What did the sleep deprived fremen say to the noisy sand worms?

Stop making a rakis.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vartigy
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2021
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TIL about a sneak attack in WWII, in which Norway’s Skiing Soldiers deprived the German army of the atomic bomb.

They did Nazi it coming.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/blackabe
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2020
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I tried one of those sensory deprivation tanks

It was a whole lotta nothing

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ‘€︎ u/coolhandhutch
πŸ“…︎ Feb 29 2020
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What kind of car does Jesus drive?

A Christler.

πŸ‘︎ 95
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
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I'm deprived of saltines at a party...

I'm crack(er)-lackin'

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ‘€︎ u/razzlesnazzlepasz
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2016
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Sleep-Deprivation Fueled Pun War

My friend (L) and I (B) ended up in a pun war. She had to wake up super early to catch a flight, and this was at about one in the morning:

L: I should definitely set my alarm to 'cow' o.O

B: Haha, do it. Nothing like waking up to cows in the 'moo'rning.

L: Oh my gosh. Absolutely not.

B: Hey, but it would be so 'udder'ly hilarious!

L: I just got stabbed to death by a pun.

B: I'm just trying to 'milk' it for all it's worth...

L: If I did that, I'm not sure I'd wake up in a happy 'moo'od.

B: Just drink some 'calf'inated coffee, and you'll be fine.

L: I'd be laughing 'stock' of the town... Cows don't have a sense of humor.

B: Bull!

L: I'll just use my cowculator do determine how much sleep I'm actually going to get tonight...

B: You could wake up a little later, but you'd have to 'hoof' it to the airport.

L: Hope the weather is good, so my plane isn't 'ground'ed 'beef'.

B: That's stretching it... You should make more of an 'heifer't to come up with good puns.

L: I know when I'm getting creamed.

B: It's hard to 'steer' you in the right direction, because you keep changing topics.

L: That's udderly ridiculous. I'm just trying to mooove on.

B: And I just keep churning 'em out...

L: No, you're just spinning your 'veal's.

B: That's one of the best ones I've herd all night!

L: I thought I might've butchered it...

B: PETA might have a beef with you because of it, though...

L: Well done, well done...

B: I don't think they care leather or not you personally slaughtered it, too.

L: See now, I wish you'd stop 'grilling' me about the bad puns... You should 'patty' yourself on the back. I 'dairy' you to come up with more.

B: Well, you can certainly steak a claim for being able to hold your own...

L: I'm a natural 'barn' comedian. However, I really should quit 'yak'king and go to bed. :p

B: Okay, that's not cows... You lose. You 'cud' have done a lot better.

L: The grass is greener on the other side, okay? Also, cows live in barns, and yaks are related to cows.

B: It was still quite a stretch... Don't have a cow about it.

L: Ha anymoo. Goodnight! Also, don't die of mad cow disease.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ‘€︎ u/guerrilla154
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2015
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What do you call a nicotine deprived bird?

A Craven (looks around :D)

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ‘€︎ u/Caudata
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2015
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My gf made a pun

do you know what comes after lethargy







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πŸ‘€︎ u/aden54321
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2019
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What's a chameleon's favorite metal?


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πŸ‘€︎ u/C_Giraffe
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2020
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Fanta Sea.
πŸ‘︎ 92
πŸ‘€︎ u/sabrinalynn1983
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2017
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One of my favorites.

When I woke up this morning I had some pretty bad "bed head." When I went downstairs my dad made a comment:

Dad: Hey, nice hair

Me: Thanks I spent about 8 hours working on it.

He thought it was hilarious while my mom just groaned.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2015
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Dad, my computer can't find the Wifi printer anymore

Dad, my computer can't find the Wifi printer anymore..

I renamed it to Bob Marley, same password

Why Bob Marley?

Because its always jammin

God damn it

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ‘€︎ u/peetlloyd
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2015
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As a joke I did not eat or sleep for 3 days

It was a self-deprivating joke!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ‘€︎ u/PLUMBUM2
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2019
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When a baby is born, the parents get indoctrinated into a very exclusive group.

The sleep deprivation society of parenting.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2019
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Dad Joke Level: Facebook

My dad's status "i read an article about all the health problems sleep deprivation can cause. It scared me so bad I can't sleep."

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ‘€︎ u/Provlovskee
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2014
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