From My Very Punny Dad, the children's book full of puns
Back to school pun! (from My Very Punny Dad children's book)
A Native American child asks his father how they choose children's names.
Father - "After you are born, we open the tepee and the first thing we see is what we name you. Like your eldest brother, Soaring Eagle, your sister, Falling Leaves, and your little brother, Grizzly Cub. Why do you ask Two Dogs Humping?"
I was kicked out of a restaurant for eating a meal off the childrens’ menu.
Apparently I should have used a plate.
Wife says, "There's a make your own fossil exhibit at the children's museum this weekend. Want to go?"
I said, "MAKE YOUR OWN FOSSILS?! I don't have time for that!"
She did not appreciate it as mush as I did.
What is Indian children's favorite playground game?
I've written a children's book about Goldilocks who grew up and steals things from her grandparents.
Goldilocks and the forebears.
What is an Italian postman's favourite children's party game?
Food puns from "My Very Punny Dad", my children's book!
"Dawned" on me (from "My Very Punny Dad" children's book)
From "My Very Punny Dad", my children's book that's full of dad jokes
What is the name of the author who writes children's books about mythology?
What is a popular children's book that is edible?
I opened a children's zoo but it had to be closed down.
What do you have if you're afraid of childrens adventure cartoons?
A priest giving a children's sermon on vestments asked, "Why do you think I wear this collar?"
One kid answered, "Because it kills fleas and ticks for upto 30 days."
What do Germans call the first day of wheat harvest, and also a popular children's game where kids chase each other around a wheat field?
Struggle with your Children's Math homework ?
... Apparently it's quite common in five out of every four homes.
I would consider myself a pretty rad dad, so here you go: "Why wasn't the document allowed at the children's party?"
"Why wasn't the document allowed at the children's party?"
Because he was a PDF File!
Why did the children's crusades fail?
There wasn't enough infantry.
What do you call a guy who only rides children's bicycles?
Father: Son, I donated all your toys to the children's home.
Son: Why did you do that?
Father: So you will not be bored there.
What's the name of a childrens rock band?
A person is playing Für Elise for a children's party
They were then arrested for assault with A Minor
My wife gave the childrens' message at church today.
You could say it was the "momily."
What do you call a animal based childrens show about the joys of french citizenship
My little pony: frenchship is magic
Which children's TV character just can't say no?
Did you hear about the large petrol truck that liked to fix gadgets and children's toys?
What do you call your children's children's children's children if they jump off of a cliff?
Daughter asked me to build her something at the Children's Museum.
Non Verbal Dad Joke
At least two other dads there gave me a knowing smile.
My business selling his and hers children's camping cots has gone out of business.
We sold a few girls' cots, but the boy cot had some marketing challenges.
Any book is a children's book
Classic dad joke in an old episode of the PBS children's cartoon "George Shrinks"
Dad-joked an entire children's playgroup today...
A local children's centre brought in a little petting zoo for a toddler group today. One of the animals was a lamb, and at one point the lamb tried to escape through the door. Quick as a flash I said, "looks like it's going on the lam!"
Many groans were heard, but I'm still chuckling.
After a commercial for a children's menu
Dad: It's sad for those kids isn't it?
Me: Sad? What do you mean?
Dad: Well that they offer children as a menu!
Me: facepalm
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