One administrator of Cloud City struck a New Deal with the Empire: Franklin DeLando Roosevelt
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheMus3
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
🚨︎ report
You know what a fight between Cloud Strife and Hero is Smash is called...

A square off!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2021
🚨︎ report
What do clouds wear underneath their pants?

Thunderwear... With a silver lining

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/onetwopi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2021
🚨︎ report
What do clouds wear under their shorts?

Thunderpants

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LordCinko
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2021
🚨︎ report
What does a heavy rain cloud wear underneath?

Thunder-wear

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bunkabaab
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2021
🚨︎ report
What does a cloud do when it gets an itch?

It finds the nearest skyscraper.

πŸ‘︎ 128
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πŸ‘€︎ u/b0rs
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Just had an argument with a cloud.

We came to a thunderstanding.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheAmazingSoSo
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
🚨︎ report
What does that cloud look like to you, son?

It looks like rain to me.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/modell92
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
🚨︎ report
What does a cloud wear under his raincoat ?

Thunderwear

πŸ‘︎ 86
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
🚨︎ report
The wife's just told me that she's thinking of going as a cloud this Halloween.

"Surely you can't be cirrus?" I said to her.

πŸ‘︎ 80
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2020
🚨︎ report
What happened to the cloud when he came home from the party?

His parents gave him an airful.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Asadleafsfan
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
🚨︎ report
What kind of shorts do clouds put on?

Thunderwear

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/infinitywee
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Is difficult to distinguish between cirrus, stratus, and cumulus clouds...

...especially since most of the time they are in de-skies.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I never get jokes about low flying clouds.

There's always something I've mist.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/midget_clown
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Cum..ulus cloud
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TizzioCaio
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Moses had the first tablet that could connect to the cloud.

But that tablet only had 10 commands.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MacItaly
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife emailed me our wedding photos, but I couldn’t open any of the files.

I always have trouble with emotional attachments.

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the raindrop say to the cloud that went off course?

β€œWater you doing?”

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/3eemo
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
🚨︎ report
I walked in on my wife yelling that she hated low lying clouds...

I hadn’t the foggiest idea what I mist.

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ruminino
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a cloud that looks like a mermaid?

Aerial

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the cloud say when it was getting robbed?

β€œIt sure is muggy out”

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2020
🚨︎ report
A disgruntled Google Cloud employee asked me for advice on how he could get back at his boss. I told him...

"Don't forget to tip your server."

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/-taco-rice-
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear the one about the cloud?

It was all over town..

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DatBoyCold
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I don't like clouds...

They're always throwing shade.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/asgeorge
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Cloud storage
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KnightB3ar
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2019
🚨︎ report
When Hurricane Dorian hits Florida, I'm going to check out my window for the clouds to get really grey. When they're at peak greyness I'll take a picture. That way Ill always have The Picture of Dorian Grey.
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2019
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Hey dad, I just uploaded all your photos to the cloud.

dad runs outside and looks up at the sky WHICH ONE?!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Ya know, I saw superhero on the street once, he was in line for a hotdog, read this guys mind and saw that his head was in the clouds, and he just pushed in front of him!

If you ask me, that was pretty telepathetic of him.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NukulerNicky
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do clouds look like farts?

Because they're in the ass-mosphere

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FlumeHound9
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Why was the cloud so dark and stormy?

It was feeling mis-thunder-stood

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Satolah
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Since vampires are supposedly hurt by holy water, I always wondered why priests don’t just say a prayer over every storm cloud, kill the vampires from above. Then I realized why there are so many vampires from Europe...

Someone already blessed the rains down in Africa.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JuIius_Seizure95
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2018
🚨︎ report
What did the cumulus cloud say to the rain cloud?

”You get a precipitation trophy!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kirkatia98
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Where did Noah keep a record of his bees?

In the ark hives

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RayInRed
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2020
🚨︎ report
If you store data in the cloud and it rains, is that considered a data leak?
πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rencas79
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2017
🚨︎ report
This story is about a man called Trevor, and his obsession with tractors.

Trevor loved tractors. And I mean, really loved tractors. Forget any obsessions or high-level interests you may have, chances are they pale in the face of Trevor’s love for tractors.

Every day Trevor would get up, in his tractor-themed bedroom in his tractor-themed house, with its tractor-themed wallpaper and tractor-themed carpets, and he would make his bed with its tractor-themed duvet and tractor-themed sheets. He would go downstairs in his tractor-themed pajamas into his tractor-themed kitchen, with its tractor-themed tiles and cupboards, and he would eat his breakfast while perusing the latest tractor-themed magazine or annual.

