I’m at wedding and I’m very thirsty so I am walking all around the whole ballroom looking for something to drink.

I can’t find the punchline.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you drink if you are only a little thirsty in Minneapolis?

A Mini-soda!

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Why is everyone thirsty at the north pole?

No well

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/btcrav2
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
🚨︎ report
When he is thirsty, what does the overconfident man say is his favorite body part?

"Surely temple."

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cheelay_
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Dad I’m thirsty !

Hello thirsty my name is Friday. Do you know Monday and Tuesday? Let’s all go to Wednesday’s party!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/coloredboyadvance
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I’m sure everyone’s heard this one but, it’s still one of my favorites. β€œDaddy, I’m Thirsty.”

β€œHello, Thirsty. I’m Friday, come over Saturday and we’ll have a Sundae.” (Thurs, Fri, Sat, Sun)

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/siflbabyshifero
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a thirsty bee?

>!Beehydrated!<

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/uselessDM
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Ghandi spent a lot of time walking through the desert, so his feet hurt and he was always thirsty and weak. It's also very hard to brush your teeth in the desert.

He was a super calloused fragile mystic with extra halitosis.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JEJoll
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
🚨︎ report
cries in thirsty
πŸ‘︎ 202
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Alaskan_Lost
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a girl who is thirsty for water?

An H2Hoe

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/chandan_2294
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2020
🚨︎ report
My son walked in and matter of factly stated, β€œDad, I’m thirsty”

Me(instantly): Is that a statement of fact or a request for something to drink?

(Oh how the sour look that he had been duped by a dad joke)

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/aph603
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Coronavirus got me kinda thirsty doe...
πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Triensi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Me: Daaaaaaaaad. I'm thirsty.

Dad: I'm Friday.

[True story]

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/scarecrow53
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2019
🚨︎ report
I went to a dinner party yesterday. The hosts are chefs and made all kinds of food, buffet style. I arrived early had some hors d'oeuvres. Then I realized I was thirsty, and I wanted to try the mixed juice drink. At this point everyone else was getting food, so I walked right up and got a cup...
πŸ‘︎ 39
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bb5x24
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2019
🚨︎ report
A student at prom was thirsty for some fruit punch, so he asked his friend, "where's the punch line?"
πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Seb_04
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Two friends Bob and Frank are lost in the jungle when they are surrounded by a group of blood thirsty cannibals.

They are surrounded by dozens of the fierce blood thirsty warriors armed with clubs and spears. The leader of the warriors approaches the two friends and informs them they are trespassing on sacred land and unless they can prove they are descendants of the Gods they will be killed and eaten.

Bob and Frank realize they have little choice but agree they will attempt any test to try to save their lives.

The chief warrior brings them a bowl full of angry fire ants and drops one small seed into the bowl. He informs them they must put their lips in the bowl and suck as hard as they can. If they manage to suck up only the seed without sucking up an ant then the tribe would know they must be sent from the Gods.

Bob looks wearily at Frank but knowing they have no other options he puts his lips in the bowl and sucks hard. He immediately gets a mouth full of ants and screams in pain as they bite away at the inside of his mouth. Frank now even more nervous takes his turn and to his dismay also receives a nasty mouthful of the viscous buggers.

The warriors leap to their feet and surround the friends, β€œNow you must die” declares the chieftain. Just as the first spear is raised to Franks throat he screams β€œTria-Gan!” The warriors stop dead in their tracks. β€œWhat did you say” asked the chief. β€œTria-Gan” yelled frank again. Immediately the chief and his warriors turned and fled into the forest.

β€œHoly shit” said Bob β€œWhat did you just say and how did you know it would work?”

β€œWell” said Frank, β€œmy Mother always told me if at first you don’t suck seed try Tria-Gan.”

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/usernamemispeled
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2019
🚨︎ report
What do thirsty ninjas drink?

Waa-tah!

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/unclematthegreat
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Dadjoked the thirsty girlfriend.

I asked my girlfriend if she wanted any water whilst we were studying. She responded "Just a glass, thanks".

I bring an empty glass over to her, and she tries to drink from it. She loves them, she just won't admit it.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bearded_bat
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2014
🚨︎ report
No matter how much pop I drink I’m still so thirsty...

I must be soda hydrated.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rogan2929
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Dad, I’m thirsty!

Hi Thirsty, I’m Friday! Meet you on Saturday for a Sunday.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TDubsForever
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you give a thirsty tree?

Root beer.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DrewciferCDXX
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2018
🚨︎ report
"Daaad, can we please go now? I'm thirsty!"

"***HI THIRSTY, I'M FRIDAY, COME ON OVER SATURDAY AND WE'LL HAVE A SUNDAE!!***"

Come on dad I didn't even get that one until I was like 14.

πŸ‘︎ 304
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ancel3
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2014
🚨︎ report
What does Bruce Lee like to drink when he's thirsty?

Wa-taaaah (water)

Found it on the internets. Most likely a repost but I haven't seen it here.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KungFooShus
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2018
🚨︎ report
where do you go when you're thirsty but also need to tell on your lil bitch ass brother who broke something?
πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2017
🚨︎ report
When you're thirsty but no drinks are around...

Wat-er you gonna do?

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/razzlesnazzlepasz
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2016
🚨︎ report
When I told my dad I was thirsty as a kid..

He would say: "I'm Friday, let's go Saturday and have a sundae."

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ballzak0206
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2016
🚨︎ report
Me: I'm Thirsty...

Dad: How do you do, I am Friday.

(literally said by my dad every time, when I was a kid.)

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/norwegianjon
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2017
🚨︎ report
What do you call a thirsty camel ?

A dry humper

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kardight
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2017
🚨︎ report
Dad, I'm thirsty

"I'm Friday. Come over Saturday and we'll have a Sunday!"

Me and my siblings heard this many times throughout our childhoods.

πŸ‘︎ 47
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Wutda7
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2013
🚨︎ report
I'm so thirsty it's making me mad...

I... have... beveRAGE!

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/uzi
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2016
🚨︎ report
"Hey Dad, have you seen any water fountains around? I'm thirsty."

#***"HI THIRSTY, I'M FRIDAY! COME ON OVER SATURDAY AND WE'LL HAVE A SUNDAE!!"***

Come on Dad, you said it every fucking time and I didn't even get this one until I was like 14. All I wanted was some water, but no, you've gotta be an asshole about it.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ancel3
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2015
🚨︎ report
Thirsty Thursday

I’m so thirsty right now I’m almost Friday.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Dad I’m thirsty...

Hey Thirsty, I’m Friday. Let’s meet on a Saturday and have a Sunday.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/EmFaMe
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2017
🚨︎ report
Kid: "Dad Dad, I'm thirsty!"

Dad: "Pleased to meet you, I'm Friday.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/underscorefour
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2017
🚨︎ report
Dad, I'm thirsty!

Dad: Well I'm Friday!

Every. Time.

πŸ‘︎ 37
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MsFuschia
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2013
🚨︎ report
Don't tell my dad you're thirsty...

Victim: "I'm thirsty" Dad: "Hi thirsty, I'm Friday, come over Saturday and we'll have a Sunday."

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bro-tatoChip
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2014
🚨︎ report
"Dad, I'm thirsty."

"And I'm Friday!"

"Dammit, dad... "

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ForcedWhimsy
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2014
🚨︎ report

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