There was an old man who lived by a forest. As he grew older and older, he started losing his hair, until one day, on his deathbed, he was completely bald. That day, he called his children to a meeting...
He said, "Look at my hair. It used to be so magnificent, but it's completely gone now. My hair can't be saved. But look outside at the forest. It's such a lovely forest with so many trees, but sooner or later they'll all be cut down and this forest will look as bald as my hair."
"What I want you to do..." the man continued. "Is, every time a tree is cut down or dies, plant a new one in my memory. Tell your descendants to do the same. It shall be our family's duty to keep this forest strong."
So they did.
Each time the forest lost a tree, the children replanted one, and so did their children, and their children after them.
And for centuries, the forest remained as lush and pretty as it once was, all because of one man and his re-seeding heirline.
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︎ May 03 2021
What do you call a fruit whoβs obviously got children?
π︎ 4
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︎ May 13 2021
Dad Jokes are like unvaccinated children.
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︎ Apr 03 2021
My son is starting school next year but is scared because he thinks the other children will pick on him because of his name.
I reassured him, "Don't be silly! Why would anyone pick on you, Someoneyourownsize!?"
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︎ May 16 2021
I decided I do not want any children
If anybody wants one, I can drop her off tomorrow.
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︎ May 12 2021
My wife and I have decided that we don't want children
And if anyone does we can drop them off at the weekend
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︎ Apr 15 2021
And children that is how Watt was invented
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︎ Mar 16 2021
What do Germans call the first day of wheat harvest, and also a popular children's game where kids chase each other around a wheat field?
π︎ 5
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︎ Apr 22 2021
An old man owned a dolphin and some children asked him why. The old man smiled and said, "When I was younger, my dreams were crushed, so I bought the dolphin because..."
"Buying him gave me a porpoise in life."
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︎ Mar 30 2021
People reprimanded me for telling dad jokes without having children,
I apologized, it was Faux pa
π︎ 30
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︎ Mar 15 2021
My daughter goes to a school that requires a uniform. Occasionally, the administration will reward the children with a free dress day.
For some reason, my daughter never comes home with her free dress...???
π︎ 5
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︎ Mar 31 2021
A priest giving a children's sermon on vestments asked, "Why do you think I wear this collar?"
One kid answered, "Because it kills fleas and ticks for upto 30 days."
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︎ Mar 23 2021
On my pill bottle it says, "Take I pill daily and keep away from children."
Why!! What happens to children after I've taken my pill ?
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︎ Apr 07 2021
My Father will be releasing a new brand of giant breath mints later this year. He said it will be named after his children!
π︎ 10
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︎ Mar 26 2021
They say children are our most precious resource...
...but really I think itβs coal
π︎ 5
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︎ Mar 13 2021
My wife and I have decided that we donβt want children
We will be telling them tonight.
π︎ 31
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︎ Mar 05 2021
Today, my wife and I decided we would not like children.
So we will be kicking them out tonight.
π︎ 7
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︎ Mar 10 2021
Blonde: "Do you have any children?"
Me: "Yes, I have one that's just under two."
Blonde: "I may be blonde, but I know how many one is!!'
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︎ Jan 26 2021
Where do unvaccinated children play ?
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︎ Feb 24 2021
Today, in a cultural fair, I found someone was giving away free balloons to children
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︎ Feb 13 2021
My son Luke loves that we named our children after Star Wars characters.
My daughter Chewbacca, not so much.
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︎ Nov 11 2020
I made a meme about unvaccinated children
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︎ Dec 14 2020
How did the children know that they were lost in the maise?
They saw that they were cornered.
π︎ 3
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︎ Feb 28 2021
Do unfit parents have to exercise a lot to get their children back?
π︎ 4
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︎ Jan 18 2021
If a group of dolphins is called a pod and a group of crows is called a murder, what is a group of small children called?
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︎ Mar 26 2020
Lunar new year in Vietnam is celebrated with lion dances, dragon dances, fireworks, family gatherings and meals, ancestor worship, and giving red envelopes to children and the elderly.
Thank you for coming to my TαΊΏt talk.