Trevors’s degree in Agricultural Engineering hung on his living room wall, along with a copy of his thesis, which centred around (you guessed it) tractors. The living room was decorated with all sorts of tractor-related trinkets, including die-cast models, paintings and drawings.

The hedges in Trevor’s front garden were trimmed in the shape of tractors. His lawn was vividly decorated with tractor-driving garden gnomes, and his garden furniture was constructed from various parts from vintage tractor designs.

Trevor just had one thing missing from his otherwise tractor-centric life; he had never actually owned, nor driven, a real tractor.

Not for his lack of trying, of course. Trevor had been to many tractor shows over the years, and visited many farms with friends of his, but none of the tractors he had seen had ever been quite right. Trevor was so knowledgeable about tractors that every single one he had come across had possessed some hidden trait that he wasn’t keen on. His first experience of driving a real tractor had to be perfect.

One day, Trevor was flicking through one of his favourite publications, Powertrain Quarterly, when there was a knock at the door. Trevor answered, and it was his friend and fellow tractor enthusiast, Jeff.

Trevor welcomed Jeff in, and over tea and crumpets served on tractor-themed crockery, they discussed the merits of aluminium drawbars and front-end loaders. Eventually Trevor pressed Jeff to explain the reason for his visit.

β€œWell” said Jeff, β€œAs I’m sure you know the convention comes to town later”.

The convention. Trevor had been thinking of little else the past three weeks. The neighbouring town annually threw a convention for farmers, particularly farmyard machinery. There would be combine harvesters, lawnmowers, and of course, tractors.

β€œYes of course” replied Trevor

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShredderSte
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
🚨︎ report
The Letdown

A high schooler wants to ask his best female friend to prom. Because they’ve been friends for so long, he really wants to make his β€œpromposal” special. He talks to his friends, he talks to her friends, and spends days planning the perfect moment. Happily, she says yes!

Over the next couple of months, she sends him different styles and colors of ideas for her dress. He tells honestly that she’s always been beautiful to him, and privately to himself, he is now realizing he has strong feelings for her. He knows he needs to tell her.

The night of the prom, he’s extremely anxious. What if he says something stupid? What if she laughs at him or doesn’t return his feelings? What if she thinks he’s a terrible dancer? All of these thoughts are swirling around in his mind as both their parents fuss over them and make them pose for a million photos.

They get to the prom and he’s even more anxious. It’s dark, it’s loud, it’s crowded. They have to shout to be heard. But she grabs his hand, leads him to the dance floor, and they forget everything and everyone around them. A while later, as the songs have gotten slower, he can feel his heart pounding. He thinks it’s finally the right time. He leans down and whispers the truth in her ear, the truth about having loved her since they met in second grade. She starts to cry happy tears, saying she’s always loved him too, and they kiss. As the song ends and changes to something fast again, he asks her if she’d like to sit and have a drink. She says yes, could he please get her some punch?

He feels like he’s walking on clouds as he goes over to where the drinks and food are laid out. He wants to get back to her right away and hopes he doesn’t have to wait too long at the refreshments table.

He makes his way through the crowd, and is able to get their drinks and return to his waiting love within just a couple of minutes. Because, would you believe it?

There was no punch line.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrsBunnyPants26
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2020
🚨︎ report
As seen on a post of a cauliflower that looked like a nuke cloud.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gehhhh
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2018
🚨︎ report
Does digital ocean evaporate to form the cloud
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πŸ‘€︎ u/apoorvaShrini
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2019
🚨︎ report
The Cumulonimbus cloud was a favorite at the gentlemen's club

He always made it rain

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Blue8844
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife was making fun of me for making puns then walked into a cloud of gnats

Instant Kargnatic retribution!

Funny part about it is this actually happened...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/trickyd9
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2019
🚨︎ report
What do clouds wear under their shorts?

Thunderpants!

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/__just_a_boi__
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2020
🚨︎ report
What does a cloud do when it gets an itch?

It finds the nearest skyscraper.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlankPhotos
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2020
🚨︎ report
What does a cloud do when it gets an itch?

It finds the nearest skyscraper

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sburgel
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2019
🚨︎ report
I don't like jokes about clouds

They're always over my head

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CrepuscularKitten
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2019
🚨︎ report
What kind of shorts do clouds wear?

Thunderwear.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2019
🚨︎ report
What do clouds wear under their pants?

Thunderwear

πŸ‘︎ 88
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ck_special
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2018
🚨︎ report
What does a cloud wear under its raincoat...

Thunderwear!

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jonny_Ringo_480
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2019
🚨︎ report

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