thirst
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RedLeader11037
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2019
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My wife and I went on a trip to Cuba to stay at a few different places. By the end of week 2, we were walking barefoot across a beach, nearly dying of thirst and exhausted. We were wondering if we'd make it home, until I spotted a server holding some drinks. We sprinted towards her and drank both.

It was out last resort.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KingSulley
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2019
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I heard a news story about a village where the citizens were dying of thirst,

I hope they get well soon

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AvaHorsie
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2018
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A friend of mine said his thirst was becoming a problem

I offered him a solution

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/andwhy_
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2018
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It was a scorching day and Sean Connery was really craving a nice cold beer to quench his thirst.

but when he opened the fridge door he remembered about that open can of soda. Guess that's shandy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fairyoathen
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2017
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I was lost in the desert, dying of thirst, when I thought I saw a famous female rapper....

...but it was just a Nicki Mirage.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BleuManGroup
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2012
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What do you call an old snowman?

Water

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlankPhotos
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2020
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Dadjoked the thirsty girlfriend.

I asked my girlfriend if she wanted any water whilst we were studying. She responded "Just a glass, thanks".

I bring an empty glass over to her, and she tries to drink from it. She loves them, she just won't admit it.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bearded_bat
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2014
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Which day of the week is for drinking?

Thirst-day

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kishenoy
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2020
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I got a date to prom.

I got a date to prom, so I went home to get ready only to relize that I was late. So I have to run down to the limo rental place. The line there was pretty long and after that, I hade to get flowers & chocolate. The line there was also pretty long. Then after that, I finally went to pick her up, she was pretty upset but forgived me and we arrived at our destination. I then got thirst and thank god there was no Punch Line.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Daxdax_Universe
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2019
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Two guys were stranded in a desert.

The first guy was named Jim and the second guy was named Joe. They were starving, and dying of thirst. They kept walking in one direction hoping that they would get out of the desert before they died. They had been lost a long time, and it wasn't looking good.

Then, in a stroke of good luck, they found an oasis. In the oasis there was plenty of water and trees growing. On the trees, was every kind of bacon imaginable. Crispy bacon, soft bacon, even Canadian bacon (even though it doesn't really count). Joe says, "I'm going to go eat some bacon."

So Joe goes and gets some bacon out of a low tree.

Just as he takes his first bite, a gremlin jumps out of the foliage, and stabs him in the back with a knife.

Joe is laying on the ground dying, and his friend Jim comes up to him. Joe says in a warning, "Jim run away. It's not safe here!"

"Why not?" Jim asked.

"This oasis isn't what it seems! It isn't a bacon tree, IT'S A HAM-BUSH!!!"

And he died.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Xnightshade2
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2017
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A guy goes to his school dance...

...He could hear from the music and the roar of all the people, it sounded like it was going to be a lot of fun so he got in line to buy a ticket. Once inside he ran into Sally, whom he'd had a massive crush on since grade 3, seven long years ago. They danced up a storm all night, and he felt like tonight was going to "end well". 10 or 15 songs later they had worked up quite a thirst. They meandered over to the drink table and asked the guy in front of them if this was the line to get a drink, and he replied "That's right, this is the punchline".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CanadianGuy116
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2013
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Bit long: There is a world where...

There is a world where everyone is a cheerio and there are 4 main ranks. There is the plain cheerio then the chocolate cheerio then then the rainbow cheerio and then finally King cheerio himself. In this world there is a man called Steve, Steve was a plain cheerio working at a Mc. donalds. He found working there very boring, so he saved up enough money to get a surgery to become a chocolate cheerio. And so he got the surgery and now he was able to be manager at the Mc. Donalds he was working at. However he still didn't feel as if this was enough so he saved up enough money to get another surgery to become a rainbow cheerio. Now that he was a rainbow cheerio he owned Mc. Donalds itself. As a celebration king cheerio hosted a party at his mansion for Steve's new job. During the party Steve got a chance to speak with the King and he asked him how it was to be a the king, but the king replied that it was extremely exhausting to be the king. So Steve decided that he didn't want to be king. After his conversation he felt thirst so headed over to the drinks building. On the first floor he new he could get bear which he wanted, but as he arrived he noticed that the line was too big. So Steve went up to the next floor where there was wine, but again the line was too big. On the third floor there was Coke, but just like the other floors the line was too big. He also new that on the 5th floor there was milk which was his favourite. So he thought that might as well skip the 4th floor to get milk. But he changed his mind has he walked by the 4th floor as he saw the sign that they where serving punch and as he realised there wasn't any punchline.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/51MOE
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2018
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The Coffin

My dad told me this spooky Halloween story when I was young, I remembered it today and thought I would share it:

On one spooky Halloween night, a man decided to travel to the graveyard all by himself, armed with only a flashlight, and a thirst for adventure. He scoured the graveyard in search of ghosts, but after a long time searching, was disappointed that he couldn’t find one.

Just when he was beginning to get disheartened, he heard this awful sound from behind! The sound was deep, scratchy, and bellowing. It was the distinct sound of a coffin! The man was terrified. Naturally, he took off running! But No matter how far or fast he ran, he couldn’t escape the coffin. Everywhere he went, the coffin roared, deep, scratchy, and bellowing.

Just when he could run no more, he found himself trapped. The coffin closed in on him, getting louder and louder as it approached.

So what did he do?

He did what any man would do in this situation! He pulled out his Vick’s 44d cough syrup and stopped that awful coffin!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/calebrockinout1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2017
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Did you hear about the guy who entered a drinking contest?

He came in thirst place.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/goat_chortle
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2017
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Dads, Dinners, and Drinks

Sitting at dinner with some friends.

Him - I don't think I can drink this second lemonade. Me - I guess you could say your thirst was e'lemonade'd

Cue the groans.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Porphyrous
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2014
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I'm Thirsty

I'm Thirst-E

and I'm here to say

I ain't had nothin' to drink

not a drop all day

.

.

.

everyday after school first thing she said and my rappin reply- my daughter wanted to kill me

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πŸ‘€︎ u/247world
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2013
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