My mom played the clarinet in high school. She mentioned she wanted to play again, but doesn't have the money to waste on it. I ordered one for her birthday and left her a subtle clue.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MetalJunkie101
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2020
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My son looked at me with a silly grin and asked, "What do you and an antique door have in common?" I shrugged and replied, "I haven't a clue, what?" He explained...

"You're both worth more than you used to be, even though you're unhinged and your knobs don't work!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
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My uncle worked for a newspaper's crossword puzzle team, but only contributed one awesome clue in his career...

He was a one-hint wonder!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2020
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World of Warcraft introduced a scavenger hunt to find a secret item that involved hundreds if not thousands of people in a Discord spending days and days scouring the entire world for little clues.

The secret reward is called Waist of Time.

Well played, Blizzard, well played.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DarthEwok42
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2018
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Help!! Creative Minds Needed!!

My Dad has recently shown a fascination with space and NASA. Long story short, Christmas is coming up and my plan is to surprise him with an all expense paid trip to Florida for 4 days with passes to the Kennedy Space Center. I’d schedule it around a launch so he would be able to see it in person. As well as checking out the area a bit since we’re there.

Which is where I need your help! I want to coordinate hints with presents that slightly hint at the trip. For example, I picked out a NASA tshirt, a space shuttle plush toy, assorted astronaut ice cream, socks that have planets and a rocket on them, mug that says β€œcoolest dad in the galaxy,” a map/atlas of florida, and luggage tags. And the final gift I’m thinking will be a letter that puts all the clues together and would include the plane tickets, car rental agreement, hotel confirmation, and the admission tickets in an envelope.

Can anyone give me ideas on what hints to use??

  • I’m still adding/taking away present ideas so if anyone has any better ideas please let me know!!

Thank you so much!! Any type of help is appreciated!! I don’t really have that β€œcreative” part of the mind... whether it be a rhyme or dad joke-y type hint, it doesn’t matter!

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
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This is a series of dad jokes that all relate to each other and form a dad joke story so bear with me.

How do you kill a blue elephant? (How?) With a blue elephant gun.

How you you kill a pink elephant? (With a pink elephant gun?) No, you hold its trunk til it turns blue then shoot it with the blue elephant gun

Why do elephants paint their toenails red? (No clue...?) So they can hide in cherry trees

Have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? (Of course not) Then clearly it works

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kriskidd21
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
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I made up a racist joke.

A cyclist, a swimmer, a jockey, and a greyhound all walk into a bar.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/oninekko
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2015
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Decided to tell my parents some good news with a dad joke

"So, do you have to work on Labor Day this year?"

"No, we both have off."

"Did you hear they're changing it next year?"

"What?"

"Yeah, they're moving it to April."

Looks of confusion

"At least that's what my doctor said."

The dawning of comprehension on their faces, then big smiles and hugs!

..... Btw, I am a woman. I didn't specify in the post, but the context clue would be "MY doctor." I was just raised on sarcasm and corny jokes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bonnieisstillhot
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2016
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A guy walks into a coffee shop, goes the counter and asks, β€œSo what’s the special?” The barista shakes her head, β€œI can’t tell you, it’s a secret.”

The man frowns. β€œWhat do you mean it’s a secret? What’s the special today? Is it a latte?”

The barista shakes her head.

β€œA mocha?”

She shakes her head again.

β€œOh, come on! Tell me! A cappuccino?”

She shakes her head.

β€œAn affogato?”

She shakes her head.

The man is getting frustrated at this point. β€œCan you at least give me a clue!?”

The barista thinks for a moment, then points at a jar on the counter. β€œOk, the special is in this jar.”

β€œWhat is it?”

β€œI can’t tell you. It’s a secret.”

The man, enraged at this point, tries to grab the jar.

The barista grabs it too.

They fight for control and the man wretches it away only for the jar to fall on the ground and its contents spill out onto the floor.

The man stares, β€œIt’s just been normal coffee this whole time?!”

The barista shrugs, β€œI guess you spilled the beans.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2019
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The Joke that caused my dad to be "randomly selected for a drug test" at work.

To give a little background: My dad was a truck driver at the time, and he never saw something on the side of the road or that had a "free" sign on it that he could drive by without at least taking a look. My brother in law was a sheriff's deputy. He told this joke to my neighbor, I will try to do it justice.

My dad, his dispatcher(DIS), and lady neighbor(LN) are outside talking and it goes something like this:

Dad: Ugh, What a f--king week. I can not believe it.

LN: What happened?

Dad: I was in Georgia and I saw this cooler in the far corner of the rest area, just as you're about to leave. I looked around and I didn't see anyone... So I figured someone had forgotten it on their picnic... It was a nice ass cooler too. Igloo brand with the heavy duty wheels. It was beautiful.

LN: Let me guess, you took it and the food that was in it?

Dad: Oh god I wish, It was a nice cooler. So, I go over and I'm still looking around in case the owners are still there. So I get to the cooler and I'm thinking "jackpot." The outside looks amazing. So, I go to open it up to see if whatever is inside is salvageable or if i needed to throw it out. I open it up and I jumped back and screamed.

LN: What was in it?

Dad: FEET. HUMAN FEET. I'm thinking what the hell did I just stu...

LN: NU-UH, ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?!?!

Dad: YES I'M SERIOUS.. So by this time, I'm seriously freaking out and I have no clue what to do. I nearly passed the f--k out. I had no idea what I should do.

LN: (with her hands over her mouth in horror) OMG, WHAT DID YOU DO?

Dad: Well, you know my son-in-law is a police officer in Florida..

LN: mmhmm

Dad: Well, I didn't know what to do so I called him.

LN: What did he tell you to do?!

