Was eating dinner with my wife when she quickly got up for seconds. β€œI’m starved! I haven’t been eating right”, she said. So I asked:

β€œIs that why you are eating everything that’s left?”

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GilbyGrace
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2019
🚨︎ report
I starved myself all day to get ready for the pi competition

There was no pie... only people reciting pi from memory. The pie was a lie

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2019
🚨︎ report
I hope you're not starved for time
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RebornPastafarian
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2016
🚨︎ report
Figuring out how to starve a zombie isn’t difficult.

It’s a no-brainer.

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gary_October
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Have a riot at this pun
πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lan_chop
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
🚨︎ report
I just received a call from a Charity asking me to donate some of my old clothes to the starving people around the world...

I told them, "Anyone who fits into my clothes, certainly isn't starving. "

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Dad, I’m starving can you make me a sandwhich?

Abracadabra you are a sandwich

πŸ‘︎ 430
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Odinnextgen
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call starving vegans?

Hungry hungry hippies.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/snugs4lyfe
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
🚨︎ report
A wife says to her husband: "Honey, I want to donate my clothes to people who are starving."

The husband replys: "Debra whoever receives your clothes surely won't be starving."

(I apologise if this has already been posted, I just heard my dad say it to me today.)

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PresidentalPanda
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2020
🚨︎ report
You won't ever starve In the desert

Because of all the sand-which is there.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dilborg
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the stout, starving sergeant eat in the army?

Alliter o' rations.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2020
🚨︎ report
lets play dont starve: together
πŸ‘︎ 63
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cihan_emre
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2020
🚨︎ report
A starving tribe marched their way to the desert to get food

because of the sand which is there.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RoastingNoodles
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I would only kill a clown if my family was about to starve to death.

We either digest the clown, or we die jesting!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/YouNamedMeeDog
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a starving hippo in Budapest?

A hungry Hungary hippo

πŸ‘︎ 43
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BigPeneMcgundy
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2020
🚨︎ report
A jewish pastor becomes a missionary...

...and ends up on the Island of Trid. The people there are starving and explain to the pastor that it’s because whenever they try to harvest the fruit at the top of the mountain, the nasty giant comes out of his cave and boots them all back down the hill. This infuriates the pastor who then declares that tomorrow he will join them on their next attempt. The next day they all march up the mountain together, and sure enough, out comes the giant who proceeds to kick all of the locals back down the hill leaving only the new guy to gather fruit at his leisure. Finally, he stops and asks the giant, β€œWell, aren’t you going to knock me off the mountain?”. Shaking his head, the giant says, β€œSilly rabbi, kicks are for Trids”.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/5YearApril
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2021
🚨︎ report
Baby Humpback: Dad. If you keep eating all the food and not saving any for me, I'm going to starve to death!

Dad Humpback: Nah. Whatever doesn't krill you makes you stronger.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/scarecrow53
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2019
🚨︎ report
A man is starving in the desert and sees a bacon tree in the distance.

When he makes it over to the tree, a robber steps out and points a gun at him.

The man says, "whoa, I just wanted some of the bacon from the bacon tree!"

The robber grunts and says, "This ain't no bacon tree. This is a hambush!"

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WERE_A_BAND
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Son, the best piece of advice I can give you is not to starve yourself. It doesn't help anything.

Bulimia tried it.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/desireewhitehall
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Why was 69 starving?

Because 68 everything

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RokerTroniC
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
🚨︎ report
How come you can’t starve in the desert?

Because of all the sand which is there

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SyckTycket
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2019
🚨︎ report
my great grandfather was a very poor eastern european, starving on the streets

some say he's still hungary to this day

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/iisowo
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the robot starve?

He didn’t have a byte to eat...

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2019
🚨︎ report
If you're ever lost in the Sahara desert, at least you won't starve.

Because of all the sand-which-is there.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lobsterbash
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Why can no man starve in the Great Desert of Sahara?

Because of the sand-which-is there. – ba dum tissss!

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RIGHT_WING_X
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Have you heard of the benefit concert to help starving musicians?

They're calling it Band-Aid.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rcflier500
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2018
🚨︎ report
Why is it impossible to starve in the desert?

Because of all the sand which is there. (Read aloud)

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/that_ryan_guy88
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2019
🚨︎ report
If cannibals start starving, they can always make themselves a snack. reddit.com/r/Showerthough…
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brentobot
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the cheap farmer that let a town starve?

He didn't give a crop.

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JackWebber85
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2018
🚨︎ report
I’m starving

I just woke up and feel like I haven’t eaten all year

πŸ‘︎ 79
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thebwit
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2018
🚨︎ report
I’m starving

I haven’t eaten since last year.

Happy new year everyone :)

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2018
🚨︎ report
I got lost in a corn maze for a couple days last year

Needless to say I was starving, as fate would have it a ripe piece fell down right at my feet. Startled I called out β€œwell I guess it’s on the house!” To my amazement the stalk came to life and said β€œNonsense! It’s on the cob!”

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Durian-Shot
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2020
🚨︎ report
I saw a starving cat the other day

It was a cat-atrophy

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2018
🚨︎ report
Irish dream come true
πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/excuseme_wtf
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2018
🚨︎ report
Figuring out how to starve a zombie is a no brainer.
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Gary_October
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Why don't you starve in the desert?

Because of all the sand which is there.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/death-to-turtles
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Why is it you will never starve in the desert?

Because of all the sand which is there.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shdchko
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Why is it you'll never starve in the desert?

Because of all the sand wich is there.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shdchko
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Why can’t a man starve in the desert?

Because of all of the sand which is there.

πŸ‘︎ 57
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RageMonster17
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2019
🚨︎ report
You'll never starve in the desert...

Because of all the sand-which-is there.

πŸ‘︎ 75
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jkaz531
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2018
🚨︎ report

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