didn't get it. Kids these days...

๐Ÿ‘︎ 9
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/NGinuity
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 08 2015
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Will transparent coffins be a success?

Remains to be seen.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 793
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/hughdman
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 19 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
At 19, my boyfriend is a master of dad jokes.

Me: I had to run some errands today and the area I was in was so sketchy I thought I was going die.

Him: Well it's a good thing you weren't walking errands, or someone might've caught you.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 357
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/shercocked
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 29 2013
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
500 bricks on an airplane and one falls off. How many are left?

((To be played back and forth with a friend as questions and answers))

[499.]

What are the three steps to putting an elephant in a refrigerator? [1. Open door. 2. Put elephant in. 3. Close door.]

What are the four steps to putting a giraffe in a refrigerator? [1. Open door. 2. Remove elephant. 3. Put giraffe in. 4. Close door.]

All the animals attend a birthday party for the king of the jungle, except one. Who didnโ€™t attend? [The giraffe. Heโ€™s still in the refrigerator.]

A girl swims across an alligator infested river, but safely makes it to the other side. How was that possible? [All the alligators were at the birthday party.]

The girls still dies though, how come? [The one brick from the airplane fell on her head.]

๐Ÿ‘︎ 251
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/DaShMa_
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 11 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Today we tried teaching my six month old son how to hold things.

But he wasnโ€™t grasping the concept.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 85
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Trentertained
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 19 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Did you guys hear about that 14-year old virgin girl who got pregnant after receiving the flu vaccine?

Sounds like an inoculate conception

๐Ÿ‘︎ 13
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/gamerfather
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 25 2017
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My 5 y/o dadjoked me

Son: This candy taste like life.

Me: What?

Son : Because it is hard.

I have no idea where he got that concept from.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 29 2015
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
If you're sick of the weather...

...then you could say that you're under the weather of the weather which would be the same as saying that you're over the weather.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 30
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/TheJoePilato
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 01 2016
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
So I was sitting in my physics class...

and my teacher starts counting wavelengths to help us learn a concept. "One lambda, two lambda, three lambda" suddenly I chime in "man, I thought I was the only one trying to fall asleep here". My teacher looked at me obviously ready to scold me but before he does I proudly explain myself "Get it? Like counting sheep!". Believe me, the groan my classmates gave me was one for the ages.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 1k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/myusernamestinks
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 05 2014
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My work is complete....

We were at the dinner table with my adult children and my son said he was teaching his physics class the concept of simple machines. He had given the class a brief intro about their usefulness and how they can be found everywhere. Then he asked the students to come up with all the examples they could think of.

My daughter, barely containing herself to wait for a pause in the conversation, said with only the slightest of grins, "So the lesson would be 50 ways to love your lever?"

My dadness has been passed on. Nothing left for me to do here.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 10
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/randommillenium
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 28 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Books. What a novel concept
๐Ÿ‘︎ 11
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Nexus_Avatar
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 24 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Is infinity odd or even?

Oddly enough, it's even. But even so, it's still an odd concept.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 10k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/thomasbrakeline
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 06 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.