Emaciation/Emancipation
Cos he couldn't hava-lanche
I am Hungary for some Turkey
Dad: Someone should immediately turn that kid around.
Yesterday, I purchased 2 sandwiches because I was very hungry - a chicken salad sandwich and an egg salad sandwich. My dilemma was I had no idea which one I should eat first.
Dad: Why isn’t anybody turning the 5th kid around?
People would routinely bring him bread in an attempt to get him to eat. What people don't understand though is that Gandhi was actually a very temperamental man, and prone to anger. So even when his friends and family were the ones bringing him bread, he would take it and hurl it at them, sometimes leaving bruises and welts. He justified it by saying it was all a part of his philosophy of naan-violence.
I am going to make sure there is always food available.
Me: I'm hungry. When's the pizza going to get here? Dad: Probably when the pizza guy does.
Battle Royale with cheese
Last night, my family came to pick me up from work after the kids' swim lessons. They were tired, hungry, grumpy, hungry, and hungry on the drive home.
My 6 year old: "Ugh... I'm going to die..."
Me: "You're right; we're all going to die. What are you going to die of?"
6yo: "Hunger and your jokes."
Me: "Well, I hope my jokes get you first. That sounds like a better way to go."
You heard it here first, folks. Dad jokes can potentially kill faster than starvation. Wield them carefully.
"Did Jay get mad?"
"What dad?"
"Most people don't like being mocked so I wonder if Jay got mad."
Dad: How hot is Katniss? Me: Yeah she's beautiful. Dad: I hear she's...catching fire.
Dad: Someone should turn that 5th kid around.
Dad: Why isn’t somebody turning that kid around?