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︎ Feb 06 2021
What do you call a ghostβs children?
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︎ Nov 23 2020
What do you call German children you donβt want your kids to hang out with?
π︎ 10
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︎ Jan 25 2021
Last month I launched a book aimed at children.
Iβm pleased to say I hit one of them
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︎ Dec 17 2020
What do bakers tell their children at night?
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︎ Nov 07 2020
Dear Mother in law...Don't teach me how to bring up my children...
I'm living with one of yours and she needs a lot of improvement.
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︎ Jan 16 2021
The other day I was attacked by a bunch of children...
but it's okay since I only took minor damage.
π︎ 16
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︎ Dec 22 2020
My wife and I have 3 beautiful children...
And 3 out of 5 ain't bad.
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︎ Dec 06 2020
Every year hundreds of children are shipped off to mime school
Never to be heard from again.
π︎ 45
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︎ Oct 27 2020
What did the dad artichoke tell his children?
π︎ 9
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︎ Dec 11 2020
How do mathematicians scold their children?
If Iβve told you N times, Iβve told you N+1 times...
π︎ 18
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︎ Oct 04 2020
why do children have trouble looking at their parents after a gender change?
Because parents become Trans-parent
π︎ 7
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︎ Dec 04 2020
Last night I was arguing to my wife about who should keep our children in the divorce and I got angry and threw some trifle at her
She ended up getting custardy
π︎ 5
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︎ Oct 20 2020
My children are learning quickly...
Yesterday my daughter balanced a bottle of Poland Springs on her head and then exclaimed, βHelp Daddy! I canβt breathe underwater!!"
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︎ Nov 10 2020
What is the difference between a normal saw and a saw for children?
The one for children has baby teeth
π︎ 5
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︎ Nov 28 2020
Why can't ghosts have children?
they have Hallow-weenies!
π︎ 13
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︎ Oct 09 2020
My children got their good looks from their mother.
π︎ 23
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︎ Nov 04 2020
I donated almost 50.000$ to a charity for mute children
They didnβt even say βThank youβ
π︎ 2
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︎ Nov 28 2020
There was an old man who lived by a forest. As he grew older and older, he started losing his hair, until one day, on his deathbed, he was completely bald. That day, he called his children to a meeting...
He said, "Look at my hair. It used to be so magnificent, but it's completely gone now. My hair can't be saved. But look outside at the forest. It's such a lovely forest with so many trees, but sooner or later they'll all be cut down and this forest will look as bald as my hair."
"What I want you to do..." the man continued. "Is, every time a tree is cut down or dies, plant a new one in my memory. Tell your descendants to do the same. It shall be our family's duty to keep this forest strong."
So they did.
Each time the forest lost a tree, the children replanted one, and so did their children, and their children after them.
And for centuries, the forest remained as lush and pretty as it once was, all because of one man and his re-seeding heirline.
π︎ 38
π
︎ Apr 27 2021
My son is starting school soon and thinks the other children will pick on him because of his name. I reassured him, "Don't be silly!"
"Why would anyone pick on you, Someoneyourownsize!?"
π︎ 27
π
︎ Jan 04 2021
There was an old man who lived by a forest. As he grew older and older, he started losing his hair, until one day, on his deathbed, he was completely bald. That day, he called his children to a meeting...
He said, "Look at my hair. It used to be so magnificent, but it's completely gone now. My hair can't be saved. But look outside at the forest. It's such a lovely forest with so many trees, but sooner or later they'll all be cut down and this forest will look as bald as my hair."
"What I want you to do..." the man continued. "Is, every time a tree is cut down or dies, plant a new one in my memory. Tell your descendants to do the same. It shall be our family's duty to keep this forest strong."
So they did.
Each time the forest lost a tree, the children replanted one, and so did their children, and their children after them.
And for centuries, the forest remained as lush and pretty as it once was, all because of one man and his re-seeding heirline.
π︎ 21k
π
︎ Sep 02 2019
My son Luke loves that we named our children after Star Wars characters.
Our daughter Chewbacca, not so much.
π︎ 798
π
︎ Mar 28 2020
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