Dad: Call a tow truck.

LN: ....what?

Dad: Get it, toe truck?!

LN: YOU'RE SUCH AN ASS. OMG I HATE YOU.

DIS: Oh, look at that, M*****, I just got word from the office that you're up for this month's random drug test.

Edit: Formatting errors, sorry guys!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/heythereanny
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2015
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My brother received board games for his birthday!

He got a Clue and a Life! He now owns a Monopoly of board games in his house!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2019
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Sudden Urge to get Naked

(x-post from /r/TalesFromRetail)
[was told I should post it here as well]

This happened shortly after I started back to work in retail.

My grocery shift had just started and I was about to begin facing one end of an aisle when I spotted a man in his mid to late 30s at the other end of the aisle. We made eye contact and he made a beeline straight for me.

Me: "Hi. How are you today?"
Him: "Do you know what to do if you get a sudden urge to strip off all your clothes and run around naked in public?"

Now, at this moment, I'm not sure what's happening. I can't pick up any clues from his body language that would indicate where this conversation is going to go. I'm a wee bit concerned that this man is about to start taking off his clothes in front of me. Not exactly what I had planned for the day. He's staring at me intently, waiting for a reply. I don't want to spook him, so I do the only thing I can think of and that's just to stand there and stare at him silently.

After a few seconds, he says to me "Just spray yourself down with Windex. It prevents streaking. Have a nice day!"

He grins and walks away. I started laughing (a little too hysterically ... mostly because of relief).

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πŸ‘€︎ u/unicorn_brew
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2014
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Dadjoked while watching the news

Friday after work, just sitting down to dinner with my dad, the news is showing on the TV. A story comes on about body parts that were found in a river recently. The police are appealing to anyone who recognises a tattoo thats on the forearm close to the hand, to come forward and help the police with their investigation.

My dad turns to me with a huge grin on his face and says, "Well, I guess that's a pretty handy clue to have".

Nice work dad.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JanskiGG
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2015
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Cemetery Dad joke.

Me and my dad drove by a cemetery and he says "How many people are dead in there?". I said "I have no clue". He than said "All of them".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KIMrPickle
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2014
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Father in law on fire this Sunday afternoon

Doing a crossword with my father in law and mother in law. He told me that he completed The Times crossword (which is apparently one of the hardest crosswords) the other day all except one clue. Mother in law says "go on then darling tell me the clue I bet I'll work it out" He says the clue is "heavily laden postman" She says "how many letters" He says "hundreds and hundreds I should think" Dead

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πŸ‘€︎ u/megpuss21
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2016
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Was helping my grandpa clean out his wood shop when I found an odd old tool.

Me: "Whats this weird old tool".

Grandpa: "Oh, hell, be really careful with that. I have a friend that would pay 500 dollars just to see that tool in action."

Me: (Suddenly excited/intrigued) "Really?!? Why is that?" Grandpa: "Because... He's... Blind (chuckles)".

I still have no clue what the tool is/does...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hawgear
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2013
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Dadjoked by lecturer

Talking about particle detectors he asked the audience what gases were used in them. No-one has a clue.

"So... I guess that's hard to gas"

I was the only one laughing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sup3r_hero
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2015
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The "Philogelos" is a collection of ancient Roman dad jokes

"Philogelos" or "The Laughter Lover" is a collection of 265 ancient Roman jokes, written in the 4th century AD. Some of them feel... very appropriate for this sub:

  • A boy caught sight of a deep well on his country-estate, and asked if the water was any good. The farmhands assured him that it was good, and that his own parents used to drink from that well. The boy expressed his amazement: "How long were their necks, if they could drink from something so deep!"

  • When a boy was told by someone, "Your beard is now coming in," he went to the rear-entrance and waited for it.

  • A boy checked in on the parents of a dead classmate. The father was wailing: "O son, you have left me a cripple!" The mother was crying: "O son, you have taken the light from my eyes!" Later, the boy suggested to his friends: "Well, if he were guilty of all that, he probably deserved to die!"

  • A boy came to check in on a friend who was seriously ill. When the man's wife said that he had 'departed', the intellectual replied: "When he arrives back, will you tell him that I stopped by?"

  • A boy had been at a wedding-reception. As he was leaving, he said: "What a wonderful ceremony! I pray that your next marriages are as enjoyable as this one."

  • A man met his friend in the street, who said: "Congratulations! I hear that you've got a new baby boy!" The man replied: "Indeed, but I'm still trying to find the father!"

  • A man saw a eunuch talking with a woman and asked him if she was his wife. When he replied that eunuchs can't have wives, the man asked: "So is she your daughter?"

  • A man was being heckled by a friend: "I had your wife, without paying a dime!" The man replied: "It's my duty as a husband to couple with such a monstrosity. What made you do it?'

  • An incompetent schoolteacher was asked who the mother of Priam was. Not knowing the answer, he said: "Well, I suppose it's polite to call her Ma'am."

  • A man, just back from a trip abroad, went to an incompetent fortune-teller. He asked about his family, and the fortune-teller replied: "Everyone is fine, especially your father." When the man objected that his father had been dead for ten years, the reply came: "Ah, then you must have no clue who your real father is!"

  • A misogynist paid his last respects at the tomb of his dead wife. When someone asked him, "Who has gone to rest?," he replied: "Me, at last!"

You can find more here and [here](http://publishing.y

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AttalusPius
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2016
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Guess who?

In the car my dad and I were listening to a classic rock station, and he asked me to guess who was playing on the station, I said I don't know, and he replied "Guess Who?" I took this as an invitation to guess, but I really had no clue. This continued for a good 20 minutes before he finally got tired of it and told me the band was The Guess Who.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boblikespie1
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2014
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