What happens when the smog clears from Southern California?
Daughter: *clears throat - I have a frog in my throat....
Me: well, it's no wonder our discussion has been so ribbiting.
What happens when you’re driving on a highway in California and the smoke clears?
At Bob's retirement party the Director stands up and says "I'd just like to say a word about Bob", clears his throat and then says, "plethora",
Bob turns to him and says, "thank you, that means a lot".
Montreal's public transit authority (STM) posted a May the 4th update to their map of the city's subway system. (Original map included for wordplay reference - obviously works best if you understand French). Someone at the STM clearly had a field day.
I've read the definition of the word Ambiguity, but I didn't find it clear!
Even the dictionary cannot help, it just says it's not clear!
What do you call a politician with a clear conscience?
A man goes to a funeral.
He walks up to the widow and says, "May I say a word?"
She says, "Yes, of course!"
He clears his throat, and says, "Bargain."
The widow says, "Thank you. That means a great deal."
I was clearing the snow off the driveway with my son today.
He said, "Dad, I wish you would just use a shovel."
My boss told me I had to listen clearly and asked if I understand.
So I walked next to him and bent my knee halfway so I was just under standing.
What do you call clear urine?
What’s clear and smells like carrots?
What do you call crystal clear urine?
Steer clear of PEDs
When Lance Armstrong was caught for doping allegations, he was on a cycle
I’ve been clearing out the kids bedrooms and threw away their huge purple dinosaur.
They had a massive Barney!
What do you say to a Frenchman you can’t see clearly?
Dad, what's your favorite color.
Just so everyone’s clear…
…I’m going to put my glasses on
I asked a goose of I could use some of his feathers but he made it pretty clear...
My kid came out to me as trans and asked if I still accepted them for who they are. I told them quite clearly that I loved them no matter what they chose.
After dinner, my wife asked if I could clear the table.
I needed a running start, but I made it!
Clearly car repair is in their genes
Purple is my favorite color!
I like it more than blue and red combined.
A woman is at her deceased husband's funeral.
A man goes up to her and asks, "Do you mind if I say a word?" "No," she answers.
The man stands up, clears his throat, and says, "Plethora."
"Thank you," says the woman, "That means a lot."
Today I thought of a color that doesn't exist...
but then I realized it was just a pigment of my imagination.
Be careful about dating someone who is obsessed with plastic wrap.
The Kardashians have a great relationship with Caitlyn, very transparent.
I made this one up, hope you like it.
Why do cows have hooves, not feet?
What do you call an inaccurate scale whose only working function is the clear operation?
What did the farmer say to his cows when they asked to stay up late?
"Sorry, it's pasture bedtime."
My doctor told me 3 years ago that I was going deaf…
I haven’t heard from him since.
Why does Spider-Man like picking his nose?
To get rid of the Green Goblin
My teenage daughter claims she's being stereotyped because she looks like Jennifer Aniston's character in the sitcom Friends.
I told her it was a clear case of Rachel profiling.
I wanted to destroy any existing record of Mario & Luigi having ever dealt with bad guys…
So I cleared their Bowser History.
I was at the bank and my lending specialist Crystal didn't seem trustworthy...
I could see right through her.
Our dog chewed up our high speed internet cable.
Clearly he needed more fiber in his diet.
I dreamed I was invisible and I married an invisible woman.
I'm not sure what we saw in each other.
Our kids were nothing to look at either.
What happens when the smog clears from over Los Angeles?
What happens when the smog clears in California?
My wife asked if I could clear the kitchen table.
I had to get a running start but I made it.
Just so everybody's clear
I’m going to put my glasses on
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