Was so proud of my boys. I just asked them what we should call the can opener that just broke. I’m an instant they said, “A can’t opener?” They will be good dads someday!
A pic for anyone who wants to see it:
https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/lum6ev/so_if_this_is_broken_would_it_now_be_a_cant_opener/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
Can anyone reccomend me a good way of cleaning windshield from ice?
I used my discount card but I only got 20% off!
I was trying to think of a really good punchline. This is as best as I can do
Floyd mayweather, Mike Tyson, Deontay Wilder and Earnie Shavers
I can’t do good work in Excel without getting compliments,
I really need the validation.
Can anyone tell me the Japanese word for "good"
I dont know it, but I thought umaido
I've never had an eggs benedict at a restaurant as good as the one I can make in my own kitchen.
There's no place like home for the hollandaise.
How can you tell a good father?
By the quality of his dad jokes....
When my uncle worked at the iron mill he made a fortune sneaking out material that he could sell. One can say he was very good at steeling.
A Chihuahua and a Bulldog are in a bar having a drink, when a good-looking female Collie comes up to them and says, "Whoever can say liver and cheese in a sentence can have me." So the Bulldog says, "I love liver and cheese." The Collie replies, "That's not good enough."
Finally, the Chihuahua says, "Liver alone, cheese mine."
Fathers of reddit what are some good softball puns that I can use?
I have a girl I want to woo and take her to prom but I need some good material that is funny and gets to the point, I know this isn’t a joke but i really wanna take her to prom
I can never have a good conversation about wrenches with anyone...
I guess there just isn’t that much to torque about.
Can someone recommend a good dermatologist?
I was in town earlier on looking for some fly killer. I picked up a can and asked the young store assistant "Excuse me, is this any good for wasps?"
"No" he said, "It kills them"
Is it a good restaurant? How can you ask me that? I mean...
I had a very good math teacher. He was an integral part of my life. It doesn’t add up that I can’t remember who he was.
He is a real Mister Riemann.
I can't think of a good flower pun right now...
You can always tell how good a dad is, by how many baby wipes they use
3 wipes: rookie dad, hasn't figured it out yet
2 wipes: getting there, but still a noob
1 wipe: master dad
0 wipes: not a very good dad.
I can never do any good titles
How can you tell when a farmer is really good at what he does?
When he's outstanding in his field
Help, can someone help me make my elevator pitch more interesting, and can anyone think of a good Egyptian related pun to put as an opener?
You know, not everyone can preserve perishable goods inside metallic containers
I can not think of a good pun for the title
I can’t bake a good pun that will crack you up, they’re all just scrambled in my head
Does anyone know where I can find a good James?
I was in the pub having a drink when a girl came up to me and said she can show me a good time. So I followed her out the back where she took off her top...
...and she ran 100m in 10 seconds
I can’t think of a good title.
A good Knight should make sure they have a weapon that they can count on
Good one from my dad: "I can cut wood by just looking at it"
Came up during a conversation about having a bonfire
Dad "Here's something you might not have known about me, I can cut wood by just looking at it"
Me, fully expecting a dad joke: "I don't believe you but would you care to elaborate"
Dad: "Its true! I saw it with my own eyes"
He giggled to himself for about 10 minutes after that one.
Don’t want to get political, but I simply can’t resist a good pu(ti)n
Can you think of a good Star Wars pun?
not only is it a pun based on the song "Can't Hold Us" by Macklemore and Ryan Lewis, it's also a good reminder on how to pronounce the word coelacanth (see·luh·kanth)!
Can't think of a good title
I can sing a really good solo
But I sing it solo you might not hear it.
I want to get my buddy a good present but all I can find is a painting that has a prostitute saying, "1,2,3,4..." and I don't think he'll like it.
But it's the thot that counts.
Can anyone think of a good pun for my comic...i can't think of anything
My wife told me I can't make one good joke
My two pet crabs have very different personalities. One is always in a good mood, but the other can be a bit of a grump.
Their names are crabA and crabB
If your girlfriend can cook good Chinese food, you’d better marry her...
As a plumber, I often have nightmares about the dripping faucet I can't fix and the toilet that will not flush (good horror movie titles, btw)...
It's plumb crazy, but I have pipe dreams!
My daughter wants the new iPhone for her birthday. I told her she can have one if she gets good grades, does her chores and follows the house rules. Otherwise she will get a cheaper phone because
It's my way, or the Huawei
I’d make a joke about fighting but I can’t think of a good punchline
A man walked into a hardware store, picked up a can of fly spray and asked the assistant, "Is this good for wasps?"
A man walked into a hardware store, picked up a can of fly spray and asked the assistant, "Is this good for wasps?"
A man walked into a hardware store, picked up a can of fly spray and asked the assistant, “Is this good for wasps?”
He said, “No, it kills them.”
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