My friend found a custom pc case shaped like a boat.
I told her "I hope the USBs are portside"
In case you're feeling crummy.
Are all cases U2's lawyer does...
All this stress lately has me trying new things. For example, I've discovered that brake fluid is actually delicious. I'm up to a case a day, but there's no need to worry about me.
Given that a case of the sniffles means staying home from school, we give my daughter a daily allergy medicine. My wife was giving her breakfast before school, and when I walked out, I asked if she’d had her medicine yet.
My daughter said yes, and I replied, “So you’re de-Claritin that you’ve had it already?”
Why did the case of the toilet bandit go cold?
They had nothing to go on.
Within minutes, the detectives figured out what the murder weapon was.
A burglar broke into my house and I pushed my bookcase on top of him.
What's the president's backup plan in case the USA gets invaded?
In what case do bullets finally do their job?
When they’re fired.
finger guns
A Harper Lee novel on trial refused to open up about their case case, but was still judged by it's cover.
Moral of the story... Don't kill animals.
Edit: remove one case
Why is there no COVID cases in Antarctica
Because it’s so ice-o-lated
Why do detectives tend to scrutinize individuals with bluish eyes in cases of poisoning?
Because the real killer is usually cyan-eyed.
The lawyer always kept losing his cases
He didn't mind cause he was practicing
The deaf girl didn’t show up to her court case yesterday
What do cops do when handed a cold case?
They work on it undercover.
I told my boss, “Sorry I’m late. I was having computer issues.”
Boss: Hard drive?
Me: No, the commute was fine. It’s my laptop.
My ADHD medicine comes in a case shaped like a 3-sided polygon where each side is the same size, and the pills are distributed uniformly.
It's an equal Adderall triangle.
Why aren’t there any COVID-19 cases in Antarctica?
Because they’re all ice-olated.
My favorite Hollywood movie has to be “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button”.
From the mouths of babes (in this case my seven year old daughter as I was leaving this morning...)
Daughter: Dad, it's really STUPID out there today. You'd better take your dumbrella.
Me: I've never been more proud.
Just accepted new job at a bicycle factory
Gonna be their spokes person
At the hospital they’re taking virus cases on a ‘first catch’ basis...
It’s in a corona-logical order.
This case has been a stain on our reputation.
We need to solve it quickly. Send for Det. Urgent
Johnny Depp has lost his case against The Sun newspaper even with evidences
Hard to win if Amber is Heard and Johnny is not
The German government is calling for everybody to stock up on sausage and cheese in case of a second lockdown.
It's the Wurst-käse-scenario
With the increasing cases of Covid in America, I was worried there would be a shortage of paper towels.
But I found the grocery story to be Bounty full.
Just wrote a book about falling down the stair case
It's a step-by-step guide
Why there's no COVID Cases in Antartica
-Cause they're ICE-O-LATED
What's everyone been using to scrape ice off their cars? I have been using a discount card.
Only been getting 25% off.
My mate Iain...
My mate Iain has one eye bigger than the other.
Why did Stalin only write in lower case?
He was afraid of Capitalism.
I wasn't able to carry my case.
I tried to sue the airline for losing my luggage
To avoid Covid on my flight, they converted the whole plane to Catholicism and started praying.
Unfortunately now we’ve got a load of confirmed cases...
I recently opened a building with an exhibition of dermatological skin cases.
It’s a real gallery of the fine warts.
Are physical puns a thing here? I'm just gonna leave this here
The name for the drawer where I keep my underwear?
Initially the US was way behind other countries in COVID-19 cases.
Little did those countries know, the US had a Trump card.
Took a flight, and my luggage got torn to pieces....
My lawyer said I don’t have much of a case.
I always knock on the door of the fridge before opening it.
Just in case there's a salad dressing.
No one knows for sure how many Covid cases there are...
My friend accused me of stealing his thesaurus.
Not only was I shocked, I was appalled, distraught, surprised, and taken aback.
My friend found a custom pc case shaped like a boat.
I told her "I hope the USBs are portside"
Why are there no cases of Covid in Antarctica?
Because they're so well Ice-o-lated.
Within minutes, the detectives figured out what the murder weapon was.
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
